Love Of Swans | Jikook ✓

18. I'm Trying, My Love

They both entered their home. Though it had only been just a few days, the smaller felt like it had been an eternity since he had been trapped there.

It was refreshing for the both of them to move in together again. But Jungkook kept an eye on Jimin, trying to be careful about his actions.

"I—" Jungkook stopped as his eyes met the smaller's. Jimin seemed happier than a while ago. His eyes were glistening with tears a bit, but he had a dainty smile on. "Oh Jimin," that's what left the taller's mouth before he embraced him, wrapping his arms around Jimin's waist with a firm hold. Jungkook sighed in relief, which just proved that there's still a hope of the smaller getting better.

Jimin, in return, hugged the taller back. He didn't speak, but snuggled his face onto the taller's neck. If not lying, he felt better. Maybe he would be able to forget what had happened when Jungkook was with him? And at the end of the day, Jungkook was his other half.

Pulling back with the most delightful smile, Jungkook said, "I am not sure when you'll be in the position to speak up, but I'll always be here when you need me, alright?"

Jimin nodded, smiling back.

"I'm just gonna go make some food for us. You should go freshen up," the taller suggested, moving towards the kitchen. After all, Jimin didn't get to enjoy his favorite food before, so he should at least have something appetizing rather than the hospital food, right?

Jimin walked towards their shared room at a slow pace. But he stopped right in front of the door.

He remembered how both of them bought so much stuff for their unborn child before that incident happened. He recalled how giggly Jungkook looked while opening this door for them to enter after returning home. Jungkook didn't even used to let the smaller open the door himself, for he was so worried.

'No, Jimin! Jungkook will get sad to see you like this,' he consoled himself, trying not break down. Even these little tasks were getting difficult for him. 'It's pathetic,' he thought.

He tried to shrugg those thoughts off, twisting the door knob open, entering. The comforting aura of their room reached him. Oh, how he missed to be in the taller's arm during sleep rather than the dull hospital bed.

But... he stopped on his tracks as he looked at the stuffed toys and the crib they brought for their baby. In fact, their whole room was filled with items they brought for their baby.

Without a question, he felt like crying. He hadn't cried since the moment he woke up in that hospital bed. He had been keeping it in, all within himself.

Everything reminded him of how happy they were to become new parents. How Jungkook worked so hard to be a good father for their child.... but it all ended in just a blink of eye. Those hopeful dreams, those cheerful smiles, everything were shattered.

'I don't deserve to be happy, do I?' Jimin's expressionless eyes remained fixed at the picture that was framed of them together. The picture was taken on the day when Jungkook got to know about the smaller's pregnancy. 'I should've tried harder to save our child.'

Those hurtful thoughts he wished to never come back, appeared again into his mind. He found no way to get out of that trauma.

Who would tell the smaller that it had to take him a lot of time to recover? It was not a small incident, in fact.

He stood there numb, blaming himself for everything that had happened.

'I don't... I shouldn't be happy.'

I'm not sure about when the next update will be, but trust me, I'll surely finish this book!
💛

Also, JIMINNNNN !