leather jacket::malum/muke {COMPLETED}

3.2

A/N: double update!

the next morning, michael stood at the kitchen counter, leaning on it in thought. he didn't want to know how calum would react when he heard the news. but the other boy also had bad news. it kept him awake for several hours before he finally fell asleep.

he had gotten two hours of sleep, waking up at six am and had been up since then. oddly, he wasn't tired, but exhaustion lingered in the back of his mind. michael couldn't stop thinking about what calum had said.

what could he possible have done?

as if he were cued, calum stumbled sleepily out of their bedroom, running a hand through his flat, messy bed hair. nausea rose in michael's throat. he didn't want to do this.

"hey babe" calum said, his voice deep with sleep. michael still found it very attractive, despite everything running through his mind. he put a hand behind michael's neck and pulled him into a kiss.

michael's heart fluttered for a single moment and then he kissed back, wondering how he went so long without his beautiful boyfriend.

he could tell they were both savoring the moment, reluctant to speak about what had been hanging in the air since michael came home last night.

finally, michael pulled away, "cal we need to-"

"shh" he whispered, "just a few more minutes, please."

calum kissed him again, this time backing michael up into the chair and creeping his hands up his shirt. eager for just another few minutes with his boyfriend, michael slipped his tongue into the boy's mouth, earning a soft groan.

pulling away, calum's lips reattached to his neck, all traces of caution were gone, replaced by eagerness and an intense passion michael longed for.

"calum, baby" michael moaned softly, "we need to talk about this."

"not now, please" calum shook his head, "if this talk is going to tear us apart, i just want to spend the last few minutes making love to my fucking gorgeous boyfriend while he's still mine."

suddenly, calum started to palm michael through his jeans. "fuck" michael groaned, "fine, shit."

the other boy smirked and took his hand, leading him back to their bedroom. thankfully, their bed hadn't been made yet.

lifting his shirt over his head, michael leaned over calum, who laid on his back, looking back up at him.

"i love you so much" he whispered, bringing michael's lips back to his.

"i love you too" michael pulled away, tugging calum's shirt up. the boy suddenly stopped, gripping michael's wrists.

"no, i-i change my mind, i don't want to do this," he said, "please don't."

"i know you're insecure about your body" michael sighed, "but i fucking love it, don't be afraid to show me."

calum didn't move when michael removed the sweater. it had gotten cold last night because they forgot to turn off the air conditioner.

he tossed it to the side and turned back to the brown-haired boy.

and then he froze completely.

"no" his heart fell and he struggled to not choke on his words, "not you too. please tell me this is a joke and that i'm-"

"no mikey" calum looked away, "i'm sorry."

"no- fuck!" michael yelled, backing up and pulling at his hair. "this isn't supposed to happen anymore!" he cried out, tears in his green eyes.

"mike-" calum croaked.

"why did you do it?" michael slid down the wall and looked over at him. "why?"

"because i hated pretending like i was okay. i know you love luke but to me that is not okay. i know that one day you're going to leave me because of him and it's going to fucking tear me apart but can't you just love me in the moment, right now? i know it hurts but you can't drag me into this. i never wanted to be part of any of this."

"you didn't have to."

"yes i did damnit!" he yelled, standing up. "i did because i could fucking feel myself falling in love with you, and now i have and we're supposed to be helping each other get better but all you're doing is tearing me down while you tear yourself down. i hate fucking seeing you like this mike. you'd rather turn to alcohol and partying than to turn to me and somewhere in the weeks you've been gone i realized that that's not okay and if i'm not enough for you then what's the point? what's the point in letting someone in when they don't let me in?" he was crying now, and god damn it hurt him so much to see him like that.

"there's nothing wrong with you calum!" michael shouted, anger filling his veins. he stood back up. "you had made some bad fucking decisions in the past and you got kicked out for it but you still have fucking everything! you are fucking okay mentally and physically! if you wanted to fucking leave, you should've left ages ago! i can't be in love with a boy who can't handle my fucking problems any longer, and maybe that's why i'm sticking around for luke, because we can handle each other's problems. he was always there for me, and you turn me away like i'm fucking garbage."

"i know that i'm a damn alcoholic but i at least know that i'm fucking worth more than that. it fucking hurts like hell to see that you think the only thing you can do is hurt yourself. trust me, i've been down that same exact path and one day you're going to realize that what you're doing is temporary. you can hide from your pain, but sooner or later you're going to have to face it."

"you know" calum said shakily, "when i fell in love with you, i thought i found my happily ever after." he shook his head in disappointment, "but now i know that the only happily ever after i'll get is when i'm dead and far away from the ghost i used to love."

he left it at that and stormed away. a few seconds later, the front door slammed shut, and another part of michael had dissipated.

A/N: i was gonna say 'btw calum self-harmed bc i forgot i actually put what he did oops

stay alive |-/