Falling for Novogratz

Chapter 8

I walk over to the stove and look at the mess. I grab the countertop and close my eyes, inhaling deeply, trying to clear my head. Oh how I wanted to kiss him. Hell, I wanted to jump his bones. I exhale slowly, trying to catch my breath.

As I seem to have regained normal function of my lungs, I open my eyes and start cleaning the tomato sauce that flew everywhere. As I take out a new pot to make the chicken pesto sauce, I hear the door to the storage room open. I do my best to ignore Wolfgang who's walking out, readjusting his pants and his hair. I hear him exiting the kitchen and walk to the living room.

It pains me to just ignore him, but I think it's for the best to not take this anywhere else than friendship. I start cutting up the chicken as I sautée the garlic in butter. Once the garlic is properly cooked, I add the chicken and stir absentmindedly thinking about my hot storage closet episode with Wolfgang just a few moments ago.

Nothing ACTUALLY happened, but the slightest touch, and closeness of his body with mine is.. Too much to handle. And of course he had to find one of my sweet spots, damn it, I'm fucked.

Once the chicken is cooked through, I add the green pesto, the culinary cream and let it simmer slowly. I clean the countertop and kitchen isle lost in my thoughts, trying to make sense of everything that happened today.

It makes no sense whatsoever that Wolfgang would be interested in me romantically speaking. We only met THIS MORNING for God's sake. I can admit that I feel a certain attraction to him, but it's just unrealistic. Me and him would never work. We come from different worlds altogether.

" Séverine?" I snap out of my mind purge cleaning.

" Oui?" (Yes?) I look up to find Clara standing in the doorway.

" ça te dérangerait si je rentrerais dans la cuisine?" ( Would it bother you if I entered the kitchen?)

I shake my head, I don't have a lot of preparing to do anymore, so I'm good.

" Non, non, vas-y, rentres." ( No, no, come on in.)

She looks sideways behind her, I suppose to the living room. And looks back at me before stepping into the kitchen. I put the washcloth away as every surface I used and am not using anymore, is cleaned.

I turn around to face Clara. " Je peux t'aider avec quelque chose?" (Can I help you with something?)

" Je pense bien." ( I think so.) She starts off.

I nod, encouraging her to continue.

" Qu'est-ce qu'il s'est passé avec Wolfie?" ( What happened with Wolfie?)

I sigh out loud, not sure how to formulate what we did or went through, and quite frankly not even sure if I should tell her.

" Je ne vois pas du tout de quoi tu veux parler." ( I don't see what you want to talk about.) I try denying anything, looking into her brown eyes.

I turn around and stir in the chicken pesto sauce.

" Il s'est clairement passé quelque chose. Wolfgang est revenu totalement chamboulé après t'avoir aidé pour tes vêtements." ( Something clearly went on. Wolfgang came back totally upset after helping you with your clothes.)

" ça n'as pas d'importance, il ne se passeras rien entre lui et moi. Je lui ai dis à plusieures reprises. Il le sait. ( It doesn't matter, nothing will be happening between me and him. I've told him multiple times. He knows it.)

I turn the stove off and sigh. I turn around to face her, because I can feel that I won't be able to avoid that conversation.

" Alors, ne me comprends pas mal. Le mec est mignon, charmant, sympa, tout ce que tu veux, mais c'est juste pas réaliste. On vient de se rencontrer ce matin. Et je viens de sortir d'une relation de plus de neuf ans. Clairement je suis attirée par lui, je serais aveugle de ne pas voire qui j'ai en face de moi et le mec arrives à calmer mes crises d'angoisse comme personne d'autre. Mais je ne suis pas prête, et comme je disais, c'est pas réaliste, on vient de mondes trop différents. Il est acteur, modèle tout ça, moi je suis, bah moi quoi. Jamais de la vie quelqu'un comme lui finirait avec quelqu'un comme moi. Puis j'ai trop de baggage de toute façon. " ( So, don't get me wrong. The guy is cute, charming, nice, everything you want, but it's just not realistic. We just met this morning. And I just came out of a realtionship of more than nine years. Obviously I'm attracted to him, I'd be blind to not see who I have standing in front of me and the guy can calm my anxiety attacks like no other. But I'm not ready, and like I said, it's not réalistic, we come from too much different worlds. He's an actor, model all of that, me I'm just, well me. Never in this lifetime would someone like him end up with someone like me. And I have too much baggage anyway.) I look at her in defeat.