Five Years

16

"Good morning." I said, resting my chin on his chest.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" He asked.

"Best in years, you?" I answered.

"Best in my life." He replied with a smirk.

"Always one upping me huh?" I commented.

"You bet." He replied as he pulled me up to kiss him. "You wanna stay here for another few minutes?"

"Yes please." I answered and laid my head back on his chest as I tightened my grip on his waist. He left a kiss on my head.

We did eventually get up and part ways to get our bags packed. When we did we met in the elevator and made our way down.

"We say nothing. Not yet." I told him as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Why?" he asked.

"This is Josh and Abby's day, they are headed on their honeymoon and that's all that they should be thinking about." I answered.

"I agree but Josh might not get the memo." James relied. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked up at him.

"What?"

"I told him. I couldn't not, heck I needed advice after we almost kissed the first time besides he knew something was going on and trying to use Alica as a replacement when trying to get advice about you was not working." James confused.

"Geze okay but I can't be too mad because I told Kathrine." I confused as well.

"Aunt K? Yeah that I kinda figured. No Lainie?" James asked.

"No, I did not want to tell anyone until I knew what was going on with us. Actually- wait, what are we?" I asked as I took a step back.

"That's a good question. I'm thinking best friends." James said and then looked to the wall.

"You better be joking J or I will ring your neck out." I threatened. James turned back to me in laughter.

"Yes I am. How about we go back to strangers?" He asked.

"James Martin Hert, I-" I started.

"No, no, no, okay okay I'm sorry. Bella, will you be my girlfriend?"
"I am so going to kill you one of these days but yes, yes I will J." I answer with a smile.

We kissed and then quickly broke apart when we heard the elevator ding. We came out and everyone seemed to already be there so we joined the little party. Everyone was saying goodbye and taking off to the airport a few at a time as the cabs arrived. Josh came up and pulled me to the side.

"So you and my brother huh?" He asked.

"Yes. I am officially his girlfriend." I answered.

"I am so happy for you guys. I do have a question though."

"Shoot."

"Does Abby not know?"

"No she doesn't. I didn't want me and James in your guys mind."

"I appreciate that. When do you plan to tell her?"

"Right after your honeymoon."

"You know I always thought you two would get married before me and Abby."

"I wanted it to happen but I'm glad we didn't."

"Really?"

"Yes. I love James and I have for years. I knew I wasn't going to be the one to say anything about my feelings, I didn't want to ruin the relationship we had but it ended up getting ruined anyway. As sad as it was, I learned things and I think I needed to go through it. That's a test of faith right? Going through the hard and narrow path? I had to find my way to christ and I think I did, I'm still working on it but good things did come out of that time. I can't imagine it any other way. It was so important and special to me to see you get married first, to see that, to see my big sister in a white dress and swearing an oath to love you forever. I love watching you guys love each other and it was so amazing to see it through the wedding." Josh looked like he was starting to tear up, like an actual tear- maybe a few were forming.

"Thank you Mair, and I hope you tell Abby that." Josh said after giving me a big hug and wiping a single tear off his cheek.

We headed back to the group and soon enough we were the last to leave. We said our own goodbyes before getting a cab together.
"Call as soon as you get off the plan." James said.

"You too."

We gave each other another kiss before we parted ways to head home. I was full of anxiety about how this would work but I was determined to do it and so was James. I gave Abby a day to get home and back settled before I set up a call with her and Lainie. I had already filled Aunt K in about all the details a day after the wedding and now it was Abby and Lainies turn to get everything. It was hard to unpack everything and it was hard to see Abby and Lainie find out that I've had panic attacks but we were soon giggling about all the happy details. I then had to call Josh and fill him in on a few things but I did that with Abby after Lainie had to hang up. I filled mom and dad in and it was a lot harder to tell them about the panic attacks but I wanted to be healed all the way and the only way I can do that is by sharing the hard stuff. A few months passed and not only was my book being published with the help of James finding me a publisher but I was writing another and moving back home to Virginia. Turns out James had moved to Vrigna a few years back so I would be a lot closer to him. I got a dog! Ruby, she's a golden retriever. James and I are awesome, I really love him, no more hiding. It took me a while to realize that those five years without him were good, I spent way too much of that time away from God and people to help me heal but I am so much better now. The bad will come out good, there is always a reason, always a way out, always something better coming. I even ran into Max a week ago and he says he is looking for a ring for his girlfriend. He's really happy and in love with her. Things are hard but it's important to keep going and even learn how to be confidening in the Lord.