You & I・❥・(Graham Coxon)

Somewhere, someway・❥・

---TW: eating disorder mentions and depiction---

Violet POV

"are you okay? what happened?" i try to snap myself out of my sleepy state while eyeing graham up and down. he looks tired and not okay to say the least. what is he doing at my doorstep?

he strokes his hand over his face as if to wipe off his tiredness, "you- wouldn't open the door! i- i was here all night, outside-" he explains.

"shit! i am sorry! i must've been in deep sleep...but you should've gone home when i didn't open the door!"

"i was worried about you, v i couldn't leave! my thoughts didn't let me! they were all bad-" he replies.

i fold my arms and sigh. he still hasn't let go yesterday's matters.

"what about your concert?" i ask while inviting him in. he follows behind me towards the sofa. he sits down on it before anything. i suppose he is a bit anxious today. i don't know what happened with him.

"it was yeah- okay." he replies. i can hear the uncertainty in his voice. something went wrong, didn't it?

"yeah?" i hope for him to elaborate but he doesn't.

he instead replies with this, "a lot of stuff happened- erm- no one gets along anymore but- i want to get away from all that! i want to be somewhere else" he stands up from the sofa he just sat on 2 seconds ago.

"are you coming- with me?" he puts his hand forward.

i look at him while being a bit skeptical, "where are we going?"

he sighs and gazes slightly upwards as if he's looking for the answers from the ceiling, "wherever-......our feet take us!" he replies.

this cracks me up and i place my hand on his. we take off.

-

we end up going somewhere, someway. it's quite a daze. lately i've been feeling like i am living life on auto pilot. i am here but i am not, not fully that is. i am not living life, it's just happening to me. it's out of control.

the place we are at is a private cafe of some sort, graham found it while we were walking down the street. when we were there, just out on the streets of london. it felt like paradise. we were just chatting, holding hands and kicking little rocks that came our way. 

the last thing i remember is us laughing at our own banter.

but now that we are at a food place, i am feeling panic. every part of me is alert and the voice in my head is desperately telling me ways to avoid eating here somehow. i am suppose to skip breakfast today according to my schedule.

graham's eyes are glued to a menu as he wraps his hands around a glass of booze and takes it to his lips, "graham! you said you'd try to talk to me without that next time!" i remind him and to my surprise, he does put down the glass but he doesn't let go of it fully.

this situation distracts me from my negative thoughts for a moment.

"erm-" he stutters then goes speechless.

"graham?" i wait for a respond.

after a short pause he utters, "tomorrow! please!!" he gives me a puppy face but as hard as it is, i don't let his doe brown eyes melt me.

"no graham. try it right now. just talk to me without that for 5 minutes and- you've been talking to me being sober since morning, haven't you! so this will be easy!" i try to convince him.

he sighs, "no actually-" he mumbles with guilt present in his voice.

"wait so last night you did drink- graham! you must've passed out outside my flat door, didn't you?"