What If

34

"She would never ever forgive me. She totally despise me, dad. What will I do?" Janice shriek. Shoulders trembling because of her unending sobbed.

Dad just sighed and look away. His face told everything he wants to say; our mom would surely give Janice a hard time when talking about forgiveness.

I couldn't blame her though. You wouldn't expect a mother to just easily accept that her fifteen year old daughter got pregnant. And worst of all, pregnant by a married guy. 

When I glanced at my sister she's totally wreck and a mess. Her eyes were swollen probably from too much crying. And she doesn't look like a fifteen year old girl. It's like she aged overnight.

"You have to understand her. What you did is a huge mistake." Dad muttered softly. He was always the understanding one.

"I can have an abortion." She quickly answered that i cough so hard and had to touch my throat from being lump.

She said it so casually like she just announced to us that she's going to a party.  I almost fell off from where I am standing and I could literally saw how shocked dad is.

"You want what?" Dad whimpered. Staring at my sister with big wide eyes.

"We both know I'm not yet ready, dad. And besides, I really Don't want a baby right now." She hysterically says on her famous high pitched voice. Voice that irritates me. Especially now.

"You know your not ready yet you allow this to happen. What were you thinking?" I interrupted them. Hearing her words makes me sick. She's a witch!

She rolls her eyes before answering. "You have no idea, Jenny. Your too naive and innocent about things like this so might as well, shut up. I Don't wanna hear your ranting.  I've had enough with mom.." She groan in annoyance.

My eyes almost pop out from head while looking no glaring hard at her. What did she just said?

"You are making a very big deal out of it, huh?" She scowls after seing that i stood there with eyes blazing.

"Did you hear yourself, Janice? I wish you've at least think about it before saying it way too loud." I raise a brow while staring at her.

I cringed while trying to think what had just came out from her mouth. She is totally out of herself.

"You need to stop yourself there, young lady. Abortion was not on our league. "Dad's soft yet stern voice followed. Like he himself was also thinking what's the best option to get rid of the baby.

"Why can't I, dad? I'm really actually not ready for it. And besides, mom would be furious to have a baby around. We know how she hates crying babies."she rants. Her words echoed all through our small living room.
I couldn't help myself but let out a deep groan. I'm not a religious type of person but at least I have some decency not to consider killing an unborn child.

"I..guess. so."dad softy calls out taking a very deep breath.

"Dad!"..he was just kidding right?

"Jenny, look. We shouldn't be discussing things like this now. Both of you were not yet legal and is too young. But we both know your sister was much younger than you. She's just a mere baby herself. How can she even take care of her own baby?" Dad was pacing back and forth as if he wasn't convincing me but to himself. And by the look on his face,  he is nearing to being convinced.

"I.."as I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"I..need some fresh air." I say giving up. As I immediately walks out to the door and slam it quickly.

I stop on my tracks when I noticed that I have gone too far from my "needing fresh air" excuse. I scanned my surrounding to realize I am nearing the mouth of the forested yet frosted trees that leads to the thick woods. I sat on a log nearby and began tugging at the strands of my loose and tangled hair out of frustration. I wanted to tell dad that he must not tolerate Janice so she will realize what a fool she is. And I also wanted to smack Janice to the head so she will soon wake up from her craziness.

But I know also that those things were just so damn hard to do. Not that I can not do it, but I am just so afraid to do it. Well, for the sake of mom and dad I guess.
I Don't know Why I'm so furious now. So what if they want to get rid of that baby? It's not like I'm the affected person. But the fact that they were just tolerating Janice makes me disgust so much. Like she's just the only daughter around.Even if that said actions were quite terrible and awful.