Undisclosed Desires

Chapter 5

Hi guys! Here I am again. In three days. You didn’t expect that did you? This one is slightly longer too, so I guess I kept my promise didn’t I?

Like always, enjoy!

ps: I'm thinking about choosing a cast for this story, but I don't really know who to choose. Any suggestions?

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You can totally do this, Mel. I mean what could really happen? Maybe you’ll receive one punch, but that isn’t too bad. You’ve had worse. If he touches you with one finger, he’ll get shocked. You don’t have to be afraid.

I was standing in front of my mirror as I chanted these lines over and over. You can totally do this, Mel. I mean what can...

My second day here at Cavanaugh and I already had to give myself a pep talk. It was ridiculous. What sixteen year old was afraid to go to breakfast? Well, I wasn’t scared really, more nervous. I wanted this to work with Nate. I don’t know why, but for some reason I wanted to stay in their group. And I had a distinct feeling this could only happen when Nate liked me or could stand me at least.

I had tried to come up with something to ‘prove myself’ as he had said, but I couldn’t think of anything really. Things like punching him when he says something insulting or making a hilarious joke weren’t going to help. 

I sighed and raked a hand through my waist-length brown hair. It looked like a haystack. It was my own fault. Completely exhausted, I had gone immediately to bed yesterday, without washing or even brushing my hair. The fact that I had showered and brushed my teeth was a miracle. I had felt like shit. 

After running my hand through my hair for a few times I gave up and grabbed a rubber band from my nightstand. I’d never been a fan of a ponytail or knot, but I had no other choice right now.

At last I opted for a messy bun, a few strands of hair falling around my face. I wasn’t completely dissatisfied, it looked actually better than I’d thought. But I still preferred my hair loose.

I quickly walked to the cafeteria, the novel Aydin had given me clutched in my hand, in case I got kicked out of the group. Somehow it gave me a bit more confidence, knowing I would always have something to do. 

Once I was in the cafeteria I saw that everyone sat in the same place as yesterday. Audrey was waving at me from the other side of the cafeteria. I grinned at her and raised my hand. 

At the table were also sitting James, Crystal, Jesse and of course Nate. He was glaring daggers at my head, looking as if I had killed his pet turtle or something.

My heart started beating rapidly in my chest and I knew it was time to get my plan into action. The idea seemed so good yesterday, but now it felt utterly ridiculous. How could you win someone over whom had started hating you before you had spoken one word.

I quickly got my breakfast, only a juice this time, and made my way towards their table. My head held high, although it was very hard for me to do so.

“Hey guys,” I said as cheerily as possible.

They all greeted me warmly, except for Nate of course, and Audrey stood up to give me a hug again.

“Try the best you can,” she whispered in my ear as she embraced me. 

I looked her straight in the eye and nodded once. I would still try, even though I knew this was Mission Impossible 4. 

“So,” Audrey began, turning her body towards mine slightly. “How was your first day of school?”