Silver roses 【soukoku】

Chapter 19.

"No." Dazai said. He was not buying wine from Rome. He was not buying wine from Rome because Chuuya wanted it. And he was not spending his own money to buy it. Money he needed to live. 

"Who're you talking to?" Akutagwa asked from his side. They'd gotten themselves a 15 minute break to look at the souvenir shop, where Dazai had lost Chuuya to the hoard of people inside, and had spent 3 minutes looking the wine bottle. 

It had a black label, with gold writing on it, and the wine inside was a rich, red color. It was also horrendously expensive, and Dazai could buy it if he really wanted it. 

He'd barely send any money since they started. He didn't need magnets and shit. What he needed was something money couldn't buy him. Not yet anyway. 

"Oy, Dazai. What're you looking at?" Chuuya asked from behind, seemingly appearing from nowhere. "What? Oh uh nothing." Dazai said, shoving aside all unwanted thoughts from his mind. It wasn't like Chuuya could mind read or anything. Could he-?

"Holy shit." He said, looking at the bottle of wine Dazai was staring at. "Cesanese di Affile. Damn it, I read about this wine. Should I get it?" He asked, looking at Dazai. Dazai didn't really know how to respond, so he just shrugged. "Your choice." 

Chuuya eyed him suspiciously. "Why were you looking at it anyway? I didn't think you were all that into wine." 

"I'm not into wine." Dazai said, rolling his eyes. "Get it if you want, Chibi. And then let's move. We need to finish our project so that I can relax." 

Chuuya looked at the wine with such longing that Dazai felt a pang of......No fucking way. He was not...of a fucking wine? 

Dazai turned away to not look Chuuya in the face, because he was sure he look aghast. And he was. What the hell was this dude doing to him? 

Rome was beautiful. All of Europe felt like something out of a dream, and Chuuya wasn't sure how to take it all. He'd never been to Rome before, but he'd heard about it, from Aurthur. His office used to be somewhere around here, before he decided to relocated to Japan for him and Ane-san. 

It felt tiring, everything Chuuya was doing. 

He wanted to live. But he didn't get how to go about it. Life was.......never-ending and too short at the same time. It felt so fragile, but no matter what you did it didn't go the way you wanted it to. He tried not to touch his choker, not to think of all the people he'd lost. His mother, his brother and- 

"Chuuya!" Chuuya jolted, hearing his name shouted aloud. "Wha-" Before he could finish the sentence he was tackled by something. 

No, someone.

Chuuya fell on his back, his shoulders throbbing. 

"You stupid peice of shit." Fyodor said in his Russian accent. Chuuya couldn't really figure out what was happening, in the midst of the the harsh sunlight and all the people around him. 

"Did you not learn-" Fyodor continued. "-to look both ways before you crossed the road? Or to not just pause in the fucking middle like some deer caught in the headlights?" He said, his accent making it somewhat hard to understand. It wasn't like his Japanese was really bad. It was fine. 

"I-what?" Chuuya asked. 

"You paused in the middle of the road. I called your name 3 times and you still didn't move. Keep giving me dumb answers and I'll push you back on the road myself." Fyodor said, crossing his arms with a gruff look on his face. 

Chuuya wasn't sure how to respond. He hadn't had a blackout in forever. His disassociation had gotten better, but maybe it still hadn't faded completely. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't- realize." He said, getting up and giving Fyodor a hand to get up too. Fyodor looked at his hand like it was stale piece of bread. And then he finally got up. 

"Well, what are you two doing?" 

"Well, what are you two doing?" Nikolai said, his voice dripping with venom, even though he had a cherry smile on his face. Chuuya jumped a little, while Fyodor just sighed. 

He ratted off something to Nikolai in Russian, who just laughed in disbelief. He said something back in Russian, but Dazai didn't bother paying attention.

No his attention was on Chuuya. And his hand. Which was holding Fedya's hand. 

Dazai locked eyes with Fyodor, and he smiled. Fyodor rolled his eyes and let go of Chuuya's hand, who didn't really seem to mind. 

"What are you doing?" He asked, keeping his voice normal. Or at least, trying to. Fyodor said something to him in Russian. 

"Your mask's slipping." 

"I'll glue it back on with your blood." 

"I uh- I fell." Chuuya said blandly, looking at Fyodor for a second, who just shrugged back at him. "Fell. I see." Dazai said. Chuuya frowned at him and Dazai braced himself. 

"C'mon Slug I already told you that I wanted to rest! Let's finish this quickly." He whined, and Chuuya sighed. "Why am I stuck with you again?' 

"Because you love me!" 

"Cheer up it's out second last destination. I don't want this to end." Atsushi said, while Dazai sighed. "You're so energetic, and it's the morning." 

"Yes, and now we're going to Switzerland. Akutagawa can finally get a pic with the black and white cows! They match either way." Atsushi said, while Akutagawa flipped him off from where he sat, with his sister. 

"Atsushi-kun. I think I'm going crazy." Dazai said frowning. Should he tell Atsushi? Would he understand? Hell, even Dazai didn't understand what he was doing. 

Wasn't he moving too fast? He'd known Chuuya for 6 months. 6 months felt too less. It felt like they'd known each other for 7 years. Fuck he was going insane, wasn't he? 

"What? Dazai-san, tell me you haven't drunk something." Atsushi said, with a little laugh. "You're always crazy. It's one of your finest qualities." He said, with a shrug.

"I have. I'm drunk on the tomato juice the pigs inside your toes grow." He said, with a straight face. Atsushi blinked, and then he laughed. 

Dazai wasn't laughing. 

"I feel like I've gotten smarter here." Tachihara said, breathing in the air. "No shit. For someone as dumb as you, breathing might be considered getting smarted." Ranpo said from his side, while Tachihara made a face of mock hurt. 

"Ranpo, I'm hurt." He said, while Ranpo pretended not to care. 

They're gotten closer after they'd paired together. So much that they paired together this time too. Chuuya didn't really mind, but what set him on edge was the fact that Nikolai also wanted to be with him, in the group. 

He'd been a little off after the whole incident with Fyodor, but to be fair, both of them had been weird the entire trip. They didn't have the 'broken-up' air around them, but it felt like argument air. 

And Chuuya did not want to be involved. They talked mostly in Russian, which Chuuya had started to understand little bit, but they spoke Japanese and English at times to. 

It was weird to hear them switch the languages so quickly, and also a little impressive. Chuuya had the urge to learn more language, which was stupid because he know Chinese, Japanese and English, all fairly well. 

But there wasn't really anyone he could practice his Chinese with, so most people didn't know about it. 

And well, he wasn't one for showing off anything too much either way. 

Author's note:

This spur that i have for updating this will not last and im so sorry lmao but i will try and finish