An Angel's Vice

Chapter 31 - I'll Stand By You

A/N: Wattpad isn't showing the chapter pictures on any updates, so I'mma just post them here like this.

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February 12th, 2009
1:44pm - Caballero Rivero, Woodlawn North, Miami

"Indifference. That's the word I'm looking for; indifference," says Candy, holding a black umbrella as she stands before Aleesia's angel headstone with nothing to offer her but her tears behind her sunglasses she wears (despite the cloudy skies) and remorse. "I had to have it for you in order to live with myself...and block out everything you and I have been through since Lauren. So I hope you don't blame me for the way I've been acting. This is the first time I'm addressing everything and sitting with you while I do it, so bear with me."

Candy hesitantly removes her sunglasses and tucks them between her breasts that are pushed up with the help of her skin tight, short black dress. She stares for a long time at the engravings on the headstone and involuntarily flashes back to the burial ceremony; how surreal it felt seeing her casket lowered to the ground; how she never got the chance to see her dead body and the disgusting way she craved to sometimes; the moment she received notice that Aleesia had been killed by Luca two days after she sent that letter to him. Now that she's looking back and reflecting on writing that letter, Candy's stomach turns at the startling realization that she truly is to blame. She's the butterfly effect of a tragedy. She provoked Luca to act the way he did by asking him 'what will you do about it's after revealing things that'd, of course, fuel him with all the fire to bring about destruction one can't go back from.

And if she digs a bit deeper, and asks herself the question she never has, she also realizes that her insatiable desire for revenge and power will always hurt the one she loves the most, and she overlooked their safety and was willing to gamble on their life. She put Lauren in harms way and didn't think twice about it. She got lucky that Aleesia was the one to get hit, when Luca could've easily taken out Lauren, who was on the same sidewalk and only a couple of feet away. She could've gone to Luca personally, kidnapped him, found a way to make it a one-on-one confession and deal with whatever happens after spilling the beans...but she didn't. For a woman of God...a woman who used to be so firm in her beliefs and did her best to follow the path of Jesus Christ...she would never sacrifice herself the way he did, but instead would sacrifice others for her own gain, no matter who they were. She's not so different from her family at all—despite denying the resemblance.

"I meant what I said at the burial; I'm sorry, and I believe you were gone too soon. You did mean a lot to me once upon a time. But I also have to be honest here...and let everything out..." Candy says, the tension between her brows increasing. "It's a major step in me being saved," she lowers herself to the ground with her knees bent, mindful of not letting her backside touch the wet grass. "I'm glad you're dead. I don't think I would've gotten what I wanted with you still alive. I think you would've always been in the way, even if you did leave the state and Lauren stayed back with me. I believe I have every right to be selfish in that sense. I didn't like the hell I had to go through watching someone who didn't belong to you be with you and give you everything I wanted them to give to me. Was that largely my fault? Yes...AFTER I shot her. But before?" Candy huffs and bows her head, shaking it gently. "I wish you took into consideration that Lauren was a secret for a reason, and that if I was willing to keep a dangerous secret like that—whether or not I admitted it at the time—I really loved her and didn't want to let that go."