Five Years

7

I had a few hours to chill out before we headed to dinner. I spent that time writing and watching a little tv. My alarm went off and I started up some music. Time to get ready. I got into the shower trying to make it quick. After the shower I got my outfit on. It was a dark green sweater top with a long cream skirt. I kept my hair down and curled, touched up my makeup, and added a few pieces of jewelry. I put my phone in my purse after texting Abby that I was heading down and I looked in the mirror one last time. I looked at my breath as I closed the door behind me. I was going to see him again and I was not going to have another panic attack. Aunt K texted me as I was getting ready and asked if we wanted to go down together. I let her know to go down first and I am realizing that is a mistake. The elevator was closing and although I could have gotten a new one, I didn't feel the need to wait. I was already cutting it close.

"Hold the elevator!" I called.

The person in did not hold the elevator and so I almost missed it. Luckily I made it in on time and as I was going to press the button I realized that whoever was in here was going to the same floor.

"I almost missed it, thanks for holding it." I said with sarcasm.

I shouldn't have, it wasn't the nicest thing but it was too late now.

"I didn't think it was going to be the best idea." He said quietly.

I froze up. No no no. Are you kidding me! He sounded just slightly different but I knew that was James. No panic attack. No. I take long deep breaths and focus on my breathing as I hold out my shaking hands. I look down and they are not shaking. I turned around and there he was. He was wearing dark gray suit pants and a nice light blue button up shirt. His shoes were black to match the black belt. No smile on either of our faces.

"425." Was all he said.

It took me a minute to figure out he was talking about but then I realized that was his room number. Two rooms down from me.

"Hi." Was all I said.

Hi? Hi! And it's not like I said it with sarcasm or anger. No, I said it with a quiet, kind voice. Are you kidding me?! After everything?! I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm furious, and I'm upset. James brows furrowed just slightly, he was just as confused as I was. I heard the elevator ding, good. If it was good then why wasn't I moving? The doors were open and we had to go but I didn't move and neither did he. This time I hoped he didn't move. I needed to be the first one. We stared at each other for a few more minutes before he opened his mouth to talk. No. He doesn't get to talk to me. I quickly turned around and quickly walked to the table. I stopped at the door to take a breath and to calm myself. My hands started to shake again and no way was I going to have a panic attack right now. I had to move now. I took another breath and kept listening to my breath as I walked to the table. There was a seat open next to Aunt K so I quickly took it. I sat down and looked at my hands. No shaking. Good.

"Don't you look gorgeous." Aunt K commented.

"Not as beautiful as you and the bride to be." I said as I lightly elbowed Abby on the side. She was on the other side of me.

"Stop it." Abby said.

"Who are we missing?" Abby asked when she saw the last open chair across from me.

I didn't hear it but I knew what Josh was saying. He was whispering in her ear and his eyes darted to me. Aka meaning "James." was his response. Speaking of, James sat down at the empty chair. I could feel Abby and Aunt K's eyes on me so I quickly stopped staring at James and instead turned to them.

"So..." I started but got interrupted by a waiter. A cute waiter...

He took our drink orders and left.

"You are shameless." Aunt K whispered to me.

"What?" I was confused.

"You were watching him." Abby added.

"Who?" I was still confused.

"The cute waiter." Aunt K explained.

"What? I was not." I tried.

"Oh yeah? I think you got a little drool right there." Abby said as she pointed to my bottom lip.

"Stop. He was cute, that's it." I was praying for a miracle to get me out of this and now.

"See." Aunt K pushed.

"You both suck." Thank the Lord because before either of them added anything I had another aunt interrupt them.

"Maribelle, I was wondering how the book is going?" Aunt Lillian asked.

I had mentioned it to a few people but not to meany.

"My book?" Not the question I wanted to be asked... "It's going well. Still writing." I say with a little awkward laugh.

I was done with it actually but I had yet to find a publisher and I wasn't actively looking. I don't know if I'm ready. Not with... not with James. He- it- the book- it's just... not ready. Especially since it was my first adult book,  I've only ever written a few kids books. I could feel James' eyes on me. Why was he looking?

"Are you stuck?" She asked.

"Yeah, a little." I answer.

"On what?" She asks.

"Oh you know, just the next thing." I  responded vaguely.

"Well what part did you just write? I'm good at coming up with ideas and I'd love to help. You've kept this book pretty secret from the family." She picks. She has good intentions but I did not want any help from anyone.

"Thank you, I appreciate it but for now I'm okay. I will definitely give you a call if that changes." There, can we be done talking about this?

"Okay" Is all she said. She doesn't quite believe me but I'm okay with that.

Everyone was finishing up eating when a family member on James' side caught my attention.

"What happened to the girlfriend? Alica is it? How long have you been dating now?"

What? He's dating?

"Uh three and half years." James answered.

I tried not to stare. Don't stare. I don't know what I expected, I mean yeah he'd date. He was eye candy for the girls but I just- I don't know. A part of me wasn't expecting that. Did I really expect anything different? I didn't even know I was looking until James made eye contact. Oh great. I was able to look away this time. The rest of dinner went past very slowly. Finally the bill was paid and everyone headed toward the elevators. I need a hot bath. When I got off the elevator I started walking to my room. I came to a stop in the middle of the hallway when I saw James taking his key out. We made eye contact. I kept walking until I got to my room.

"A book?" James asked.

"Four years strong?" I retorted.

"Three and a half years." He corrected me.

"Same amount of time it took me to write my book." I rolled my eyes.

"You finished it?" He asked.

I turned around to face him. He was already facing me.

"Why do you care?" I asked rudely.

"I- I just-." He started.

I wouldn't listen, so I walked in my room and shut the door on him. All of a sudden he cares now? Really? I rolled my eyes and tried to forget it. I got the bath ready and soon enough I was very relaxed.