leather jacket::malum/muke {COMPLETED}

deleted scene

A/N: this was set to take place a few chapters after 3.9 and was supposed to be part of the initial ending before i decided to change it

"michael, you're not you anymore!" luke yelled, and it hurt him to admit it. tears rolled down his face with guilt and sadness.

"what the fuck do you mean?" michael's voice got quiet, surprised by his outburst and shocked by what he had said.

"i mean-" the blonde pulls on his hair frustratedly, pacing back and forth. he didn't know how to word it so that it wouldn't hurt him, but he just didn't know how. so he turned to face michael with a sigh, "i mean that you were so different before i met you. i changed you, and i hate that. it hurts me that i made you someone you're not."

michael's face fell at his words. he took it in as the air between them thickened with tension. luke was shaking with silent sobs and anxiety because they had never fought to this extent. on the other hand, michael was completely frozen. his eyes were cast low, to the gray carpet the dog had peed on. that's what started this fight in the first place. a stupid, pointless argument had turned into so much more.

"i-i'm sorry luke" he said shakily. his gaze trailer upwards to his boyfriend's face. even though his eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks were red and streaked with tears, he was still luke. he was still so damn beautiful. tears were ugly, normally filled with pain that people could no longer endure.

luke shook his head, "i don't want sorry, michael. that's not good enough. i don't want an apology or make-up sex or a romantic date, nothing will help. nothing will fix this."

when he moved towards the door to leave, michael shook his head, "no no no. don't leave luke, please don't leave." now, tears fell down his face at the possibility of the love of his life walking out the door. the possibility of him never coming back, because he didn't live here. he still lived with his parents because he couldn't afford a place for himself. michael hadn't asked him to move in yet. yet.

luke swallowed thickly, "i need time. i need to get out of this town because it has so many bad memories that i hate re-living and you're a walking reminder of my mistakes, and my illness. i don't want to be reminded of it."

michael's eyes burned and his heart ached when he said that. how could he think that? had he been thinking this all along and kept it to himself?

"fine" michael's voice got louder, though you could still hear the cracks in it. "leave. do whatever the fuck you want, i don't care anymore. i have waited years and years for you to fucking come back so we can actually have a life together, but if you wanted to leave you should've just said something instead of feeding me a bunch of bullshit."

"asshole" michael spat, pushing past luke and running up the stairs to the confines of his room.

luke choked, suddenly wishing he hadn't started the argument in the first place. but michael needed to hear the truth.

"yeah, run back to fucking paisley. oh wait- she's dead because of you!" luke screamed up at him, angry and frustrated. he knew he shouldn't have said that. he shouldn't have gone that far; even without looking at michael he knew that he hurt him.

michael was shocked by luke, sitting up against the wall next to the bedroom door. he had heard the boy's words perfectly. he had gone too far now. even with tears still streaking down his face, he pushed himself up and rushed back downstairs.

he furiously walked up to luke and slammed him against the wall, making luke wince in pain. it was nothing like the pain he was about to feel when michael was done.

michael grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and held him against the wall, "don't. ever. fucking. say. that. again."

luke grabbed on to his wrists, "please just let me go."

"you fucking dick!" michael yelled in his face, "how the fuck could you say that? i used to think you were the best fucking person ever." he shook his head in disappointment. "but you're just an asshole like everyone else. i'm starting to regret my decision to leave calum because at least he didn't treat me like complete trash."

"you think you're so good, huh? you're no better than everyone else and you need to get that through that sick fucking brain of yours. you want to play dirty? fine. at least i don't still live with my fucking mom and i don't hear voices and see people that aren't there! i'm normal, unlike you."

"and i hope to hell that you get the fuck out of my life because after all the shit i've been through for you, i don't deserve this. i deserve to much more than a piece of shit mommy's boy who thinks he's a badass" he spat in luke's face and shoved him one more time before roughly letting go. his heart bled with the words he said, but he couldn't give up now. he had to put on a strong face and show luke that this didn't hurt him as much as it did.

luke slumped back against the wall and said, "just remember that i didn't make you stay and wait, you did it by choice."

michael didn't reply, he was too choked up to answer. he left luke to show himself out and climbed into the comfort of his bed, tears trailing down his face.

he wasn't the same person he was several years ago. he had been through so much shit, had so many problems piled up on top of him. he became an alcoholic, and it fucked him up. and if luke couldn't accept that, then fine. michael could live without him, even if he was miserable at best.

but when he heard the door slam closed, it hurt just as much as the first time he left.

though, this time luke wouldn't be coming back.