You & I・❥・(Graham Coxon)

Doubtful and blue・❥・

No one's POV

these last three months haven't been smooth sailing for violet either to say the least. it's been hell. it's like being in a plane crash - watching everything around you abruptly fall to ashes with a boom or sky diving without a parachute. she feels out of control.

stuff around her is moving but she is still. it is a one way road to destruction. it's a spiral down. she can sense it. violet is sad and angry but most importantly she feels defeated. a girl who once believed in herself and her dreams becomes someone who is doubtful and blue.

her future suddenly seems dark. the way a few months back she had a vision of doing 6+movies and winning at least one award by the time she is thirty years old. well, that vision used to be right in the palm of her hands now it seems hazy and very very far away. almost unreachable.

her dreams are rapidly fading away. her manager didn't take care of the alex situation like he said he would. alex goes on to bad mouth her even more in interviews, in fact he takes a dig at violet at every chance he gets. it's evident that alex is still petty about the past rejection and he ends up saying something beyond awful about violet.

ruin her career, ruin her reputation type of awful.

it hits the nail in the coffin and violet even finds it difficult to talk about this matter, it's unimaginable for anyone to guess that alex would go this far. violet's manager immediately backs off and says he can't fix this.

liam hates her, alex hates her and her manager is useless. plus the public starts turning on violet too, starting with the newspaper publishers first. they theorize the most foul stuff about her and believe alex over her because it's more 'entertaining' that way.

violet tries to clear the air but a certain potrayal about her is being pushed and she hasn't heard anything from graham whether it's bashing her or defending her. just nothing. violet doesn't know how to feel about that.

seeing this opposition against her by the media and the public in general, one day the producer of her latest movie project arranges a meeting to tell her how she is out of the movie. his reasoning? well he says that he doesn't want the movie to get bad press because of her presence in it.

the only thing she was holding onto, the only thing keeping her sane is now gone. this makes her have an emotional breakdown. why is everything going wrong? and why can't she do anything to stop it?

she didn't have any answers to those questions and more questions she doesn't have answers to go like this 'oasis blur, oasis blur, oasis blur' that's all the media is asking her about because both the bands have released a new album a few months apart from each other. she is tired of dodging these questions and people think she is rude for it.

when the media has runs out of things to criticize her for, they turn to her weight. the only thing that's left to talk about. everyone theorizes that she has turned to comfort eating because her career is in shambles and it shows. violet believes her comforting eating and gaining weight is true but it still feels uncomfortable to have the world talk about her struggles so openly.

violet ends up firing her manager because he has proven to be useless and she thinks, she doesn't even have a career or life to be managed for.

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violet's days consist of waking up whenever she wants - or late enough to skip breakfast and lunch both. then sitting in front of the tv for the rest of the time, she doesn't bother to turn on the lights because the telly screen light is enough. it hurts her eyes but she never has the energy to get up and walk to the light switch.

evening time is sitting in the bath motionlessly time. a packet of cigarettes always helps her gets thru the day, it's almost like a crutch plus it kills her appetite too. violet avoids all sorts of media, magazines and newspaper, even more than she used to before. 

tho, she does have cut outs of awful articles about her glued to her wardrobe especially the ones about her weight because how could she forget that? it's motivating too.

night time is struggling to sleep and staring at the ceiling time. odd thing is violet believes her her life isn't that bad right now, she is doing fine. in fact she is gaining control of the situation. she believes she will turn this around.

and that's how the past three months have been for violet.

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(A/n): ik short chapter today but the next one is going to be longer and ok i am actually stopping myself from spoiling it lol. i am excited for it and you should be too!! because with the next chapter we will enter almost like the second part of this book.

don't forget to vote, it helps me out!!!!