BROKEN VOWS (Broken Redemption Book 1)

Chapter 6

Emilia

It's crazy how one tragic event can derail the rest of your life. How circumstances outside your control can thwart even the best-laid plans. It wasn't until he left me standing in that parking lot yesterday that I realized how true this is for us.

For him, Jen, and me, that one event forever changed the course of our lives. It shifted our world, skewing our individual realities and turning them into something foreign. Nothing made sense after what happened and our paths, which were once joined, veered apart in ways none of us saw coming. Even now, almost 15 years later, we haven't recovered. I suspect all of us are still a little lost, doing our best to navigate a world that will always feel wrong.

For Lucas and me, the fire and subsequent death of his parents signaled the beginning of the end. It was a prelude to the actual end, which came seven days later on the night after the funeral. I don't know what woke me, but I found him sitting alone in our living room. A broken boy sobbing into his hands. Though the room was blanketed in darkness, I could see him clearly. His shoulders slumped in grief. Elbows on his knees. His hair was a frazzled mess like he'd run his hands through it repeatedly.

Next to my father, he was the strongest person I'd ever known. Someone unshakable, who no matter the predicament, would stand tall and steadfast in the face of it. It's why seeing him so crushed and defeated that night was as shocking as it was heartbreaking.

With tense muscles, I hurried to him, kneeling at his feet as I pulled his hands from his face and brought him into my arms. I remember holding him, both of us clinging to one another like we were keeping the other afloat. The uncertainty of a future we'd never imagined hung heavy in the air like a poisonous cloud threatening to suffocate us.

I remember closing my eyes and praying between sobs that somehow this was all a dream. That life as we'd known it and the security we'd taken for granted was still our reality. But the shuddering agony mixed with the feel of our tears as we purged our grief left me no choice but to accept the inconceivable truth.

His parents were gone.

Life as we'd known it was over and there was nothing I could do to fix it. But I could be there for him. Like he'd done for me a thousand times before, I vowed to help him get beyond the grief.

After what seemed like forever, our tears stopped. Together we sat back on the couch, holding hands as we talked. The conversation kept to lighter topics at first. Funny stories he brought up, probably to lighten the mood. At one point, he grew somber again. It was then that he shared his version of events that night...

"My parents went to bed early. I'd told them I'd be home. That I wouldn't be attending the bonfire after all. I was so sure keeping my distance from you was the best thing for everyone, but as I sat in my room with the walls closing in, I couldn't do it. The thought of you with Parker, of him being the one to hold you that night. To kiss you... I just couldn't. Without thinking, I grabbed my keys, wrote my parents a quick note, and then rushed out the door. I never imagined that would be my last time walking out of our house. The last time I'd share a roof with my parents. The last time I'd feel completely at ease and safe in my own existence."

"It wasn't your fault, Lucas. The fire marshal said..."

"For god's sake," he springs to his feet. Running a hand over his face in frustration, he adds, "I know what the fire marshal said. I know I couldn't have stopped the fire, but if I'd been there, the three of us would have made it out."

"You don't know that, Lucas. You can't know what would have happened."

"Yes, I do," he raises his voice to a loud whisper. With eyes like icy daggers, he stares me down. "I do know because that same fire marshal told your dad that my mom made it out, that my parents had a chance to escape, but that something drew them back into the house. They thought I was home. They went back in to save me and I wasn't even there. They suffocated and burned in a scorching inferno trying to save a son who, by all accounts, is the only person who deserved to die that night." His words are spoken with such certainty and contempt that I'm left gasping for breath.