past, present, and future | hwang hyunjin

t h i r t y - s i x

c h a p t e r   t h i r t y - s i x

I spent an hour or two sitting there and chatting with Hyunjin. We caught up, or more like he caught me up on what I had done over the days I lost my memories. "I'll never know clearly what you did, but at least I can remind you of what we did together and the things I know of," He had said.

One of the biggest problems I had was that in the forgotten memories, I completely just lost the knowledge about my comeback. Hyunjin played one of the songs for me. He said that I had written it myself, and from my actions, guessed that it was about him.

It's like towards,

Towards something,

Towards nothing,

When I'm with you

It's like towards,

Towards something,

And that something,

Just might be you

My clear vocals came strong and clear over the backing track as he started the song. I was not expecting this much vocal improvement over the past few months. "Wait, pause," I stopped the recording as Hyunjin looked at me questioningly. I wanted to know if I still had the skills or if it was something that I needed to think about in order to execute.

My vocal warmups were not forgotten, so I did one. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah," I sang, raising my voice higher every time. Higher and higher I went, and I realized I could hit higher notes than the ones that I remembered being able to hit. I also found that my voice sounded much more full when hitting those semi-high notes. So I may have forgotten some technique, but the fact that I could ever sing like that was still embedded inside me.

I finished, out of breath. Hyunjin only stared at me in awe, as if he were admiring my voice. I shook it off as nothing. I was only curious as to whether I could still sing as well as I did in the recording. Clearly, I could, with a little bit of practice later. "Okay, continue."

As the song went on, I began to appreciate my own songwriting. This was a good song. I would never know what I truly intended to write the song about, but I could infer the general meaning. It was emotional, too. My fuller voice completely nailed the emotions, and they were shown even through a simple recording. It was like a moment of "Wow, I can do this," for me. 

Whenever I see you,

My eyes go bright

Whenever I see you,

You're like the light

It's never ever ever,

Going to disappear

Because I'm going to-woah-woah-woah

Towards the end of nowhere, nowhere, nowhere

Whenever I'm with you baby,

We're going through a story