Book 2 of Los Carnales
After going M.I.A. for months without a single word, Lauren returns to Miami only to find that she isn't the only person who has changed; the city she once knew as hers is no more. Candy has taken over her share of Miami-Dade...
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*** Sunday 12:30pm, November 23rd St. Philomena Church - Coral Gables, Miami-Dade
Mass ended half an hour ago. Candy couldn't put her finger on it, but something about today's gathering acted as a catharsis for what she had been through over the course of eleven months. Something prompted her to dismiss Wandel and her commitments for today so that she may sit alone with Father Pedro for spiritual counsel. It's also the first time a in the longest time where a startling realisation dawned on her and finally humbled her down to her knees: she never used to be afraid to cry or expose so much of her vulnerability in a Church before until now.
This is a big deal for Candy. She, who used to cry and sing and bear her soul to God in front of any and everyone without restraint or consciousness to what others may think about it, is blocked from doing such a thing. This isn't the streets, it's a fucking Church—the one place ANYONE is allowed to strip themselves of shame, pride, faux fortitude, and the bone crushing weight of their emotions they couldn't express outside of it. Surprisingly, it's the one thing that broke her heart the most this year.
"Any relationship with God can be repaired. Anytime you need Him, call on Him. But your commitment to Him and following through with what He asks of you determines His response. We all like to be answered, Candy. But a one-sided relationship with God doesn't give you answers. You have to give. And you have to mean it," Father Pedro points and taps her chest, "in here. Your heart is the most precious thing to our Father."
"I should be so lucky that it's still beating," Candy retorts, playing with her fingers as she sits in the first second row of the far left pew with her Priest.
Wrinkles bunch around his eyes as he smiles. "You're here for a reason."
"What's the reason? All I've done is sin and suffer. With the life He has given me, that is my only option."
"You're looking at it incorrectly, my child. God has given you this life to lead an example. You were born into a family of false preachers and followers. You were the only good one for a reason. You've lost your way by following in their footsteps, but you can get out of that when you realise your purpose. Spread the word of God, do as the Bible says, strengthen your relationship with Him, choose another path. You're stuck because you made yourself be stuck—God has nothing to do with the circumstances you face that came from your actions."
Candy strongly considers this but she's reluctant to give a response because a decision hasn't been made yet. She's still wrestling with the Devil, and the Devil's got her up against the ropes, bounding her to them while enchantingly whispering in her ear her deepest desires she'd have to let go of if she returns to the light. The Devil speaks of power, of sky high mountains made of her enemies where she stands on top of their sorry bodies, and of unexplored abundant paths of love and wealth she hasn't even touched yet.
