Jason and Justin

Chapter 19 A conversation with Jan and Pete

                          Jason POV

I did not call my parents as soon Justin left with Billy. I wanted to, I really did.  But the maelstrom of anxiety that was tearing through me, causing my stomach to do somersaults and my knees to shake beneath me did not allow it.

All I could do was sit down and curse myself for my stupidity. I should not have gotten mad at them. I should have just accepted that they did not wanted to speak to us like a good soldier and not gotten upset about it.  I should not have acted so petty towards them.

But I did and now I have to pay the price for my pettiness.

I guess I should get this over with I thought as I looked at the phone. I slowly got to my feet and walked to the phone as tight knots began to form in the pit of my stomach.

I walked up to the phone and froze. I wanted to pick it up and start dialing but arms would not move.  All I could do was stare at the phone while my stomach continued to twist and turn.

You can do this I told myself as I forced my hand to reach out to the phone and grab it. I found my chest tightening as I tried to make myself dial their number.

Come on Jason stop acting like a scared little boy and be a man. Its not like you are twelve and in trouble for Jane for not doing the breakfast dishes. I mean Justin faced getting his butt whipped with more courage then you are calling your parents.

I pushed my anxiety and the terror that was crawling up into my throat aside and began to push the buttons. By the time of the first ring the fear had evaporated.

"Coleman residence." My mother said.

"Hey mom."

"Well look who finally decided to call." My mother said in a harsh tone. "Its Jason." She then said to my father.

"I'm sorry I didn't call earlier." I said as I felt guilt beyond to eat at my stomach.

"You should be sorry." My mom said angrily. He could not get over how much she sounded like Jane at that moment. I found myself instinctively rubbing my backside. "Your father and I are very disappointed in you."

A small flame of anger lit inside of me. I forgot about the fear and shame I was feeling as my cheeks went warm and said "Well I'm pretty disappointed in you guys too."

"Excuse me." My mom said incredulously. "How dare you say such a thing to me."

"What did he say?" I heard my father say. I filled with instant regret.

"He said that he was disappointed in us."

"Let me talk to him." My father then got on the phone. "I don't know what has gotten into Jason but you don't talk to your mother like that." He yelled into the phone. In my mind I could see spit flying from his mouth and covering the reciever. "You are being childish and I wonder if we made the right decision in sending in Justin away with you."

My body tensed at the last comment.

"Perhaps we should have him come home until you grow up."

"Please don't." I said. "I'm sorry for what I said but don't make me send Justin home." I can't let them take him back. They would neglect him I thought. They would not give him the attention or the discipline he needs.

Funny how they put me through the wringer for not calling but they did very little to Justin for skipping school with his friends.

"Then you better change your attitude."

"I will." My voice cracked.

"I'm going to put your mother back on you." He said. "You better watch what you say young man."

"Jason." She said.

"Yes, mom." I hung my head as a cloak of shame wrapped itself around me tightly.

"As I was saying we are very disappointed in your behavior."

"I know." I said with remorse in my voice. "I'm sorry."

"Stop interrupting me."

I was about to apologize again but I closed my mouth instead.

"You caused us a lot of humiliation tonight." She told me again. "So this is how you are going to make it up to us. You're sister upset with us for sending Justin away. And had decided that we can no longer see Wyatt because of it."

"I'm sorry."

"We don't want your apologies Jason." She said. "We want you to talk to her and convince her to allow us to see our grandson."

"Me?" I said in surprise. "Why do you think she will listen to me?"

"Because you're her little brother and she loves you."

"She hates me right now." I said. "She hates me for taking Justin away. She is not going to listen to me."

"Well I want you to try anyway." She said. "Or do we need you to put Justin on the first bus home."

"No." I said with panic in my voice. "No you don't."

"Good." She said with a sound of satisfaction in her voice. "I need you to do this as soon as possible. There is a grandmother and grandbaby event at the club this weekend that I don't want to miss."

"Yes mom."

"We will call you tomorrow." She said.

"Okay." Jason said. "I love you."

"We love you too dear." She said. "Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and guilt and shame began to overwhelm me. How could I be so stupid, so petty. They expect better of me and I let them down.

What would I do to Justin in the situation I asked myself.  I punish him his disrespect, his insolence.

I guess I should be punished too.

I set my the alarm on my watch for fifteen minutes and then walked over to the corner and put my hands on the back on the head.

And as I stood I questioned if this was enough. Or should I take a trip to the house with Oliver.