BROKEN VOWS (Broken Redemption Book 1)

Chapter 20

Lucas

I can't believe that once again I'm sitting in my car, working up the courage to knock on my sister's door. Only this time, it's not the regret that's holding me back, but the utter anger and resentment I feel towards her husband.

The man who's forced me into this hell. Thanks to him, the throbbing ache I endured for years has turned into an excruciating form of torture. A torment far worse than what I went through as a prisoner of war because, in this case, there is no hope. No escape. There is nothing to latch onto, to help ease away the painful reality that my parents are gone and the life I always wanted died alongside them in that fire.

Just three days since he forced me into this arrangement, the voice that tells me I don't belong in Ruby Creek has grown exponentially louder. Even while my desire to belong has exploded into an insane type of desperation. Especially now that I've had a taste of what's missing in my life. Now that I've caught a glimpse of the path I didn't take. A life that only existed in my dreams and will forever be out of my reach.

I'd hoped that taking that walk through memory lane would help me and Embree find some much-needed closure. Instead, what it did was bring those old feelings and wounds to the surface. Like a neon sign, it lit up all the hurt, all the unfairness, and the mistakes. By the time we got off that mountain and back to our respective cars, we were but mere shells. Both of us distraught yet resigned to the fate that had somehow torn us apart.

For the first time since the rescue, it made me wish I could go back to the days of complete dissociation. Back when numbness was my friend, and I felt disconnected from the world. From the regret. From the pain. And what's worse than the fact I can't escape the feelings drowning me is that for the next year, I have no choice but to white-knuckle my way through it. Because of him. Fucking Ben.

Without a word, I secure Nero's harness and force myself to get on with it. Sitting here stewing changes nothing. It only gives the asshole more power over me than he already has. What matters now is that I be here for my sister. That I help pull Embree from the hell she's under. And that I don't give Ben the satisfaction of knowing how utterly miserable I am because of him.

Locking the car, I lead Nero up the stone steps to the front entrance walkway. Aware of my dark mood, I sense him scanning over me as if he's trying to decipher what it is we're walking into. Looking to put him at ease, I praise him for being the good boy that he is. By the time we knock on the front door, he's relaxed. His tail wags in anticipation as he pants at my side.

"You came!" Jenny squeals as she launches herself into my arms. Her elation at my arrival warms my heart as much as it fans the flames of my guilt. If I hadn't left her, then maybe she wouldn't be married to the manipulative asshole.

"Of course. I told you I would." I drop a quick kiss on the top of her head.

"I know," she groans. "But I'm still getting used to having you around. I guess a small part of me was afraid you had better things to do," she says with a shy smile, as she takes me by the hand and pulls me inside.

Hearing that she feels that way stings, but her feelings are justified. For years, I wasn't there. Having missed every important milestone of her adult life, I deserve every bit of the regret that's eating me up inside.

"There's nothing more important than you, Jenny. I hope you know that." The wistful look in her eyes when she spins to face me says everything I wish I didn't know. I've been absent from her life and so damn careless with her heart she genuinely doesn't know how much she means to me. "I've missed you." I playfully swipe a knuckle under her chin.

"I've missed you too," she chuckles before looking away. The tears in her eyes are hard to miss, no matter how hard she tries to hide them. "Sorry. Darn pregnancy hormones. It feels like all I do is cry."