Blink Back To Let Me Know -Brallon-

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a perfect day so far. We spent a lot of time in the park just people watching, for some reason he loves to people watch. He never says much about them, just watches. He told me once that he liked to imagine where they were going, what they were thinking. Making up scenarios with ridiculous endings just to appease his imagination. Like the time the guy in the business suit walking by the bridge was actually a mafia boss on a stakeout. Yeah, they were honestly weird but, that was Brendon. He loves to put everything to an extreme in his life. Love, music, stage performances, skateboarding, it was all done with a passion unlike anything you have ever experienced and he won't settle for anything less than perfection.

I just wanted to spend a day together free from judgment and maybe to clear my head a bit.

Stress and insomnia has taken it's toll on us. We've been working really hard lately trying to get this new record off the cutting room floor. A year ago, we were at the top of our game. On tour, coming down from a new album high that seemed to never end. We finished our European leg of the tour and we were excited to reconvene in the studio for the sake of our fans.

For the sake of our sanity.

Then, we hit a roadblock.We were writing lyrics but, could never seem to get the score completed. 6 months in and frustrated, we all decided we were burnt out and in need of a break. Spencer and Kenny went home to their families for a month for some quality time while Brendon and I decided to stay in Vegas to see what we can do with what we have down already. Which wasn't much.

As we lay in the grass, staring at the random clouds in an otherwise blue sky, he turns his head towards me and whispers "Dall, what are you thinking?"

I was comfortable, relaxed, not even realizing what I was going to say but, there it was. Those words flew from my mouth and passed my lips like a fly escaping through a car window.

"About how much I love you... THIS! I mean this! Just laying here and..." My voice trails off.

I lay silent, breathing way too fast, my heart feeling like it is going to explode. Oh my god!

I know my face must be red, I can feel it.

Why the hell did I say that?!
I wanted to die right there. Really... UGH!
Shit, what did I do!?
We are barely dating!

My whole body feels numb.

I turn my head opposite of Brendon. I can't let him see me.

Oh god, maybe he didn't hear me?

Seconds slip by and I feel sick.

Brendon slowly moves his hand next to mine on the grass, snaking his long fingers in between mine and grasping tightly.

My breath hitches and I start to panic.

He's never done this before...

Then I hear those words that I will never forget.

"Love you too, Dallon."

He smiles one of his goofy smiles and plants a soft kiss on my forehead and god does it feel amazing!

"I can't believe that just happened." I say, laughing nervously. "I kinda always hoped it would have at least been romantic when we finally said it."

He turns on his side resting his elbow in the grass, "Dallon James Weekes, I have literally loved you since the moment I saw your adorable, gigantic body walk into my studio. I couldn't even fathom the thought of living my life without you."

Wow, I think I might just melt from his cuteness.

Reality starts to set in and I feel my anxiety permeate my chest cavity.

"Bren, I... I...", I sigh.

No, I can't do it. I am going to break his heart and I just can't do it. I turn away from him so he won't see me cry.

"Dall?"

I close my eyes and try to stop this moment from happening.

I say nothing, maybe he will just walk away?

"Dallon, what's going on?... What's the matter!?" His voice is louder but, almost breaking at this point.

He is genuinely worried, I know that tone in his voice. Shit!

I summon some courage and I lie through my perfect smile.

"Nothing, B, nothing. I am just happy you said it back."

"Christ, Dallon! You scared the shit out of me!" he shouted, Pulling his fingers through his thick black hair, he keeps his head down " I thought you weren't okay for a second" he almost sounds scared.

"Sorry, B. You know it's hard for me say what's on my mind sometimes."

"I know Dall, I know. I really do love you, you know that, right?" He smiled again. Less goofy and with a more concerned look of slight confusion in his eyes.

"I love you too, B. Nothing is wrong." I say quietly, snuggling against his chest and trying to stop the tears from flowing.

He pulls me close and we lay there for a little while longer as the sun is setting in front of us.

It's just a small white lie, right? I mean it's true, I do love him.

I just didn't tell him how dark my life has felt lately.