The Great Pretender's Obsession

Chapter 16

"Nandito siya kanina. Bukas ng gabi nandito ulit 'yon," sabi ni Kyla na kakapasok lang sa attic dala ang dinner ko. "Sa tingin ko nagtataka na 'yon. Nawawala ka pero hindi ka namin hinahanap. Baka nag-file na 'yon ng missing report sa mga pulis."

Dinagsa ng kaba ang dibdib ko. I've been locked in the house for two weeks or so. Hindi ako lumalabas dahil umiiwas pa rin ako. Walang palya ang pagpunta niya rito tuwing gabi. I would just watch him whenever he step out of his car and enter the house. He look so messy. Restless rather.

"But you don't have to worry. May initiatives si Papa para hindi siya magtaka. You're still his princess and he would do anything to keep you out of danger. May balak ka bang bumalik? O magf-file ka ng annulment?" dagdag niya.

"Hindi. Pahuhupain ko muna siguro ang nararamdaman ko. I'm still shocked."

"Grabe naman kasi 'yong camera."

Tumango ako. "I'm not going to annul our marriage. I'll talk to him about this things."

"When?"

"Hindi ko pa alam."

"Okay, then. Aalis na ako dahil maaga pa ako sa trabaho bukas. Night, Ate."

"Night."

I ate my dinner while staring at my phone. Hindi ko pa iyon nabubuksan. Kapag binuksan ko 'yon ay paniguradong mat-trace niya ako. He'll get mad. Madadamay ang pamilya ko.

Natigil ako sa pagsubo nang may kumatok. Just when I was about to ask who is it, I heard Papa's voice.

"Cream, it's me. Can I come in?"

I opened the door and immediately gave Papa a hug. I don't usually feel emotional but seeing Papa right in front of me makes me want to hug him. Na-miss ko bigla si Papa kahit magkasama naman kami dito. Hinagod ni Papa ang likod ko at doon ko lang ipinalabas ang mabigat na bagay sa dibdib ko. Miss na miss ko si Papa.

"I miss you, Pa," I whispered.

"My princess. Papa's always here."

"I know, Pa. Na-miss lang kita ng sobra. Love you po."

"Papa loves you too, princess. Are you okay? What do you want me to do?"

"Ayos lang po ako."

"Can I come in?"

"Oo naman, Pa."

Niluwagan ko ang pagkakabukas ng pinto at pinapasok si Papa. He sat on the chair next to my bed. Ako naman ay umupo sa aking kama paharap kay Papa. Naluluha ako habang nakatingin kay Papa. Some strand of his hair is already white. Tumatanda na ang Papa ko. I missed being embraced by Papa. Our heart to heart talks, his life advices, and being treated like a precious gem. Adulting is full of stress. Everything is being rude to me. I want to be a child again with nothing to worry about. The only therapy I know is distance and silence. This week has been so mentally draining. So not ready to face my responsibilities tomorrow.

"Me and your Mom is going to leave next week," he started.

Of course, the ticket I gave them.

"Do you want to come with us?"

"Hindi naman po sa lahat ng pagkakataon tatakbuhan ko ang problema ko, Pa. It doesn't work that way. We need to fix this, though. Mag-asawa kami."

"You don't have to force yourself, Cream. If you need time, then take your time. You have nothing to worry about when you are with Papa, right? I have always told you that. You just sit there and let papa do the work for you. Do you want to go with us?"

"Tinatakbuhan ko ang problema, Pa. I can't do that."

Papa sighed. "Some days are heavy, but you have to survive. Life doesn't always go the way we wanted it to be." Papa stood up, sat next to me, and hugged me. "But at the end of the day, everything is going to be alright."

"Pa..."

"Papa's here, princess. You are not running away from your problems, you're just finding the right time to solve it. You're in the midst of battling within yourself... whether to acknowledge it or leave it like that. And because you cannot leave it like that, you feel like you have to fix it without full consent from your heart," turo niya sa dibdib ko, "and mind. That's really hard." He smiled. "Take a deep breathe. Clear your mind. Be sure to widen your thoughts before acknowledging the problem. I am always here if you want to talk about it. Papa's all ears."

Suminghot ako't nagbaba ng tingin sa aking nanginginig na mga kamay. I am trembling because of how soft Papa's voice and how his words impacted me.

"Hatid niyo po ako, Pa. Mag-uusap po kami. Tapos sama po ako," parang batang ani ko. "Ako po muna. Sama po ako sa inyo."

"Of course, princess. Do you want me to drive you now? Or we could do it tomorrow?"

"Ngayon na po."

"It's getting late, and it's cold outside. Are you sure?"

Tumango ako.

"Alright. Let's go?"

Humawak ako sa braso ni Papa. An image immediately entered my mind. I remembered how clingy kind of child I was before.

"Hoy 'yong bahay niyo ha! Push 'yon hindi pull. Pinapaalala ko lang baka nakalimutan mo sa pagmumukmok mo sa taas."

Tumawa lang ako sa pahabol na sinabi ng kapatid. Pinagbuksan ako ni Papa ng pintuan at nang makapasok sa loob ng kotse ay tinanaw ko si Mama at Kyla na nasa entrada ng bahay. Nakayakap si Kyla kay Mama at pareho silang nakatingin sa amin. Papa started the engine and manuevered the car.

"You're a grown up now. I never really realized it 'til this problem with your marriage rises."

"Papa talaga! Hindi naman kasi ako palaging bata. Tignan mo nga rin si Kyla. She's a grown up now, too."

"I won't be shocked if one day she'll just barge in and introduce a guy at me and your mom. We're getting old, huh?"

"Malapit na rin ako lumagpas sa kalendaryo, Pa. Still, wala pa kayong apo sa 'kin," I chuckled.

"All I want in this lifetime is to see you and Kyla happy. That's good enough for me."

We arrived at the mansion after a couple of minutes. Papa parked outside and opened the door for me. He held my arms and guided me towards the entrance. Hindi ko na kailangan pang kumatok dahil automatic na bumukas ang pintuan. I was welcomed with neat and clean living room. Must be the maids because Kavius is allergic to dirt.

"I'll wait here. Shout if you need me," Papa whispered.

Umupo si Papa sa sofa at agad siyang dinaluhan ng mga kasambahay. As for me, I heaved a deep sigh and used the elevator to go upstairs. Mabilis akong nakarating sa itaas. Binuksan ko ang pinto at sumalubong sa akin ang magulong living room ng kwarto. The vases were everywhere and a lot of things were scattered in the carpeted floor. Nang lumingon ako sa kama ay nandoon ang asawa ko. I tiptoed and sat on the bed. There were dark circles under his eyes and his lips were pale. He's still the same but he looked so messy.

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