Changing Seasons

Forty-Seven

****

The morning kicked off like every other morning. Rocco raced into the room before the alarm went off and cannonballed onto Krist's belly as he yelled, "Daaaaaad!" Unlike the other mornings, Krist hadn't had a foot-long incision on his abdomen.

Pain shot through him, hot and angry. On impulse, Krist shoved Rocco away and shouted, "Fuck! What the fuck?" As he clutched his belly.

He'd never reacted that way to Rocco. Tears glistened in the little boy's pale-colored eyes as he bolted out of the room.

"Are you alright?" Atira asked carefully.

"Fuck, that hurt."

Atira swung her legs out of the bed, hurrying to Rocco's room. The little boy lay face down on his bed, face burrowed in the crook of his arm, his shoulders shaking as he cried. She rested a hand gently on his back, "Rocco," she said softly.

He sat up, falling into her arms, "I didn't mean to hurt my Daddy," he sniffled.

"I know, and he knows that. He has a tummy ache. I know he knows you'd never want to hurt him."

Krist entered the room, feeling horrible for raising his voice. "Hey, buddy, I am so sorry for yelling at you." He sat down beside his son, hugging him. "I am so sorry."

"Are you mad at me?" Rocco looked up with his big, sad eyes.

Krist tightened his hug on his son and kissed the top of his head, "I could never be mad at you, bro. Ever. Especially never over an accident."

****

Krist dropped Rocco off at Head Start and started his morning work, deliviering people's food from restaurants. The money wasn't as good, but he stayed busy.

As he drove, he thought about that morning's events and the look on Rocco's face when he'd raised his voice to him. How the hell could any parent see the hurt in their child's eyes and just not fucking care? He, himself, had been a small child when his father screamed at him, called him names, and belted him. How could Marcus look at him and not even feel something?

Krist had always known his father was a piece of shit, but once he'd had a child of his own, the full impact of his father's actions hit him like a ton of bricks.

Fuck him, he thought to himself, resentment coursing through his veins. Krist tried to focus on the positive in his life. Rocco. Atira. His health. A safe place to live. Stop letting that mother fucker live in your head.

Krist turned his system up, and Eminem's Space Bound was playing. The song reminded him of his insecurities in his relationship with Atira. He skipped through his Spotify list until he found something that wouldn't put him in his feelings.

Looks like it's gonna be one of these days, he thought bitterly to himself. One of those when every little thing got to him where shit started to feel hopeless. Where he just felt alone and empty despite having people who did care and were supportive of him. Krist felt guilty for feeling that way. A lot of people didn't have any support system whatsoever, yet he did and still felt like an empty sack of shit. How can someone feel lonely as fuck when they have no reason to be?

****

Krist finished his morning shift before heading to get Rocco from Head Start. They had lunch, Krist FaceTimed Atira and had Pho delivered to her while she worked. Afterward, he decided to make a stop to see Jeordie and Cami. Krist hadn't spoken to them much since Friday, plus Rocco loved visiting them. Krist had even appointed them as Rocco's honorary godparents, though they weren't religious.

"Hey!" Cami greeted Krist and Rocco as she opened the door.

"Hi Cami, got any treats for me today?" Rocco asked, letting himself into her duplex.

"As a matter of fact, I do! You wanna come with me to pick something out?"

Rocco nodded enthusiastically, following his godmother into the kitchen.

Cami had gotten inspired by one of those reality baking shows and gotten hardcore into baking. She'd even started accepting commissions for sweets, making them upon request. On top of regular requests, she also had a 21+ option for marijuana-infused desserts. Krist wasn't big on sweets but goddamn her edibles were bomb as hell.

"What's up, dog?" Jeordie asked, shirtless on the sofa. He pulled on an Insane Clown Posse jersey.

Krist moved a pile of laundry to the side, sitting on the couch with his friend. "I'm alright, bro. What you have been up to?"

"Living the dream, can't complain," he grinned. "Gerald said you ain't coming back to work? That true?"

Krist swallowed hard, "Yeah. After what happened, it's probably for the best. Atira was all freaked out." Krist omitted the fact that his anxiety wasn't about to let him return either.

"How you feeling?"

"Not bad."

"Dude, there was so much blood. Bryana looked like she came out of a Rob Zombie movie when the ambulance took you. She was covered."

"Yeah, you were saying that," Krist replied.

"Can I see?"

"Where the dude stuck me?"

Jeordie nodded, "Yeah, is it super bad looking."

Krist shrugged, "Not really. Where the hospital cut me open is the worst, the other shit ain't even that big. It's just hella bruised." He stood and lifted his shirt so his friend could get a look.

"Dude, all that blood came outta those two?"

"The doctor said it was because he got me spleen. I guess that shit bleeds like a mothafucker. The one in my scalp bled a lot, too. I guess your head has a lot of vessels, so it always looks worse than it is. I dunno."

Rocco wandered into the living room as he ate rainbow-frosted sugar cookie, "Why were you bleeding, Dad?" He wanted to know.

"Told you, my belly hurt."

Rocco took a bite of the cookie, taking in what was told to him before he decided the answer was sufficient. "Oh yeah."

"What's up little man?" Jeordie held his closed fist out to give Rocco a bump.

"Can I play on your Switch?"

"Sure thing, bro," Jeordie smiled, handing Rocco a wired control and setting up Mario Odyssey. "You should give Bryana a call when you get the chance. She's been super worried. I know Atira and Cami let her know you're good and all; but Bryana basically saved your life."

Krist remembered her stripping his shirt off and applying pressure on his side until the ambulance came. He definitely owed her.

"I'll call today or tomorrow before she goes to work. How's everything been going for you?"

Jeordie shrugged, "It's been alright. I been helping my lady with her Christmas orders. She's been getting crazy business. We have been talking about renting a space somewhere and setting up a legit shop, or even just doing a stand down at the farmers market."

"Cool shit, you should do that."

"You want to take any edibles home?" Cami asked, handing him one of the sugar cookies Rocco was eating.

"Sure, I'll take some."

"Did Atira go home?" She wanted to know.

"Nah, she's here all week. After Rocco's birthday, we are gonna go stay in Seattle with her til Christmas Eve."

"That's probably going to be good for you to get away from here for a bit."

Krist nodded, biting into the cookie. "Goddamn, that's hella good. For real."

Krist spent another hour catching up with his friends before heading out with Rocco. After all, they had a Christmas tree to decorate.