The End of Days

[4]

"I'm trans." Those weren't words Liam could just say and be done for the rest of his life, never to be considred again.

As normal as he tried to be, as much as he wanted to live his life it was always a shameful aspect of himself he was forced to reveal. Sooner or later, people came to know the truth. And things hadn't always worked out in the end.

"Im a boy." That was in preschool. He was playing with this kid, waiting to get picked up by his parents. This girl had been playing blocks with him or something of the sort. She might have mentioned playing dolls with her which was how it had started.

It just kind of came out of nowhere. It was just what it was. Like saying he was dark or he had a big head of curls or he had 10 fingers and 10 toes. Nothing seemed wrong about it at the time.

"Im more of a tomboy." That was his catchphrase growing up. His mom didnt force him into things he wasnt comfortable with although she did try to get through to him.

Girls asked at school why he dressed like their brothers and if he was really just a guy with long hair. Then middle school came around and things began to hit home more then ever when guys refused to be friends and girls chose to ignore his presance.

"I think Im a guy." That was his 11th birthday maybe. The night before he found blood when..well, yeah. That was the worst moment of his life. The next day he couldnt keep it in anymore.

His parents were sat down at the table, cake all lit up with his name splayed out in soft pink and white piping. He cried so damn much. Mom cried, Dad left. It was hard.

The next day he got to skip school again but not for another suprise birthday outing. He spoke to a lady in a comfy chair with a clipored and pinned up hair. She was very nice. It helped.

Things got easier. Eventually. After lots of waiting and lots of anger. People heard him, his mom most of all. Despite dads beliefs, she had his back the whole way. Liam dressed how he pleased, played whatever sports he pleased, he grew broader and his hair got shorter and everything slowly fell into place. Shots came and he was set.

No more being trans, no more therapy. He could finally be just him; Liam Smith, the tall black dude from varsity basketball, that asshole obsessed with the hoddies? When people asked about him, that's what he expected to be said. Cause that was kinda him.

Then he had friends, he began to date. Or be into dudes at least, finding gays at school that didn't freak him out was a task in itself. Long lost church buddies bumpted into him after years and there was the whole experiance of 'but you were a girl'.

"Im transgender. So.." Jack stared, not seeming to process for several moments.

That had been the last time he'd said the words. They'd been doing whatever it was they were doing for a couple months. On and off occurances outside of basketball practice which they'd been on the team together for a few seasons already and respected eachother as teammates well enough.

Things had started up one day, in the weight room of all places. Someone needed a spot, they got to talking. By the end, they'd been drenched in sweat and chatting as the class was dismissed for lunch.

They were close and it just happened. Then it kept happening every once in a while. They didn't talk much but they didnt need to.

Those last 2 weeks before the outbreak, before everything had gone to shit? It was weird. "Lets hang." thats what it had been. Jack wanted to see a movie. It was the closest they'd ever gotten to a date and although Liam hadn't refered to it as such, it suprised him a bit.

He accepted. And they laughed, not a rediculous amount or anything but it was nice. Then they milled around the theater, messing with claw machines and taking pictures but the whole time they tried to get the machine to capture nudes they'd pulled up on their phones. From the internet obviously. It worked and they couldnt have been more pleased.

That night when Jack was dropping him off is when they'd kissed. It was a peck almost but it lingered. They were both pretty stoic kind of guys, intimacy was near impossible. But the dark helped and Liam found himself not wanting to leave. He did but it hadn't been the last time something like that happened.

"I gotta meet up with Deon and some of the boys for lunch, I should go." That was his response to those magical fucking words Liam loved so much.

He got it. Jack had an idea about him and he'd been wrong. Although that idea was Liam's own reality, Jack would think whatever he would and it was okay. It was cool while it lasted. He told himself that, sitting on the weight bench where they'd been huddled, holding hands. It was his right to go.

He turned on some Samm Henshaw, losing himself in the smooth melodies as he left the school. He usually stayed after with the art teacher who allowed him an hour on the light machines as he worked on his project. Just a bit of drawing, that was all. Probably the softest thing he did which he tried not to tell people about.

"Hey." Liam flinched back at the breath that hit his neck. He tugged the earbuds out, staring at Jack like he was insane.

The fool had been trying to grab his attention apperantly but he hadn't heard. He looked arond to the empty cement bench some yards from the front doors where he guessed the guy'd been waiting.

"Uh, sup?" He spoke casually, tucking away the music. Jack didnt wait around which wasn't unusual. Neither of them had much to say most of the time. The lips met his, both their hands tucked away in their baggy workout sweats.

He looked around instinctively for people. They'd never done stuff like that in public before. Wether or not it was an issue for either of them personally, they just hadn't been the type to flaunt that sort of stuff around. Though the look on Jack's face said it hadn't even crossed his mind.

He struggled with his words for a moment, cosideering himself. "Ill see you tomorrow." Jack spoke finally, tapping at Liam's arm before walking off. That was his answer. 4 hours of processing and then achnowledgment and..everything was just back to the way it used to be. Liam went home that night content.

It was all downhill from there.