She's My Constant

College Friends and Feelings

The world maybe cruel, most times it challenges your faith, your morals and beliefs. Society is not helping either, always quick to judge without considering that they may also be wrong, no matter how I explain where I am coming from, they can't understand the purpose, the meaning and the need for retribution that I have nurtured all this time. 

Nobody understands, but then I do not need anyone to understand. I am just a girl waiting to avenge what was done to my life, I am merely trying to find myself and picking up after my life that fell apart. That eventful night which changed me forever and has haunted me for a decade now, I can still remember it like it was just yesterday, that nightmare that sparked the change.  

10 years ago:

I've been watching her out of the corner of my eye, she's the Queen bee of our College three agonizing years, she barely knows my existence and have never paid attention towards me, save for times when we actually had to be group mates for a project or a report or maybe partners on activities in classes. 

Here we are at the school's cafeteria, she was seated two tables away from where I sat with my best friend Brian. "Stop staring at her man, you're being a creep." 

Brian whispered as we ate lunch 

"I can't help it man, look at her, she's gorgeous, she's smart."

"Yes and she's Eve, Eve Jimenez our school's 'Queen Bee', she's too good for anyone, will you just look at her and who she hangs with? You don't stand a chance man." 

I smiled and shook my head and continued to eat, before the day ended I made a plan to step up my game, though Eve was Queen Bee of the school, she's a smart girl and a great student. 

I know she likes art and reading as well as writing, I am the literary editor of the school's paper and I am set to stepping up my game, over the next few weeks, I set out to be as close as I could get to Eve, as if the heavens are conspiring with my plans, we were assigned as partners for our literature class, we were going to give each other's favorite literary piece an analysis, after the teacher explained the mechanics of the project and assigned the partners, the teacher allowed us to talk with our partners and plan our next steps for the project. 

I approached Eve's seat and I sat next to her. "Hi." I said 

"Hello Destiny, so shall we go start with this project? My favorite poem is Pablo Neruda's If you forget me, what's yours?" She smiled at me, I shook my head and smiled 

"I didn't expect you'd remember me, that's nice. My favorite poem is Edgar Allan Poe's A Valentine." 

"I do, I remember we've been classmates, every once in awhile we've been partnered for class activities, you're literary editor of the school paper." 

She said matter of factly "All right, that's cool, so how should we start?" 

she smiled and said 

"First, how do you feel about the poem? Why do you like it?" 

I looked straight into her eyes and began to speak 

"It reminds me of this person who I have feelings for, I relate to it as if I have written the verses myself." 

"Hmmm... Intense. Which line strikes you the most?" 

again I looked her straight in the eye, I was mesmerized by the beauty of her eyes and after a few moments, realizing that she was also looking at me and waiting for me to say something, I started to speak, with feelings and certainty