You & I・❥・(Graham Coxon)

Confrontation・❥・

Graham POV

i eye the familiar door of violet's flat. i have made it to london and to violet's flat as well but i can't get myself to knock or ring the bell. i take a deep breath and when i check the door, it's surprisingly unlocked.

that makes it easier for me but why is her door unlocked? did she forget? what is going on with violet.... well i actually know what is going on with her and i am here to talk to her about it but i am not good with confrontations.

that's why i was avoiding ringing the door bell but deep down i know this confrontation will bring the both of us good so i force myself to walk ahead. i push open the door and i am met with the sight of violet sleeping in a sitting position on her sofa. 

the gleamy sunshine rays are pitching in from the half open window and it's shimmering against the wooden floor. it's that time of the day where the morning has passed and the afternoon is on the verge of ending. it's the middle of the day - lazy afternoon.

i walk closer to violet and she looks peaceful when she's sleeping. i know she is not okay but in the moment, she does seem so. i sit down on the sofa in a way that doesn't wake up violet and then i rest my head on her shoulders. i close my eyes and feel the drowsiness take over me.

this is not a good time to have a chat with her. i'd rather cuddle her and pretend everything is fine. what's wrong with having a moment of relief even if it's fake?

-

(time skip)

i feel commotion and with my eyes half open and gaze blurry, i see or rather sense violet moving around. i let out a yawn and hold onto her tightly but she gently escapes my embrace. she thinks i'm still asleep and doesn't want to wake me up i reckon.

i let out a groan as i realise violet has gotten up and she goes behind the sofa and into the kitchen, i suppose. i try to rub the sleep out of my eyes but it doesn't work. i was in a deep sleep state, it's going to take a while to get out of this. plus i feel a slight hangover daze from all the drinking i did back at that library.

i hear her open some cabinet, "gra, do you want to want this packet of crisps? it's the last one left."

her bringing up the topic of food jerks me out of sleep abruptly. i am fully awake now and fully listening too. why does she want me to have it if it's the last one?

i walk over to her, "v-"

i hug her from behind, "if it's the last one- why won't you have it?"

i can tell this question makes her feel uneasy and she takes a pause.

"i already ate! and i despise this flavour!!" she sounds quite defensive. i expected that and i know for a fact that she hasn't eaten anything yet, she was passed out on the sofa this whole time. she is lying.

i hug her more tightly and rest my head against hers. i have no clue if i am trying to comfort her or comfort myself. a bit of both maybe. i need this too, i need to get myself to talk to her.

violet let goes of the packet of crisps and holds onto my hands instead. i think she hates me but also trusts me at the same time. i rub my thumb on her shoulder while trying to say it. just say it! this feels like purgatory. i can't move forward and i can't go back either. this is a conundrum.

a take a breath, "v- i've noticed that erm- you don't eat like you should"

"what are you even on about, gra?" she replies almost immediately with a speck of anger in her tone.

"i read some stuff and i think you might have an eating disorder! " there. i said it.

violet breaks off the hug and goes to stand far away from me, "you are doing concerts or crashing at my flat being either drunk or being hungover! you aren't here mentally! you barely spend time with me! you barely know me! and you're accusing me of having a full on eating disorder!" she raises her voice.