Compulsive Actions, Intrusive Thoughts. (Yellowjackets Oneshots)

All night long. (Van Palmer x Fem!Reader)

(ITS NOT SMUT, I KNOW THE TITLE MAKES IT SEEM LIKE IT IS, BUT IT'S NOT.)

You knew Taissa and Van for a long time, probably why they don't throw the most mouth opening, eye widening, toe curling, heart stopping, tear jerking roast comments at you whenever they're mad.

Taissa does let it slip, but is quick to apologize though.

Your entire life you thought you were straight. (couldn't be me, but wateva babe) Well, that was until you joined the all-girls Yellowjackets team. Your gay awakening.

Hot women everywhere.

Natalie Scatorccio? A regulation hottie. (I want her to stuff me like a taxidermy doll and mount me on her wall like a prize.)

Lottie Matthews? She could just ask and you'd get on your knees. (I want her to hit me with her car and then reverse back over me.)

Jackie Taylor? If she didn't have a boyfriend, you would've asked her out.

Shauna Shipman? If she wasn't fucking the one above her's boyfriend, you would've simped like a puppy.

Taissa Turner? Can you even say this about your friend whom you have no romantic feelings towards? Probably not, but god does she look hot when she's mad.

And Van Palmer. God, Van Palmer. (I want her to hide my body in the woods and start the search party for trying to find me.)

She just looks so fucking good during practice.. Just sweaty and her hair's all messed up, and like the uniform sticks to her, and her heavy breathing, like oh my god.

No one should have a right to be that attractive.

Especially gingers. (This is a Childe/Tartaglia hate page.)

"Hey, dude. What's up? How you doin'?" She smiled, showing off those pearly whites. (Rrrrrrrrrrrr)

You noticed her skin was glistening with sweat. Her orange hair all fuzzy and stray, strands of hair sticking to her forehead. But the way her chest heaved when she breathed. It was enough to send you to the moon and back.

"Nothing, nothin' really. Just watching you practice." You rested your chin on the palms of your hands.

"Don't you also have to practice? Since you're on the team and all." She spoke before booping your nose.

"Head hurts, badly." You lied straight through your teeth, you just wanted to look at her for forever and ever.

"So i shouldn't have booped you then?"

"Yep, now it feels like satan's inside my head."

Laura Lee turned her head.

"Huh–"

"Nothing! Nothing! You just heard the air. We said nothing!" Van covered.

"Thanks. Wouldn't want to have her thinking shit."

Van just shrugged.

"Anyway, you still up for supper? After practice, y'know?"

"Hell yeah! You're paying though."

"Oh fuck off!" You rolled your eyes.

"Your idea, hon." She taunted. "I still gotta go change, i don't wanna go to a random place looking like this."

"Oh, wow. Since when did you start caring about other peoples' opinions?" You taunted back at her.

"I don't, my clothes feel uncomfortable. Like, would you wanna see me walking around in a sweaty soccer (football) jersey which is practically see-through?"

You nodded.

"Yes, yes i would." You replied truthfully.

"Tease." She pressed her lips into a thin line, containing her laughter.

"I might be, but I'm not a jokester."

"Yeah, yeah. Letting you in the soccer (ahem, football) team was a mistake, you crunchy granola lesbian."

"Excuse me! Just because i'm gay doesn't mean i specifically look for boobies! My eyes just wander to them! I appreciate every part of a woman, and hey! Boobs are a part of a woman's anatomical structure!"

"Pulling out the dictionary big words, eh? Anatomical? I didn't even know you knew that word."

"Shut up with your psychedelic ass."

"On the topic of ass, that's probably where you're pulling these words out of!" She laughed.

"You're a bitch."

"So it seems." She curtsied, grinning widely.

"Anyway, i really do have to change. Soo.."

"Fine." You stepped out, Van walking inside the locker room.

(After she's done, 4-6 mins maybe?)

She got out, changed into another pair of clothes.

"Ready to go, madame Palmer?"

"Wi"

"You really butchured french, huh?" You chuckled. (My french ass would shoot anyone who said 'wi.' Bitch you're not talking to the Wii so stfu.)

"Can't speak it well." She shrugged again.

"My car or your car?" You asked.

"My car is my goddamn house, what do you think?" She rolled her eyes.

"Woah there, tiger. Calm down."

You looked around your bag and took your keys.

You started walking to your car, unlocking it.

"Ladies first." You bowed.

"What a gentlewoman."

"Yes, yes. I know. So respectful." You turned your head, flipping your hair dramatically.

You entered your car, turning the radio on.

"Ah, this one's so good. It's totally bonkers" You bopped your head lightly. (I'm talking about "C'mon N' Ride It." Banger.)

"If by bonkers you mean you mean amazing."

"That is what i mean." You replied.

"Also, who says bonkers these days?" She laughed.

"Hmm. Cool kids." You spoke confidently.

You started the car, driving to the burrito place you wanted to go to.

You and Van were singing the entire way there.

(Timeskip, 40 mins, at the place.)

You walked in ordering two burritos (whatever toppings you want) to-go.

Van spoke up and started talking about random things while you were waiting for your burritos.

"Finally." You groaned, paying and leaving. Hopping back in the car.

"God it's late." You mumbled, looking at your watch.

"Why? We only drove around for like, 2 hours? What's the time anyway?"

"Like, i mean, 11:54 late."

"What?! Okay. Maybe we spent a bit more tan two hours."

"A bit more." You mocked.

"I guess we'll have to stay out all night long, huh?" She teased.

"We really don't, i could just drive you home–"

She cut you off with a kiss to your lips.

"Shut up, dude. You ramble way too much, if you stay quiet long enough, i really might hide your body in the woods. I promise to get the worst of the worst search parties so they'll never find you."

She kissed your cheek.

"Just kidding."

(I hope y'all saw the amount of movie references in there. I added a bunch of those in.)