Blink Back To Let Me Know -Brallon-

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Summary:

Brendon and Dallon are elated that the boys are so accepting of their relationship. Dallon starts to second guess himself...

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Kenny shows while we are just finishing dinner. He fixes himself a plate and quietly sits next to Spencer. He politely laughs at Brendon's stupid story about him and Pete; "a drunken night of things no one wants to hear about" as Spencer describes it. I can't place it exactly but, something seems a bit off about Kenny tonight. I don't quite know what though. I sit there thinking for a minute and when I tune back into reality, Brendon is wiping tears from his eyes from laughing so much.

As I stand up to clear the plates and go put the leftovers in the fridge, Kenny reaches for a glass across the table and says "You want some help with that, Dallon?"

"Uh, sure, thanks." I say and lead the way through the patio doors to the kitchen. He places the glass in the sink and starts to walk back out of the kitchen taking two steps then stopping to turn back as if he is conflicted on his next move.

"Hey, man, what's up? You okay?" I ask him. He looks up at me and steps back to lean against the counter. He doesn't say anything for a good 30 seconds so I ask again. "You okay?" I walk closer to him and nudge him in the elbow. He looks at me and says "I am glad you are okay, Dallon." with a slight crooked smile. I lean in and give him a hug. He hugs back tightly and then steps back against the counter again.

"Thanks, man. I really appreciate all the support from you and Spencer. I mean, I know it hasn't been easy on you two either."

"I am really sorry, Kenny." I say shyly.

"Hey, it's alright, Dallon. I mean, I get it. I really, really do." His voice trails off for a second and I catch a hint of sadness in his voice.

I really don't want to pry but, I ask anyways, "Have you ever felt that way, Kenny? Um, I mean... Have you ever felt like you didn't want to be here anymore?" It's a hard question to ask but, I have a feeling that I know what he is going to say.

He turns to me and his voice is barely a whisper at this point. "About 5 years ago, I got to a really low point in my life. Some things just piled up and kept piling until I felt like I couldn't get out from underneath it anymore. I isolated myself and I had it planned but, I didn't go through with any of it. My brother for some reason had come over that day and hung out, just out of the blue. I ended up getting really drunk and I told him what was going on. He helped me get a counselor and I am at a point in my life where I feel happy again. It's not perfect; we all have those days but, yeah. I understand where you are coming from man, that's why I was so angry with you. Because, I know how it feels on both sides of that blade. I fucking get that. But, you have to try, okay?"

He grabs my arm and looks at me with empathetic eyes and says, "Just, just try to make sure we know when things need to slow down or if you need some time. Okay? It's not a problem if we have a quiet night once in a while. Shit, if Brendon was quiet for a night, I think I would faint!" He starts to laugh and I do too because, yeah, Brendon is very loud and seems to never shut up; the asshole even talks in his sleep so, yeah, I get it.

He wipes his eye with the back of his hand and lets out a deep breath, slowly.

"Okay" I say, smiling at him. "I promise. You wanna go see what the guys are up to? I'm sure one of them would love to fill you in on some things."

"Oh shit. Does it have something to do with Spencer's frantic phone call to me earlier?" he laughs, loudly.

"Yeah. I think it might?" I mumble as I walk toward the patio doors. He follows behind and stepping out I can hear Brendon say "...well, yeah, why else would Pete want to see Gabe so much?"