Whumptober 2023 ~ Marvel Edition

'I'm Up, I'm Up!' - Tony

Day 12:

"I haven't slept in days, but who's counting?"
Red | Insomnia | "I'm up, I'm up!"

~~~

In the cold, empty void of space, though all is silent, the adrenaline he felt was so loud and all consuming that it almost canceled out the nothing. Though Tony could feel the gravity pulling on him from behind, there wasn't enough oxygen from where he was for any air to enter his lungs. All he could do was sit there and pray he reached the Earth's atmosphere before it was too late.

This was it. There was where he was supposed to fall back through the portal. But he didn't. He didn't, and his eyes widened with panic. Tony craned his neck as well as he could in the suit of armor, and when his eyes finally were able to see the space behind him, that's all he found - space. The portal was gone, and so was his chance at survival.

But he was still falling. Falling, and falling, and falling, and very quickly running out of air.

~~~

The hand shaking his shoulder startled Tony awake and he jolted upright in his seat.

"I'm up, I'm up!" he said, then looked in the direction of the hand to see Pepper standing over him, looking concerned. He took a deep breath in and let the adrenaline fade out of his system.

"Are you okay?" Pepper asked him, letting her hand fall from his shoulder. "Was it another nightmare?"

"Nah, I just dozed off for a second," Tony lied. "Barely enough time to have a dream."

"Oh, is that why you were whimpering in your sleep?" Pepper asked.

Tony furrowed his brows in offense. "Whimper? I don't whimper."

"Sure you don't." Pepper rolled her eyes. "Either way, you should go to bed. Sleeping at your desk can't be comfortable."

"It's not. That's why I wasn't sleeping," Tony insisted.

Pepper raised a brow at him and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Okay fine, maybe I dozed off for a little longer than I said. But I'm fine, really," he said, rubbing his neck to ease the ache having fallen asleep at such an awkward angle had caused.

Pepper sighed. "How long has it been since you've gotten some sleep? And don't lie this time."

Tony internally debated on doing just that, but he knew better than that. Pepper would know if he were lying. "...Three. Maybe four."

"Four...what? Hours? Days?" Pepper asked.

"Days," Tony admitted.

"Tony," Pepper scolded.

"I know, I know," he said. "I just...working helps, okay?"

"Does it, though?"

"It does," Tony promised. "I know it may not seem like it, but it does. I just...need a way to keep my mind off of things, and working does that for me. It may not be the healthiest thing I could be doing, but it's working, so why fight it?"

Pepper sighed. She didn't exactly agree with him, but she didn't see a point in arguing with him either. As of right now, besides passing out at his desk, the consequences of not sleeping hadn't caught up with him yet. That didn't mean they wouldn't, but for the time being, Pepper trusted Tony to take care of himself. Maybe that was a bad idea, but Tony was a grown man; if this was how he chose to deal, then Pepper would let him, as long as it stayed within reason. Plus, she wanted to be as supportive as she could. If she was ever going to convince him to get the help he needed, Pepper needed to be strategic about it. She couldn't just bring it up every time he did something she thought warranted it, otherwise she was pretty sure she'd drive him insane.

"Fine," Pepper said. Tony could tell she was fighting every instinct to say otherwise, and he appreciated that more than she could ever know. This was just something he needed to deal with on his own, and until she'd been to the empty and unforgiving void of space and back, then neither her nor anyone else had a right to judge him on how he chose to go on dealing with his existence, especially when it really wasn't causing him all that much harm.

"You know," Pepper continued. "you really should put a couch down here. That way when you pass out, you'll be less likely to wake up with a sore neck."

Tony smiled light-heartedly. "Thanks. I'll look into that."