Whumptober 2023 ~ Marvel Edition

'You Look Awful.' - Peter & Irondad

Day 26:

"Sometimes I get so tired, I don't even know myself."
Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | "You look awful."

~~~~

"Hey, he's just in his room. You can just head straight on back," May told Tony as he stepped through into their apartment.

"Thanks," Tony replied. He stepped past May and started off towards the teen's room.

"I'm really glad you stopped by," May commented. Tony stopped and turned around to listen. "I think he'll be really excited to see you. He's been working really hard lately; he could use the pick-me-up."

Tony flashed May a small smile. "The kid's been doing great. You should be really proud of him."

"Oh, I am," May remarked, her smile wide with pride. "He's a special boy, that one."

Tony nodded in agreement and, seeing May turn away, thus signaling that the conversation was over, he focused his gaze back onto Peter's door and walked up to it. Tony rasped his knuckles against the wood and patiently awaited a response. Thankfully he didn't have to wait long, because mere seconds later, he heard Peter call for him to come in. Well, probably not him specifically - he doubted that Peter knew it was him at the door and not his aunt - but nevertheless, he took that invitation to come in, just the same.

When Tony turned the knob and pushed open the door, he noticed the state of disarray the boy's room was in first, then finally looked to Peter, who was sitting at his desk, and he internally cringed.

"You look awful," Tony commented. He internally cursed his non-existent filter, but mostly he was too shocked to care that much.

Peter's eyes were red and barely open - despite his obvious attempts at putting on a brave face - he had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was a mess, and his the way he would squint his eyes ever so slightly ever couple of seconds led Tony to believe that the kid was suffering from a headache. May hadn't been kidding when she said he had been working hard. In fact, that was probably a huge understatement, based on the state of him.

"Thanks," Peter said sarcastically with a small smile and shake of his head. "Did you need something, Mr. Stark?"

"I was just coming to check up on you; you sounded a little off in your last message, and now I see why," Tony remarked. "You wanna come grab some grub with me? Your aunt can come too - it'll be my treat - by the state and smell of this room, I think some fresh air would do you good. And possibly a shower."

Peter shook his head again and let out a light chuckle. Normally he might've taken offense to that sort of comment, but this was Mr. Stark; teasing insults were half of his personality. It was a quality that Peter often found entertaining. He didn't necessarily appreciate all of the quips directed towards him, especially since he was very well aware of how awful he looked and probably smelt, but it didn't upset him, necessarily.

"Thank you for the offer, but I only have about an hour and a half left to get about three hours of homework done before I have to go out on patrol, so I don't think I'll have time tonight. We can plan for another night though, if you want," Peter suggested.

"Skip patrol," Tony stated, with a small shrug of his shoulders.

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Skip patrol?"

"Yeah, skip it," Tony encouraged. "Queens isn't going to fall into ruins just because you took a night off to get dinner with your aunt and favorite mentor."

Peter laughed, but then his expression began to gradually dim back into a neutral one. "No, but what if someone gets hurt and I could've been there to stop it? I just...I don't think I could sleep at night knowing I didn't do everything in my power to keep people safe."

"And why does that all fall onto your shoulders?" Tony asked, helping himself to a seat on Peter's bed to get to his eye level.

"Because who else's would it fall to?"

"I don't know, the police," Tony suggested. He sighed. "Look, kid, I know the burdens of being a superhero - trust me, I've lost plenty of sleep over it in my day, too - but you have to learn how to set boundaries. You can't help everyone, and you especially can't run yourself into the ground trying to. You're no help to the people of this city if you're running on E all of the time."

Peter looked down into his lap and began to pull at his fingers. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Compartmentalize," Peter clarified, turning his gaze back up at Tony. "How do you live your life knowing that you had the power to stop so much pain and didn't do everything you could to stop it." Peter's eyes went wide as he realized what his words might have implied. "N-N-Not that I think you should be doing more - you're amazing - I just...you don't spend every waking moment of your free time in the streets fighting crime, a-and-"

"Hey, it's okay," Tony cut off his rambling. "I know what you mean. And, honestly...just having faith that the system will pick up the slack when you're not there really helps a lot. Also, knowing and accepting that taking care of yourself inadvertently helps you take care of the people. Because when you feel at your best, you put forward your best, and sometimes, in spotty situations, only your best is good enough. And if you screw up on a mission or while on patrol because you're not at your best, that is going to eat at you just as much, if not more than not having been out there in the first place."

Peter nodded, taking a moment to really digest Tony's words. He had a point. He would hate himself if something bad happened to someone because he was too tired to put forth his best. The people deserved more from him than that. So many people relied on Peter and thought of him as their savior, and if he was going to live up to that image, then he needed to start by taking care of himself.

It all seemed so simple, but how come it was still so hard for him to accept? Agreeing with Tony was one thing, but believing it for himself? Allowing himself to pull his attention away from the people and towards himself? Though, he supposed that perhaps one or two days off a week from patrol wouldn't be too bad...

"You're right," Peter admitted. "I know you're right. It's just..."

"I know," Tony said, sympathetically. He really did get it. He might not always seem like it from the outside, but he's had his periods of self-doubt and thinking that he deserved less because he could give more than others. Tony just wished Peter could've been spared that burden. "But the first step in changing that mindset is to acknowledge that you have something you need to fix, and then from there, real change gets easier."

Peter nodded thoughtfully.

"So come on; you think you're up for some Chinese tonight?" Tony offered.

A small smile crept onto Peter's lips. "S-Sure. I guess that would be okay."

If he speed ran his homework and pushed the half that wasn't due tomorrow to do tomorrow night, then he could still go out on patrol tonight, even if it was for an hour or two less than normal. Maybe it wasn't all he was looking for, but at least this way he could still get some sleep tonight. Baby steps, right?

Peter stood up from his chair to grab a pair of shoes and suddenly, the world began to spin. Peter steadied himself and blinked a couple of times to get the image of two Tony's to return to one. Thankfully, the dizzy spell only lasted a couple of seconds.

"Woah, kid - you okay?" Tony asked, holding his arms out in case he needed to stop Peter from falling over.

"Yeah," Peter chuckled out of embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I just need some food more than I thought I did."

"Well, then it's a good thing that's where we're going, huh?" Tony said. "Come on, let's head out. I'll get you whatever you want - my treat - and feel free to go ham; spend as much as you want."

"I-I can't-"

"Yes, you can," Tony argued. "In fact, I insist. Let's call it step two."

Peter smiled shyly. "Thank you, Mr. Stark. I really appreciate it."

"Of course," Tony replied. "What else are mentor's for?"