An Angel's Vice

Chapter 35 - I Hate The Fucking Desert

A/N: Sasha's backstory finally gets revealed and it's crickets all around. I'm disappointed.

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A few days later - Somewhere in Mexico

The 'Jezebel spirit' is what her father attached to her identity. In fact, it became her entire identity as she slowly rotted in the cage underneath his family ranch, covering her ears to block out the torturous voice reciting the Bible to her 24/7, nonstop. And each time she was caught trying to dissociate from scripture, whomever had caught her would crank up the volume or bring the radio right next to her cage so she couldn't escape the word of God. She'd be reminded frequently of Jezebel. Alejandro sometimes took the liberty of pulling up a stool and sitting by her cage, the Old Testament in one hand and a bag of Duritos in the other, to read to her and inform Candy of the spirit that has attached itself to her. He enjoyed shaming her for it.

"So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law," he'd famously recite, in between munching real hard on the wheel chips sprinkled with tajin and lime to agitate her further. "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will NOT inherit the kingdom of God."

"When the flesh is in control, it doesn't concern itself with the title of those it lies with. It doesn't mind the consequences as long as it is satisfied. The sexual, immoral beast must be pleased at any cost. Doesn't that sound familiar to you? A little personal, right?"

"You'd lie with the enemy, knowing they are the enemy, and because of that you would commit treason against your own blood, manipulate and lie to your brother and have the people around him be killed. You would put the lives of your very own family on the line because you went to bed with the enemy. The enemy, who has corrupted your innocence and attached the Jezebel spirit to you...made you incapable of retaining your values and morality. Since the enemy, you have chased after sex and made it your entire world. Manipulation, deceit, selfishness, betrayal, and lust became who you are. Look at me and tell me that I am lying."

Candy still hasn't spoken a word to anyone in days as her own form of protest. But if she could speak up and say anything to anyone—to him—she'd tell them they're just as bad, if not worse than she. That they are more corrupted than she is, considering she never raped anybody or allowed anyone under her to be raped with her consent. She never took little girls and fed them to the beasts that Estrabao Cartel famously has. She might've been sexual, but she was never a sicko. And this attitude that they have toward her ways of living has nothing to do with sin itself but rather the PERSON who is sinning, since she was never seen as somebody with the right to her own autonomy.

But it's no use saying any of that. They couldn't care, they don't see their own hypocrisy, and they never will. And, sadly, there is just enough truth to their words for them to even consider her point-of-view. Eventually, Candy began believing in what Alejandro said about her. She did do all of those things, and she did become all of those things. She hasn't been an angel since Lauren. In fact, since Lauren, she has done every possible thing she couldn't dream of doing before going to bed with her. And each time she took off her clothes for her and took her inside her sacred gates, it was never enough—she craved more, needed more, and did just about anything to get it. She took the fast track into becoming a terrible person because of it.