𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑻𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑶𝑹 || 𝗦𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗦𝗻𝗮𝗽𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗕𝗮𝗯𝘆 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟏.

It was hard for Snape to decide just what it was that he hated most about these faculty meetings. What was there to discuss? Nothing! Some of the other teachers seemed to enjoy talking about their experiences, but Severus would rather keep his experiences to himself.

Dumbledore was in the process of handing out white slips of paper on which they were supposed to write what they enjoyed most about teaching at Hogwarts. Then they were going to put them in a pile in the middle of the table, and share them. Snape could not see how this was constructive. He grabbed a fork from Harry's hand, preventing a near dislocation of an eyeball, and scribbled an answer on his slip of parchment. He had written "Taking points from Gryffindor." He hoped Minerva would appreciate his contribution, and smirked a bit to himself as he pushed the parchment to the pile on the table.

------------------------ ~♥~ ------------------------

"Headmaster, how long must this function drag on for?" Snape muttered to Dumbledore almost two hours later. Flitwick had just given a presentation on how to properly grade students without including any personal bias. Snape almost felt that the presentation was geared directly towards him, and it was leaving him feeling a little miffed. Who was Flitwick to tell him how to assess his students? Snape was just about to conclude that someone that short should not have the power to tell him what to do. Then he remembered that Harry was also rather short and also rather influential.

"Ah, Severus, I was wondering when you would begin your groanings again. They are an important part of each meeting," Dumbledore responded, altogether cheerfully.

Harry was getting increasingly squirmy and that was adding to Snape's irritation with the whole situation.

Rather than giving the old wizard a terse reply, Snape merely removed his hair from Harry's fist and gave the old man a look which let him know he was not amused.

Dumbledore grinned and stood up, spreading his arms wide and declaring, "What a fabulous meeting this has been! My friends. It is clear that the students of Hogwarts are in good hands. Now, before I let you go, I think it's important that we discuss the upcoming event, being All Hallow's Eve."

Flitwick clapped his hands and began hopping up and down on his chair. "I can enchant floating candles again!" he squeaked.

"As you have for the past twenty years?" Minerva asked, with a wry smile.

"Yes!' Flitwick responded enthusiastically.

"That would be marvelous." Dumbledore said, smiling. "Who else would like to contribute to the atmosphere?" The way Dumbledore said this implied "Now what are the rest of you going to do, because you aren't leaving until you've agreed to do something" but of course Albus would never threaten them that way.

Minerva volunteered to do some transfiguring of the suits of armor, Professor Sprout declared that she'd bring over sprigs of her creepiest plants, and Filch growled that he would be more than willing to actually carry out Detention in the ways he normally suggested.

"Severus?" Dumbledore said. "Is there something you'd like to do to help? You've been very quiet all meeting."

"Other than your unhelpful comments about Gryffindors," sniffed Minerva.

That made Snape smile slightly, but he was also extremely irritated. How could Dumbledore ask him to help more, when he, Severus, was the one taking charge of Harry, who was currently poking Snape repeatedly in the stomach and whispering "Poke, poke, poke."

Snape was proud, at least, that Harry had the decorum to poke quietly. He attributed it to his fabulous mentoring in how to behave in social situations.

"Did you have something in mind?" Snape asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, sounding almost like a delighted child. "I thought maybe you and Harry could carve some pumpkins for us to put on the tables."

This was an utterly preposterous idea. It was stupid, and for a number of reasons.

1. Snape did not carve pumpkins.

2. They did not need carved pumpkins.

3. Harry was too young to carve a pumpkin.

4. Oh, combining knives and babies, that plan has wisdom inherent all throughout each and every aspect.

Snape raised an eyebrow at Dumbledore, not wanting to explain how ill-conceived this plan was. Dumbledore seemed to be getting more and more of those with each day.

"In fact, I had some of the house elves take pumpkins down to your chambers already."

Snape knew that he needed to stop being surprised by these things. He shook his head "no" but it wasn't an actual "no" it was more of a shake of disbelief.

Dumbledore then asked Madam Pince to decorate the infirmary so that any wounded students could still feel the holiday spirit. Snape was pretty sure this was the best idea yet, of course he only meant this in the sarcastic sense.

Soon enough all the faculty had different assignments and they were finally free to go.

"Bye bye!" Harry called, opening and closing his hand in his typical baby wave as Snape swept out of the Great Hall.

"Better save some of that cheerful attitude for later, Harry," Snape mumbled. "We have pumpkins to attend to."