Changing Seasons

Thirty One

*****

"Why are you in my dad's bed?" Rocco wanted to know as he stood sternly at his father's bedside.

"We didn't have an extra bed," Krist told him, thinking quickly.

Rocco studied the two of them hard, processing his dad's answer. "You are weird."

Krist sat up, "C'mon, bro, let's get you ready for school."

"I'm sorry," Atira mouthed as Rocco left the room.

Krist flashed a half smile and followed his son into the kitchen. He poured Rocco cereal, seated him at the table, and headed to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Is he upset?" Atira asked softly, a look of concern on her face.

Krist shook his head, "He's fine," he assured her, pulling black Dickies off a hanger. "You hungry baby? I can grab us breakfast after I drop Rocco off at school."

"Kind of. If you could get me a croissant and a latte, that would be fantastic. I can Venmo or Zelle you the money."

"I got you, baby."

****

Rocco glared at Krist from the backseat, "You changed your clothes with her in the room. That's weird, Dad."

In the rearview mirror, Krist made eye contact with him, "Just my shirt, bud." He lied, feeling guilty. The little boy folded his arms over his chest and turned to the window. "When you get out of school, should we go get ice cream? Just me and you?" Rocco didn't respond. "Do you like Atira's cat?" No answer. "Look, bud, you know you're still the most important person to me in the whole world. Just because dad has a girlfriend doesn't mean you aren't important."

Guilt hit him like a ton of bricks. He'd let his dick make another stupid choice, and Rocco was paying the price for him rushing things.

They pulled into Head Start. Krist helped his son out of the car and walked him to the door. He crouched down, meeting him eye to eye. "I love you, buddy. When you get out of school, we can do something together. Just me and you." He straightened Rocco's jacket. "I love you, bro."

Rocco feigned a smile. "Love you too."

Krist walked him into his classroom before waving goodbye. He was so fucking selfish to not think of Rocco's feelings. His son hadn't even seen him with a woman; it was always just the two of them.

****

Krist returned to his apartment with croissants and coffee. Atira had set up a makeshift office space at his kitchen table and was already working on emails.

He handed her a croissant and her latte, kissing her. "Rocco's pretty pissed off at me," he told her, sitting at the table.

Atira's eyes filled with concern, "Oh no. I can go home after I get off work," she told him.

His heart sank. He didn't want her to leave. "You don't have to," Krist told her, almost pleading. "I can sleep in the living room or even Rocco's room."

It was apparent that Atira was feeling uncomfortable about the situation. "I'll still come back Friday," she assured him.

Krist could feel anxiety setting in. What if she didn't come back? He couldn't bear to think of that scenario. "You promise?"

"Krist, of course. I wouldn't just ghost you. Especially you. I love you, baby." She told him.

"I love you, too."

"I'll take us to dinner tonight, the three of us. Before I head home."

The duo finished their croissants. Krist wiped down the table and tossed the trash. "I've got to get to work too, baby." He told her. "What time do you get off?"

"Four," she replied, brushing a hair out of her eyes.

"I'll be back around then," he bent down to kiss her again, kissing her several times as though it would be the last. "I love you so much, Atira."

She stood and embraced him, "I love you."

****

Krist spent his morning preoccupied with thoughts of her leaving. He made stupid mistakes as he shopped, whether selecting the wrong items or nearly forgetting them. His rating for the day was going to suck balls.

It had been so long since he had been in a relationship that he'd forgotten how fucking needy he was. That had been one of his most significant flaws in relationships, excluding all the shady shit he did while on drugs.

Both Atira and Nina had seemed to tolerate his excessive clinginess during their relationships with him as teenagers. Heather had flat-out hated it, going so far as to ridicule him for it. She'd tell him to "get the fuck off her," say he was smothering, controlling, even a fucking stalker.

Lainey was just as clingy and obsessive as he was, which had been how things had snowballed into a relationship as quickly as they had.

They had met at a house party thrown by a friend of a friend of a friend the summer after Krist's twentieth birthday. Jeordie had been the one who was invited but had been told to bring whoever he wanted so long as they were chill. It had been Jeordie, Cami, her brother, Daniel, and Krist. The four had been doing coke that whole evening and were on a good one.

Krist wasn't someone who got social or talkative from cocaine, so he'd found a spot to sit away from the party. Daniel had been uncomfortable and stuck close to Krist,

They were chilling in lounge chairs, sharing a blunt and checking out all the rich girls in skimpy summer clothes when one, in particular, caught his eye. She stood his height in her black stilettos. Her high cheekbones shone with highlighter, and her filler-plumped lips were glossy. She also had pale green eyes covered in bold eyeliner and false lashes. Her hair was blonde, teal, and purple hair was straight and nearly waist-length in style. A form-fitting pink halter dress adorned her slender yet curvy figure. She'd caught him looking, made eye contact, and immediately looked away, smiling.

Krist leaned back in his chair, hitting the blunt when she approached him. "Why do you keep looking over at me, creeper?" She wanted to know.

Krist cocked his head, "Creeper?"

She laughed, "I'm just playing. I'm Lainey."

He raised his hand in a lazy wave, "Krist."

"Chris?"

That always happened. "Krist." He made sure to enunciate the t at the end.

"Like the Nirvana bassist?" She puzzled.

Krist grinned. It was the first time anyone had ever made the connection. "Yes! Exactly like that."

Lainey giggled, "Your parents were big Nirvana fans?"

He offered her the blunt, "My dad was. He wanted to name me Kurt, but my mom hated it, and Dave was too common."

"That's hella funny."

Within an hour, they were making out and sneaking inside the house for privacy. It had begun like any other hookup but felt so much deeper than that.

She'd taken him back to her studio apartment downtown, where they laid out on the rooftop, stargazing and sharing their life stories.

By the following night, they'd decided they were in love, and Krist was moving in with her.

Jeordie and Cami had been floored when Lainey brought Krist home to collect his belongings.

"You literally have known her one day, Krist!" Jeordie said, "Don't you think that's a little fast?"

"A little? It's a lot faster. Krist, you're that fucking pussy whipped?" Cami asked him.

He felt dumb as fuck and didn't want to explain that what he and Lainey had was beyond sex. It was more. Krist let them know he'd still pay his entire month's rent and his portion of the bills. Cami offered to keep his room for when he came to his senses.

Unfortunately, the toxicity, obsession, jealousy, and general dumpster fire of a relationship hadn't brought him to his senses-it had been becoming a father to Rocco.