My six amazing brothers

Chapter 19

I sat in the back seat of Drew's car, my leg was shaking and we listened to some really boring shit on the radio.

"You know" Drew started. I knew I fucked up, all I could think of was how much of a mistake I was. My brothers probably hates me, my dad already hates me, Syd is probably disappointed and now Logan also hates me. Like why did I act like that? Not that I care about him, well I do, no I don't.

I looked up from my seat to the rear mirror and looked Drew in the eyes.

"You're really lucky that you're hurt right now, 'cause you really have a nerve lying to us like that" his hands gripped the steering wheel harder.

"Yeah, what the hell where you thinking?!" Leo asked shaking his head "Who knows what could have happened to you, someone could have drugged you or take advantage of you!"

"Yeah I know" I said quietly. I felt so guilty and my whole body was hurting, my arms felt numb and my head was pounding.

"No, no you don't know! If you did nothing of this would have happened Baby!"

"Yeah then I'm sorry for being stupid!" I yelled back.

"Can you both just shut up!" Drew slammed his hands against the steering wheel.

I couldn't stand listening to their bullshit anymore so I tried to ignore them. My hands started to shake a little and I blinked away a few tears. The only time anyone had seen me cry was when my mom died, I've never cried so much ever and now I don't cry in front of people. I just can't.

Finally we got home and the first thing I saw was Syd standing in front of our house with tear stained cheeks. She ran towards the car and I opened the door and did my best to get out without showing any signs of pain. Suddenly I was met by a bone crushing hug.

"I was so worried Lynn" Like I said, she's a few inches taller than me so she had her chin on the top of my head and my face was buried in her neck.

I relaxed in her arms and I felt the tears welling in my eyes.

"I love you" I mumbled and hugged her a little tighter. Usually I don't like hugs but I knew that this was the last moment in peace before hell breaks loose and I get inside.

Syd slowly stroked my hair. "I love you too" she kissed my head.

I looked over her shoulder and saw all of my other brothers standing there, all of them with the same expression, well except Liam. He looked like he had been crying for years, his eyes were red and puffy and I could even see it from where I stood.

Syd let go of me and held my shoulders "I need to go now but promise you will call me later, okay?"

I looked up at her eyes and pressed my lips together in a little smile and nodded.

We said our goodbye and then I stood there, alone just waiting for something to happen.

"Can you please come here?" Noah said in a much kind voice which really surprised me.

I walked up to them and the first thing that happened was that Liam tackled me into a hug.

"You're such an idiot you know that" he chuckled a little.

"Yeah, yeah. I know" I held my tears back and laughed a little.

After a few minutes I finally got inside, just like I imagined, dad stood there.

My body froze and everything started spinning, but I couldn't show him that I was scared. No one could see that I was scared, I had to pretend.

"Come on" his harsh voice said.

I tensed, and swallowed loudly.

"Now!" He grabbed my arm.

"Wait! Dad, calm down a little okay" Drew said behind me. He must have seen the way he had hatred in his eyes and how hard his grip was.

"I will just have a little talk with her, right honey" he grabbed me harder and I whined out a little noise.

————

A talk...

That wasn't just a talk...

My ribs are even more painful now and I got bruises all over my back and stomach.

I laid down on my bed with my head in my pillow, no one had checked up on me because I heard dad tell them that I needed to rest. I just felt numb, nothing matters anymore. My own dad hates me so of course that means that it's something wrong with me.

-Trigger warning! ⚠️ SH, if you don't feel comfortable by reading skip!<3

Suddenly I remember the razor blades I have hidden in my nightstand. I've never done anything with them before but I've thought about it.

I rolled over and opened the nightstand, I took up one blade and sat up on my bed. At first I just stared at it, I can't do it someone will definitely see it.

You have to

Do it

I can't do it on my wrist

I sat there thinking of any place where it wouldn't be so visible, then it hit me. My ankle! I always wear high socks so no one will see it unless I take my socks off.

I dragged my pants up and took my right sock off, I quickly took the blade and pressed it against my skin. Slowly I dragged it along my ankle.

You deserve it

You are worthless

No one likes you

You are disgusting

All these thoughts flashed through my mind and suddenly there weren't any space left. Blood everywhere...

"Shit" I whispered to myself, I panicked and took my sock and wrapped it around my ankle. Then I pulled the leg of my pants down again and sprinted to the bathroom.

I locked the door and opened the cupboard where we have bandaids and other first aid items. Once I had everything I needed I looked down and saw my once white sock now red.

I turned the shower on and threw the sock away wrapped in toilet paper because no one could see this ever.

My mind was just spinning and I couldn't even think straight anymore. Everything was just a mess and I needed to fix it. I took my right foot and placed it on the shower floor. The water washed the blood off and the floor turned red, I saw how it went down the drain.

After about 10 minutes the bleeding stopped, I took a towel and started to dry my ankle before I wrapped a bandaid around it. It stung a bit but it wasn't that bad, I could handle it.

Now you can read again love!🫶

I got back to my room and I flopped down on my bed and fell asleep in a second.

___________________

Hey! I'm sorry for a short chapter guys but next one will be longer I promise!

Also, always remember that you are perfect and you deserves the best and you are loved!🫶

Thank you so much for 2k reads! I hope you all like this book so far. There will be more of the Rhodes siblings soon!<3

Please vote and comment it would be really appreciated! Love you!!