HER

The Last Break Up

After that incident our relationship seems to get stronger. Due to the pandemic we were forced to go home to my hometown. You're living with me. I am the only one who's working because I want you to focus on your application. I was there for you, during the application, processing documents, processing government I.D's.

April 12, 2021
I introduced you to my bestfriends.
We hanged out often due to busy schedules.
Months passed by, we kept on hanging out with them.

Dec. 25, 2022.
I was broken hearted because I heard a rumor about you and my bestfriend. I don't want to listen to that rumor but my other friend sent me a recordings of you and my bestfriend. Turns out it's all true. It's so painful! For all people, my bestfriend!

I was so devastated. After hearing both of your sides I come up to the only solution. I broke up with you and forgiven you for your mistake. I also forgive my bestfriend. But sometimes it kept on visiting me. What happened to both of you, I can picture it out in my mind. It's very painful.

You asked me to get back together but I told you that I cant. You said you'll start from the scratch just to earn my trust again. I let you shoot your chance.
I let you courted me again.

We're trying to build our relationship again.
It's been months already. We never get back together but we're trying to build our relationship. You tried to gain my trust for many months.

October 21, 2023. I felt uneasy, I tried to open your messenger (from the moment we got back together last 2018, I rarely open your account for privacy. 2022, I don't know your phone's passcode and even your gmail password. PRIVACY right?)

When I logged on your account, a message that made my eyes widened opened before me.
I was shaking as I read the message.

I remember this girl, when I opened your messenger  few months ago I saw your conversations with her but it's all about the application process. I checked her account and told my self. "She will like this girl. She's got everything that she likes. She's skinny, fair skin, nice smile and feilen eye, and a sharp nose.

Back to October 21, 2023
I read your conversation but all I can see is the girls response, then after a few seconds it disappeared.
Then her account pop up again. But I never saw your response.

Secret conversations! Fuck! I can't focus on my work. My body is trembling. We were living together but O don't have the courage to confront you that's why I just sent you a message. I'm hesitant to do this but I ended up doing it.

See how you reacted? Fuck. I want to hate you. I honestly do. But I can't. I still try to be calm. After what I found out.

This time I gave up. I already gave up. There's no point of going mad about it, there's no point on continuing our relationship together.

Comeon! We both know you that you confess because you were caught.

After this conversation you came to me. Crying, begging for forgiveness. I looked at you blankly. I just stare at you. Then I stared at the ceiling. Trying to process everything. It hurts. All our dreams and plans for our future were shattered.

I confronted you. I told you that we need to stop this. That you can do whatever you want. I won't stop you. You can leave if you wanted to and I won't stop you. I don't want to force you to get out of my house. I gave you the chance or the freedom to do that. If you wished to stay then you can, if you wished to get out then you can. But I'm done trying to win you, trying to please you. This time I chose myself.

October 23, 2023. I was already asleep and was awaken when you came home from your PNP application.
I did not talked to you. Then you lay beside me and started a conversation.
I just listen to everything that you said. While I was listening to you, I can feel the inside of my body shaking/trembling. I looked at my thumb and it's making a small vibrations. My heart beats too fast, I can't understand what I'm feeling. You did not even know what I'm feeling right now. You're busy talking to me about the girl. How can you stay so calm talking to me about the OTHER GIRL? You said you wanted to pursue the girl, you already confessed to her in person.
Then as I listened to all those words that comes out from your mouth, I can feel my heart beating really fast, my jaw is starting to clinched, my muscles are trembling. I felt cold. Then I stopped you from talking. "Take me to ER" that's just what I said. You called my brother to get an ambulance, you and my sister kept on pressing my feet because the nails are starting to change color. From normal color to dark color (black) and my feet are  very cold no matter how much you pressed it.
Then the ambulance came. I was rushed to the hospital that night. I was admitted.