Changing Seasons

Forty-Five

****

Atira had picked out a U-cut Christmas tree farm that was out towards the country. Rocco cheered with delight as they pulled into the gravel lot.

The farm had a concession stand with hot chocolate and kettle corn, a petting zoo, a hay bale maze for the kids, and tractor rides.

"Here we are!" Atira announced as she threw the Subaru into park and pulled on a red Santa hat. "I got one for you guys, too!" She laughed.

Rocco eagerly put his hat on, "Dad, you gotta wear yours too!"

"Yeah, Dad." Atira laughed.

Krist rolled his eyes, swapping out his beanie for the stupid red felt hat, careful that Rocco didn't see the staples in the back of his head. He followed the two to the entrance, feeling slightly annoyed that he was wearing white sneakers at a tree farm on a drizzly day. They're just shoes, he reminded himself, taking a deep breath. His aching side didn't help his already cranky mood.

Atira and Rocco had already made it to the petting zoo, cooing over a red and white calf.

"It's so cute!" Rocco gushed to Atira.

"It is!" She agreed.

Krist forced himself to be cheerful, even if he wasn't feeling it. "Look at the goats, Roc!"

He pulled out his phone, snapping pictures of Rocco and Atira as they pet the animals. Rocco begged for a quarter to buy grain to feed them. Krist hadn't had any change but Atira did and was eager to give them handfuls of grain.

"Dad, take a picture of us feeding the goat!" Rocco yelled as he shoved his fist through the fencing to offer black and gray goat kernels of grain. Both Krist and Atira lifted their phones, snapping pictures.

"Let me get one of you and Atira together," Krist suggested.

Atira crouched down, wrapping her arm around Rocco's shoulder, the two of them smiling. Krist snapped the picture, it came out nice and he set it as his Lock Screen wallpaper. After the petting zoo, Atira chased Rocco through the hay maze and bought them hot chocolate. Krist felt guilty for not being as present as he would have liked to have been. He was grateful Atira was as amazing with Rocco as she was.

The afternoon was getting late, and Atira suggested they skip the hay ride to pick out a tree. Rocco whined but accepted when Atira offered to buy him a Happy Meal on the way home.

Rocco had wanted the biggest, tallest tree he found. Kristi talked him down to a fluffy four-footer and explained they would have to wait to get a big tree once they were living somewhere other than an apartment.

"Okay, Dad," Rocco sighed.

Krist sawed the tree down, Rocco yelling "Timber!" As it fell to the ground.

"Good job, babe!" Atira grinned, snapping a picture.

Krist carried the tree, through the mud in his white sneakers, to the front to pay. Rocco was given a small candy can and chocolate Santa.

"What do you say, bud?" Krist nudged him.

"Thank you," Rocco smiled, showing all his teeth.

After stopping at the drive-thru to grab dinner, Krist carried the tree upstairs to the apartment, running into April in the elevator.

"Hi!" Rocco told her cheerfully, "We got a Christmas tree."

"I see that, it looks nice." She smiled back at him and then smiled smugly at Atira.

"That's April, she's my dad's friend," Rocco blurred out. "She used to ask my dad to come over but she doesn't now." Krist felt his face redden, he couldn't believe Rocco had announced that. The doors opened on the second floor, April excused herself as she said goodbye to the little boy. Atira shot Krist a look he had never seen on her face. Anger? Jealousy? Krist diverted his eyes to his muddy shoes.

Krist kicked his shoes off in front of his door as he unlocked it, Atira followed suit. He had Rocco remove his boots and wash his hands before setting him at the table with his Happy Meal.

"Let's put the tree in the stand and then eat," Krist suggested. Atira helped him guide the tree into the stand before filling it with water. They ate dinner in awkward silence that was occasionally broken by one of Rocco's jokes. After dinner, Krist had Rocco bathe and put his pajamas on.

"It's getting late, should we decorate the tree tomorrow? Rocco has school and we both work." Kris said to Atira as Rocco brushed his teeth.

"Sounds like a plan."

****

"What's the story with the neighbor girl?" Atira asked as they sat on the balcony after their shower.

Krist lit a joint, "Nothing, really." He could feel Atira's eyes burning a hole into him. He took a long hit. "You really want to know?" He coughed. Atira nodded, her stomach doing flip-flops in her ribcage. "We had like a...thing for a few months. Nothing serious and I completely cut it off with her."

"So...you, like, slept with her?"

Krist stared at his hands before taking another his of his weed. "Yeah. I swear to God I haven't fucked with her since you and I started talking."
He unlocked his phone, scrolling through the messages with April, and handed it to Atira. "See?"

Atira looked at the date in the text, "Oh, wow. So you really ended things as soon as you and I started talking again?"

Krist nodded and coughed. "Yeah. I wasn't sure where things with us were headed but I didn't want to talk to any other broads if there was a possibility of us getting back together."

"When was the last time you slept with her?"

"A few days before you messaged me," he admitted, taking another hit. "Can I ask you a question, since we are on the subject?" Atria nodded. "When was the last time you slept with anyone, before me?"

It was Atira's turn to feel uncomfortable. "Well," she began, "A few weeks before I messaged you."

"Was it Kevin?" he wanted to know. She nodded. "Is that why he showed up at Thanksgiving because he felt like there was something still there?"

Atria let out a deep breath, "Yes."

Krist could feel himself tensing, "How did it happen? Or had you two been talking again at that point?"

"We were kind of talking. I didn't have any intentions of getting back together with him, I was just...lonely, I guess."

He coughed, put the joint out, and looked at her. "Can I ask you an honest question?"

Atira's jaw muscles tightened, "Of course."

"God, I feel like I should have asked this before getting Rocco involved," he paused and stared at his hands, "Am I just a rebound to you or are you honest to god serious about a future with me?"