An Angel's Vice

Chapter 20 - Think & Reflect

*Flashback*

"You sure you don't want me to drive you all the way home? It's not an issue for me," said Lauren after shifting the gear stick and letting her car idle outside of the house of one of Camila's friends, turning her head against the headrest to look at the younger brunette.

Camila couldn't look at Lauren—not as easily as she could before they did what they did in that motel room. One of the plenty reasons why was that she felt Lauren was secretly judging her, and in a bad way. Like maybe she thought differently of her now. She couldn't get out of her head since they finished. Camila cleared her throat and rubbed her bicep, maintaining her gaze on her brown flats. "My friend doesn't have a car and she doesn't drive all the way to my house; we usually get a ride. It'll look too suspicious if I end up back home by myself after telling my brother I'd be with her for the night."

"So he'll be picking you up?"

"Yeah."

"At what time? Is he on his way right now?"

"I'm sorry...could you...turn off your car?" Camila abruptly asked, unexpectedly gaining the courage to look at Lauren. She shivered from the goosebumps. "I don't want my friend to know I'm here. She doesn't know that I used her to cover up what I was actually doing, and I don't want her to see your car and come outside asking questions. She's the type to do that."

Lauren shut her car off with a light chuckle. "Would your friend snitch on you if she saw me?"

"I don't think so. She's not the type to snitch. I just would rather keep what we have between us a secret."

"That's cool. I like secrets," Lauren took off her seatbelt and shifted closer to the timid girl, licking her lips as the flashbacks from the motel resurfaced her mind. "Come here."

"What are you doing?" Camila jumped in her seat, startled and afraid of what Lauren might do—in the sense that this was a public space despite their enclosure.

"I can't help it," she murmured, her open hand sliding across Camila's cheek until her fingertips reached the back of her neck, and she shut the girl up with a mind numbing kiss. Lauren used her other hand to caress Camila's thigh, daring to move up several inches near her privates. She broke the kiss when sensing just how tense Camila truly was, and she smiled at her instead of grilling her. "You ok? Pasa algo?" (Something wrong?)

Camila subtly shook her head. She felt like she couldn't breathe and the air supply was rapidly getting shorter. She was scared of the sin she just committed despite wanting to commit it in the first place; she knew that when she got home the first thing she'd do is run to the bathroom and be sick, then cry into her pillow when it was over. Her stomach ached so badly from her brother possibly finding out, from God's watchful eyes shaming her and His voice demanding her back in her church as soon as possible, from all of the confessing and prayers she'd have to do, and from knowing that she had given away her purity to someone she wasn't entirely sure of. For all Camila knew, this was her signing her death sentence—a bad idea that was only good in theory. She was terrified that her body still desired more—perhaps a lot more than before now that she had a taste and thoroughly enjoyed it. Camila observed Lauren in her thugged out clothes with some shame and judgement of her own, as well as the hickies on her neck and pretended another girl had given them to Lauren so that she could find some sanctuary in denial.

Lauren continued to touch her, entice her with more kisses, charm her with her toothy smile and raspy words of "when can I see you again" "you were so good" "I can't stop thinking about it" and "tell your brother to take his ass back home and come over to my place instead so we can do it again". Camila fed into it. She hated every second of it but she loved it at the same time. She was beginning to hate Lauren and desired to punish her for her influence that turned her whole world upside down so quickly. Camila thought this must be so common with Lauren; find a good girl, turn her into a bad one, make her hate herself, scramble her thoughts, throw her away, and then repeat. 'Well not me,' Camila thought to herself, 'I'll abuse you first.'