second try [sxf x child! reader]

⋆ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ ⋆

CW: MENTION OF BLOOD AND STUFF

Akira sat with his hands on his lap, watching Anya twirl around in her new black uniform with golden laced edges. The fancy and expensive shirt felt weird on him and desperately wished to be back in his simple blue jacket and running shorts.

"You don't want to dance with Anya?" Loid asked from across the room, leaning on a tall desk. 

Akira shook his head simply, casting another mournful look at his jacket sprawled across the small sofa.

You look great.

Anya beamed at him, spinning around once more as a long-haired lady walked in wearing pointed earing and looking nervous, "Um, excuse me-"

Loid stiffened and turned around, his eyes widening as he spots the stranger.

What's he thinking? Akira asked Anya silently.

She shrugged and continued to jump around though Akira could see she was intently listening to their thoughts.

Loid cleared his throat as he started talking to the new person who reddened and answered back. Suddenly, Anya ran over to them and crossed her arms over her chest, swaying back and forth as she started reciting something about not having a mother. 

"Anya?" Akira frowned. What was up with her now?

The women started saying something and Loid motioned for Akira to follow him outside. Reluctantly, Akira did, grabbing his jacket and wrapping it around his waist. 

"My late wife passed away," Loid was explaining.

Akira raised and eyebrow at Anya who mouthed, Go with it.

"It was really sad," Anya added.

Akira looked down at his feet as the stranger looked at him. "I don't want to talk about it," he said quietly, hoping that it added for effect. He didn't know why his heart jumped up when he saw Loid smile out of the corner of his eye.

He pulled Anya away as Loid and the person- called Yor- started discussing something about a party.

"What's going on?" He hissed, fingering the sleeve of the jacket.

"We're gonna have a mo-"

Akira straightened, "What?" 

The two adults looked at them and Loid laughed, returning his glance to Yor who looked nervously at her dress.

That night, Loid went to a party with the stranger, Yor, which made Akira awfully suspicious. Franky- Loid's co-worker that they'd met early that day- had been assigned by Loid to watch over them. By the time Akira went to bed, it was later than usual and Anya passed out immediately. Akira was so unsettled that by the time he went to bed, all he could think of was his demonic childhood.

"Akira!" A sweet voice rang in his ears. "Gotcha a new client!" A tall, blond haired lady smiled at him, crinkles under her eyes, teeth pointing outwards. 

Akira leapt up, brandishing a knife from his belt. "Who?" He chirped excitedly. 

"Jackson! You've always hated him... right?" The women grinned, her red eyes flicking back and forth.

The rest was a blur. 

His knife, plunging into a writhing pale-haired boy.

 A burst of red. 

Screaming and horror and demons haunting his life.

His own parents calling him a monster.

They were gone the following night.

A drop of blood splattering across his chin as he raised his knife once more, a sprinkle of red dotting his jacket.

Akira sat up, cold sweat dripping down his neck. It was quiet outside and he pulled the blanket closer to himself before lying in bed for hours, realizing he couldn't sleep. 

He needed someone. Anyone right now in the state he was in and Anya wouldn't be much help right now, being asleep and all. Finally, he gathered enough courage to open the door of his and Anya's room and found his way towards Loid's. Thankfully, their father was still awake, legs crossed as he studied a book.

Akira knocked on the door, trying hard to swallow his tears. "Can I come in?" His voice catching.

A pause and then Loid was at the door with a slight frown, "Akira, why aren't you-" He stopped as he saw the expression on the boy's face. "Alright, come in."

Akira held his jacket close to his chest as he followed Loid, toying with the idea of telling him... But  he had to, if he wanted to start a new slate and if Loid wanted to abandon him, well, he wasn't wrong and since Anya trusted him, why couldn't Akira? Afterall, she could read minds. 

Loid sat down on his bed and motioned for the boy to follow, which he did obediently. 

"I have something to tell you," he squeezed his jacket, avoiding eye contact.

Loid waited patiently, the dim light of a lamp casting a warm shadow over them.

"So, you know how I blurted 'I'm dangerous' at the orphanage?" Akira said quickly, words spilling out of him like a waterfall.

"I always thought that was strange," Loid said dryly.

Akira's chest shook as he tried to breath fluently. "Well, I wasn't lying. When I was a kid there was this girl who made me..." He couldn't say it. "She made me kill people." He forced it out, catching a sob before it made it's way out.

Loid stared at him, but he didn't look scared like Akira had expected. "Akira?"

"I... there was this organization," Akira wiped his eyes, it was too late to stop now, "they made me kill my parents and my friends and- and-" He couldn't. He tried not to let his form break but collapsed into the bed, his vision going blurry with tears. "And I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I..." He felt his throat closing up, heart hammering as tears welled up in his dark blue eyes. "I know I'm a monster," he whispered, his body numb. Before he knew it, he was wrapped in strong arms, rocking him back and forth slowly.

"Hey," Loid said slowly, like he was unsure of the situation. "It's not right, Akira. What you did wasn't right but it's not your fault your childhood had to be like that. Mine was bad but yours... yours sounds so much worse." He hesitated. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it but would you like to tell me who made you do it?"

Akira felt himself crack and as he began to cry he felt like all the unspoken grief and terror he'd carried for years was out in the open, that he was vulnerable to harm. His clenched fists were the only telltale sign of his silent struggle.

Loid looked down at him, debating what to do next as he watched the boy. His cries were barely audible but the weight they carried was heavy and lonely, each stifled sob resounding in his ears.

"Akira," Loid ran his hand through the boy's hair gently, trying not to startle him at the sudden touch. "It's amazing that you were able to admit to it, it really is and now that you've said it, you don't need to worry. It's not something that defines you, heck, it's nothing that defines you. It's definently affected who you are now and you're perfect, Akira. There's not a single thing about you that I would fix and you're no monster. You're the purest soul I know out there and keep it that way."

Akira shoulders shook, his breathing ragged as he continued to let the tears he'd held back for years finally fall. "Idon'tknow," his words jumbled together as he apologized, "I'msorry."