BROKEN VOWS (Broken Redemption Book 1)

Chapter 8

Lucas

Once at our destination, I steer us onto the gravel lot. The state park I haven't seen since the night of the bonfire and subsequent tragedy looks much the same. Except for the new walking path that winds from the parking lot down to the lake, which shimmers brilliantly in the mid-day sun. The line of trees just beyond are heavy with spring flowers and bright green foliage. A few families are milling about the picnic area, but all are far enough away that we'll have the privacy needed for this conversation.

Grabbing the bag of food, I help her out of the car. Then I open Nero's door, opting to leave him off the lead, since I know he'll stay close. We don't go far, choosing the closest picnic table to set up the food, while Nero explores our surroundings. As we sit down to eat, I can't help but notice the awkward silence that's followed us from the car. This kind of tension isn't us, or at least, it didn't use to be.

Clearing my throat, I dive right into the reason we're here. "Why do you think me leaving was your fault?" I do my best to act casual, pretending the question isn't a big deal when it guts me to think she's been harboring these feelings all these years.

"I... I was the last one to see you. The only one who knew how much you were hurting, and I didn't help you. I did nothing to stop you."

"I meant what I said, Embree. Do you really think you could have stopped me?" This time I remain in control, my voice convincingly calm and reassuring.

"If I'd known, I would have at least tried."

"But that's the point. You didn't know, so why blame yourself?"

At first, it looks like she's going to answer, but then tears well up in her eyes.

"Fuck. I'm sorry." Wincing, I rise, moving to take the seat next to her so I can pull her into my arms. "Please don't cry." I shift my gaze towards the bright blue sky, praying the universe takes pity on her and strikes me down. Even when I try to help, all I seem to do is hurt her.

"If I hadn't been so wrapped up in that kiss, in how perfect it felt to finally be with you..." she blurts between sobs. "Then I would have noticed what you were planning to do. That you were planning to run."

"You couldn't have known, Emb," I choke out, digging deep to keep my own emotions in check. "Because I didn't want you to know. It's something I had to do. Leaving was my only choice, and I didn't have it in me to tell you. I knew it would hurt you and I was too much of a coward."

When she falls silent, I hope it's because I've broken through to her. But when she stiffens in my arms and pulls back, I realize nothing could be further from the truth.

"So, that's it, just like that. After you kissed me. After you took my virginity and made love to me. You didn't think for a second you should stop and discuss your plans with me? Or at the very least, wake me up to say goodbye? You told me you loved me, Lucas. You told me you loved me!"

Betrayal. That's what I hear tangled up in her angry words. Her vehemence catches me by surprise, and I'm lost. Scrambling to come up with something to say, I look away. When she pulls out of my embrace and stands, my arms fall limp onto the table. Defeated, my shoulders slump and I drop my head in shame.

"I waited two years for you to be ready for us, and when you finally gave in that night, it meant everything to me, Lucas. Everything! And then we made love. First times are supposed to hurt. They're supposed to be awful and awkward, but that's not how it was with us. It was perfect. We were perfect!" She yells, and though I'm not looking at her, I feel every bit of her anger and hurt like a slap to the face. "How could it have meant so little to you? How was it so easy for you to walk away?" From yelling at me to broken sobs, the change in her voice damn near breaks me apart.