Untamed (A mafia story)

Chapter 46

Dimitri

It was really stupid of me to get so close to her and even touch her
What was I thinking
It took everything in me not to snap and pull her closer to me

She smelt like pines and scented fruit
And I felt her tense when I touched her hand, even though she already gave me permission to.

After that day, this will be the second time I get to see her up close and see everything about her face.

I breathe out taking out another cigarette from the pack I always keep with me, I put it in between my lips and just let it hang there

This will be the third stick I'd be smoking tonight, I don't know when I got so addicted to smoking.
I wouldn't call it an addiction, it helps me relax and push thoughts of her out of my mind.

I can't be thinking about her like this
Fuck
She hates me enough as it is, I don't want to add to it by thinking about her like this
And plus, I have to think about Ivan too, he likes her, he wouldn't appreciate me thinking about her like this.

I pull out my lighter and flick it on before bringing it close to the stick and dragging it, the stick lit up and i turned off the lighter putting it back in it's place

Yes I didn't want to work with her anymore, but I wasn't exactly being honest when I said it was because it's too dangerous.

That may have been what I told her but it's not entirely true, yes it's dangerous with her being pregnant and all, but I know even if Enzo catches on that she's been helping me, he won't do anything to her, Cara won't allow it.

I really don't want her to help me because I don't know for how long I can keep pretending that she doesn't make me feel weird, that being around her doesn't mess with my head like it does.

The constant arguing, the time we always spend together even though half of it is spent with her hating me.
I can't explain how I feel whenever I'm around her but I sure as hell know that I don't like it one bit.

Maybe that is why I'm always arguing with her, because if I do she gets to hate me even more and that way I wont dwell too much on what she makes me feel.

What are you doing to me Cora?

___________________________________

"So how come you speak English this good"? She asks focusing her attention on me

I just shrug, going over the plan she seemingly drafted out, but I can tell you my mind is not even there, instead I'm focused on her

"What's that supposed to mean"? She asks mimicking my shrug "you're Russian but then you speak English so good, it's hard to tell" she says making a face

"I went to school in New York" I tell her and I see her nod mouthing an 'oh' in the process
"And even if I didn't, it doesn't mean my English would still not be as good as it is now" I tell her looking at her

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying, most people I know that aren't Americans tend to have a little bend in their English" she explain playing with the pencil In her hand

"You don't" I blurted out making me her look at me, for a few seconds she just stares at me before speaking

"And what makes you think I'm not American"? She asks raising her brows at me

"You don't look American принцесса" I tell her looking at her and I see her narrow her eyes at me

"Oh really? What do I look like then"? She asks with amusement and I give her a long hard look, analyzing her features, her perfectly shaped nose, her plump lips, her brunette hair with uneven curls at the edges, her hazel eyes.

"You look Latino to me" I mutter looking back at the piece of paper in front of me

I hear her chuckle before she speaks again making me look at her

"Your guess is pretty wild Volkov" she muttered calling me my last name, it sound hot and sexy hearing it from her, I bet she doesn't even realize she just used my last name for me

"But you're right, I'm not entirely American, my mom was Italian and Dad was from California" she says going back to arrange the puzzle she found earlier on

I didn't even know it was still here until she pulled it out when she came.
I can say she's getting really handsy with things around the house, maybe even comfortable

I took in the information nodding my head, I always knew she wasn't American anyway, maybe not completely

"So what's your Italian name"? I ask before I could stop myself, why do I even care?
I'm taking this too far

"I don't have one" she muttered not looking up at me "although I'm pretty sure if my parents gave me one, it'll be something along the lines of Aria" she said like it was a normal thing

"Why? Because you're a twin"? I asked looking at her but she just shrugged at me

"Nah, because I look more like an Aria, and plus it sounds more American ish but it's pretty Italian" she mumbled fixing the last of the puzzle before looking at me

Her hazel eyes matching the stare of my green ones, I don't look away and neither does she.
I don't want to look away, there's something about the way she looks at me that makes my senses tingles, and not in a bad way

"And what would you name your child"? I blurted out before I could stop myself, I see her shoulders tense

"Don't" she whispered out still not looking away

"Why"? I murmur

"Because I don't wanna talk about it" she whispered, I can feel her cool demeanor falter a bit

"Does he know"? I ask her referring to Ivan

"I said don't" she grits out to me her face becoming hard now

"We're gonna have to talk about it sooner or later, and I think I prefer it to be sooner" I tell her looking into her eyes, as much as I know it'll ruin the mood, we need to get it out of the way

"I don't want to talk about it ever, not with you" she mutters out blinking rapidly, I know she's trying to stop the tears from coming

"Why"? I press further and she scoffs

"Stop asking me why Dimitri, you know why" her voice breaks at the end

"Because you hate me" I state

"No because I hate what you did to me, and yes I hate you for what you did to me, it doesn't matter why you did it or if your actions were justified, even if in truth I was Cara, you had no right to do what you did to me, you took something from me Dimitri, and I don't think I can ever forgive you for that and that means I can't talk to you about this if I can't even bring myself to forgive you" she rushed out wiping the stray tear from her eyes

"What if I apologise"? I ask still looking at her and she just cut me off

"Don't, don't apologise because it's not going to change anything, it won't undo what you've done, it won't change how I see you" she says looking away from me

"And how do you see me"? I don't know why I'm asking her all this or why I'm pushing her buttons, maybe because I feel I deserve every fucked up thing she says about me, this is the most closure she can get and I'll let her have it, if it means enduring the pain in my heart to hear her tell me all this awful things.

"A monster"

I don't know why I'm updating this much today, lol

But I have like five chapters just waiting to be read, so I decided why not? 😁😁