Five Years

12

"Hey James, are you done yet?" Alica suddenly said.

We quickly broke apart. Are you kidding me! What is wrong with me! I'm sure I looked guilty when she walked in, I was. I almost kissed someone else's boyfriend. What is wrong with me?! I almost missed James!? James...

"Uh yeah, sorry." James said. He played it cool and he did it well.

"What do you have to say sorry for? Are you guys done?" She asked.

James looked at me, he wanted an answer. I nodded. He gave me a smile before he turned toward Alica.

"Yes. Goodnight Bella."

Bella. Bella was a nickname he only ever called me. He didn't even use that very much but it meant a lot to me, to us.

"Goodnight Maribella." Alica says to me before they both leave my room, closing the door behind me.

I don't know what I am doing. Before James left he was my best friend... he- he was my everything, even more so then Max. James and I had known each other for years, our whole families had. James and I were best friends, we were inseparable. Some time along the way, I... fell for him. It had taken me a year to realize it. I had been in love with James for four years and even during those five years he was gone... I loved him. I was mad at myself for still loving him. Max and I had got engaged really fast but I had used him as a distraction from James. Don't get me wrong I still loved Max but it wasn't as nearly as I love James. When James left me, I isolated myself from everyone including Max. Max tried to help but he didn't understand and it wasn't fair for him to marry me when I was like this. If we were still together then I would wait another year at least before marrying him. That means we would be engaged for nine years and it would not have been remotely fair to him. Seeing James again, being that close, having him, just made me realize I'm still in love with him and because of that, I almost made him cheat. I can't do that. That's not like me, not fair and it's terrible to Alica. That night I had all I thought about, for crying out loud they were even in my dreams. Safe to say I did not get much sleep. The next morning everyone ate breakfast in their rooms. Aunt K came over to my room a little earlier than I expected but I appreciate it.

"Perfect. Come here, I'll order." I said as I pulled her in.

"Okay spill but I already ordered breakfast for us." Aunt K answered with a laugh as she made her way to my bed.

"Umm okay James and I... we almost... kissed."

Aunt K sat there with her mouth wide open and just stared at me.

"I'm sorry, what?!" She said as she shot up out of the bed.

"Well he- he came over to talk to me and we- well we got... we got a little close and we were about to kiss when Alica came in."

"Okay hold on. There's a lot in that sentence. He came over to talk okay but what about?"

"Just stuff. I asked him to tell me why... he left."

"And?"

"He said he can't tell me. He asked me to wait."

"To wait?! He kept you waiting for five years I think that's more than enough-!"

"I know and he knows too. Just- just dont Aunt K. Please. I said I was going to wait."

"I don't like that Mari."

"I know. Just please."

"For now. You got too close? Did- what- how did that happen and what- what was going on in that brain of yours?"

"He- we sat down on the bed and just kinda I guess ended letting our faces get close? I don't know how to explain it, we just did. I- Aunt K I-... I love him. I have loved him for eight years. I wanted to, I knew I should have but at the same time I couldn't move away."

"Eight years?! I knew you guys loved each other but I didn't know it was for eight years."

"You wanna know the messed up part? Five of those years were the time we were apart."

"Oh Mari..."

"I hated myself for loving him..."

"I know... love, what about Alica?"

"Ugg, I know! I feel terrible and I don't know why I did that! That's not me..."

"I don't know what to tell you. James needs to tell her, she deserves that."

"I agree..."

The breakfast arrived and we quickly changed the subject to something more cheerful. We finished breakfast and gathered our stuff to head downstairs in our bridesmaid pjs. When we got to Abby's room she was busy trying to make the snacks look perfect.

"Abby, it's okay." I said with a laugh.
"Ugg I know, I am just trying to keep my mind busy." She sighed with a smile

We helped her check everything and greeted the two other bridesmaids, our dear Lainie and Tasha. The makeup and hair artists arrived and set up their stations. We took three hours to get all ready and dressed. Abby was freaking out but she was so excited. Aunt K gave her words of wisdom before her and Tasha headed downstairs to get a few things situated before Abby got down there. Abby was looking in the mirror at herself when I walked up behind her and put my arms on her shoulders. Lainie walked over and leaned on the other side of Abby.

"Stop it Abby. You are so excited, focus on that." I told her.

"Yes please. You are marrying the love of your life!" Lainie added with exaggeration which led to Abby laughing.

"I know, I know. I just don't want things to go wrong." Abby confused.

"There will be a few things, that's inevitable but you have four people who will make sure they get fixed swifty." I tried to reassure.

"Plus look at how beautiful you look! I hope to be as beautiful as you at my future wedding." Lainie commented.

Lainie was right. Abby looked stunning. The dress was a perfect fit for her, it was her and it was perfect.

"I second that." I add.

"Thank you, you guys are amazing." Abby said before putting each of her hands on one of ours and closing her eyes to take a deep breath.

We stayed their another minute before we headed down. Abby did first look with our parents and her Josh in a separate room before the ceremony. Before we knew it everyone was sat down and all the bridesmaids were waiting for the music to guide us down. Abby was fixing the dresses and making sure we all looked perfect while we quickly did the same for her. We gave her the last words of wisdom before we had to walk down.

"Hey quickly, I can get a cab and get us out now. Last chance." I joked.

"Haha, very fun Mari." She said only slightly amused.

Our music started playing. We lined up with Tasha first as maid of honor, me, Lainie, and then Aunt K. People's eyes were on us as we walked up to the arch and stood in a line on the side. My eyes found James almost immediately. He looked very handsome. His hair had a little extra shine to it which I found a little funny, I don't know why. He gave me a smile which I returned. I turned toward Josh who was just staring at the alie waiting for Abby. Her music started playing and I watched as she slowly walked out. Those two were only looking at each other, they didn't care for anyone else. I wanted that. I wanted what they had. The ceremony went by fast, before I knew it they were married. Everyone had dispersed and quickly were pulling the bride and groom in different directions. I tried to stay away from James, at least for right now. Food began quickly, the room was full of conversation so we took advantage of probably the only time we were going to be able to talk to the newly married couple. I would make eye contact with James throughout lunch, I tried to look away but every time I would end up back at his eyes. After lunch we did a few games with Abby and Josh like "who's more fill in the blank" before the dancing began. The dance floor filled up but after a couple hours there was more dispersing of conversation.