Book 2 of Los Carnales
After going M.I.A. for months without a single word, Lauren returns to Miami only to find that she isn't the only person who has changed; the city she once knew as hers is no more. Candy has taken over her share of Miami-Dade...
A/N: If y'all want that happy ending, I hope y'all have the patience to read through the bullshit it's gonna take to get there. That's all I'mma say.
Jason:
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Sunday, 11:29am Castle Hill Projects - Bronx, New York
It isn't a blissful float to the surface of reality, but rather a violent jolt, followed by a dry heaving fit and the regret of taking air for granted when Lauren can't seem to get what she needs in her burning lungs. She fists the bedsheets, left in disarray from her thrashing and tossing, and screws her eyes shut, tightening them as she fights off the visuals of her nightmare trapped in her faux vision. Alerted by the cold, damp sensation soaking her back and basketball shorts, Lauren reopens her eyes and confirms that it's just sweat and not pee. The birds singing outside the small bedroom window brings her temporary peace—peace that doesn't even last longer than four seconds, because she looks over and the spot previously occupied by Candy is empty.
Lauren puts that to the back of her mind for a moment so that she may remember the gentle, angelic, familiar voice of her former woman whispering from the grave to come home...that it's okay...that everyone's happy there and no earthly pain exists where she's at. She stutters out sobs and clutches her neck, clawing at her skin—punishing herself for not having the capability to tame her emotions nor the volume of her cries. Lauren covers her ears when the birds fade out and in come the parade of gunshots, like a marching band on a battlefield. Her heart contracts just as her body does, and all she wants is to go back to bed.
No, fuck that. All she wants is to be held and transported back to the past, where she can undo everything and choose better. But she's alone, and that's impossible, and nothing that is possible and worth reaching for to chase away the restless, hungry terrors forever is available for her to have. So she curls up into a ball with the covers over her body for a little while longer and uses the luxury of being alone to cry it all out.
"How down are you? Do you know where you begin and where you end? Because you KNOW it's blood in and blood out, right?"
"More down than you, probably. More down than anyone. I begin here, at the bottom, and end at the top, with all my opps in the fucking ground. They're not ready for me. But I'm ready for them. Especially Luca, that little fuck—he's gonna wish he shot me too."
"Hermanita, you know I'll follow you anywhere and support you with whatever. We're all we got. Just make sure that you know what you're doing. I'm in this for the money and the revenge, and for the family too, but nothing more than that. Is revenge ALL you want?" (Little sis.)
"What I want is power. I don't like how it feels to be powerless—to walk around here feeling like someone can take that from me again, and they know I won't do anything about it. That anyone can just do whatever they want. Fuck that. With me running shit, they'll all bow down to me. I will make them, te lo juro, mano. Eso es la verdad. Oíste? I won't be the fucking victim again. So yeah, blood in, blood out, but it won't be my blood for a long time." (I swear to you, bro. That is the truth.)
