glitch | jack hughes (rewritten)

chapter 5

josephine lee

On the Uber back home Meredith can't seem to contain herself. She's a giggly mess going over every little thing Jack did tonight. I listen with my fist against my cheek not wanting to discuss how attentive he was with me. "It wasn't that cute, he's just a boy." I pull my legs up to my chest. Meredith shoots me a disapproving look leading into her next rampage. "He's a nice boy Josie, quit villainizing him."

I shake my head, looking away from her hoping it'll end the conversation. I'm sorry, but I don't want to throw myself headfirst into something I just came out of. It's only been two weeks since I broke things off with my ex, and it's not wrong of me to not be skipping over into Jack's arms. I'm sure he is a nice guy, but it's not what I want. 

And sure maybe we could be friends, but I know what he wants and I know what my brain is thinking. So there's no way that's possible without me overstepping my own boundaries. If he's such a nice guy, I'd hate to ruin him for any other girls. If he were to get into a relationship with me right now as I am, I'd ruin him. 

The other girls should get to have their chance with the sweet and caring Jack Hughes. 

Even if Jack did want to wait for me to be in a better place I'm afraid I still wouldn't deserve him and the idea of him waiting around for me makes me want to beg him to stop. I want to put all my red flags on the table and scream like a mad woman. Show him who I am and ask if he still wants me. Why do I always want to scare away the good ones?

"Josie." Mere calls out to me, pulling me out of my battle with my own thoughts. "You deserve to be loved the way he could love you. Just because Brendan and the ones before him were bad doesn't mean Jack needs to be." she leans in to kiss the side of my head before getting out of the car and walking to her front door. 

I didn't even notice the car had stopped moving until Mere tapped me out of the spell I was under. I don't register her words until I keep repeating them in my head. "The way he could love you." I think the sentence over and over again. Who said anything about love? Jack Hughes isn't the kind to fall in love with a girl like me. 

Have you read the tabloids?

The rest of the drive home is spent picking myself apart and wondering how it's humanly possible for anyone to love me. It's times like this when I start making myself believe that I'll never get married or have kids. I don't think that the lifestyle is for me, if it was don't you think I'd be taking steps closer towards it?

Instead, I'm drunk in the back of a car in fucking Magic Mike cosplay. "Alright, we're here." the driver says, looking at my curled-up position. I sit up, reaching deep inside my pockets to pull out three twenty-dollar bills and handing them to the driver for putting up with me so late at night. I wobble out of the car, putting in the code to my gate making sure it's fully closed before I go into my house. 

I try kicking my sneakers off but forget they're high tops and I have to loosen them up before they'll come off. So I drop to the hardwood floor and start tugging at my laces. Once both of my shoes are off I shuffle over to my medicine cabinet, searching for some Advil. I don't currently have a headache but I will, so better suit up before it hits me. 

I take the whole bottle with me as I grab a bottle of water from my fridge. I pop two into my mouth and chug the water like my life depends on it. Ugh, I hate swallowing pills. I made a face and shudder once I feel them go down my throat. I drop my water onto my nightstand, grabbing a hair tie that I left there earlier in the day. 

After washing my face and changing into some looser clothes I plop into my bed, burrowing myself underneath all the blankets. I sigh contently, loving the feeling of my cold sheets after a long night of partying. I wish I could've had enough willpower to get into the shower but I am just too tired for that.