The Cadet's Origin

Chapter Twenty Eight - Feelings

Kenna stayed light on her feet as Reiner threw punches at her. She knew that she couldn't overpower him. Her only chance at victory was to try and wear him out. She dodged his punches again and again.

"Come on," Reiner said. "This is a fight not a dance."

Kenna ducked under Reiner's arm and popped up right in front of him. She threw a punch to try and throw Reiner off. The only thing that it accomplished was Reiner grabbing Kenna and slamming her to the ground. Kenna let out a small grunt as she hit the ground. The shock of her hitting the ground stopped after a minute. It was then quickly replaced with the fact that Reiner was on top of her. She hoped that she wasn't blushing.

"Looks like I won," Reiner said with a smirk.

"Oh shut it, Reiner," Kenna said as she attempted to push him off of her. Kenna sometimes forgot how much like a brick wall Reiner actually was. Reiner got up himself and held out his hand.

"Thanks," Kenna said as he pulled her up. However, Reiner either underestimated how strong he was or overestimated how big Kenna was. Kenna flew up in the air and landed in Reiner's arms. Kenna definitely knew that she was blushing now.

"Someone's embarrassed," Reiner teased.

"Move to your lefts!" Shadis shouted at them.

Kenna had never been more grateful for Shadis's harsh training. She wriggled out of Reiner's strong arms and moved to her left. She glanced down the line and saw that Reiner was facing off with Armin. Kenna was glad that Reiner was kind enough to go easy on the shorter blond.

"What's the reason your face is as red as your hair," Marco asked. He had a big stupid grin on his face.

"It's nothing," Kenna said as she got into fighting position.

"Really?" Marco asked as he matched her stance. "Are you sure that it doesn't have anything to do with a certain tall blond?"

Kenna felt her face get hot, "Reiner has nothing to do with my face being red."

"Who said I was talking about Reiner?" Marco said. Kenna could see the smile growing on his face. "I could have been talking about Thomas for all you know."

"That's not fair," Kenna said as she threw a punch. "Everyone knows that if someone is talking about a tall blond around here they're talking about Reiner. It's exactly how everyone knows that Jean is Horse-Face or Eren is Suicidal Maniac."

Marco easily blocked her punch and threw her over his shoulder. Kenna landed on the ground with a thud. Marco stood up and held out his hand.

"Don't kid yourself, Kenna," Marco said as he pulled her up. "Everyone can see how you much you blush and smile around him."

"I blush because he teases and I get flustered easily," Kenna said as she went in for another round of punches. "And I smile around all my friends."

"Please," Marco rolled his eyes as he stepped out of her way. "You have the smile you give to everyone else and then you have the smile you give to Reiner. You're not subtle." Marco threw a punch at her.

Kenna ducked under his arm and landed a punch on his abdomen before stepping out of the way, "You don't know what you're talking about." The more and more Marco pushed this issue the more and more Kenna wanted to disappear. Kenna couldn't remember, if ever, she had had to deal with teasing like this.

"I'm not supposed to talk about it, but there's currently a giant betting pool for when the two of you will get together," Marco said.

"What?" Kenna faltered. The thought of people, her friends, betting on the most personal thing of her life shook Kenna to her core. Why was it her private affairs that were being opened up as a spectacle. Marco used the opportunity to tackled her to the ground.

"Yeah," Marco nodded as he looked down at her. "The only thing more obvious than the fact that you like Reiner is the fact that Reiner is head over heels for you."

"All right, you worthless pieces of shit," Shadis yelled at them. "Hit the showers and get ready for dinner. You're dismissed for the day."

Kenna grabbed onto Marco and tossed him off of her. She stood up and started to stomp off towards the girl's cabin.

"Woah, Kenna," Marco said as he ran up to walk besides her. "Why are you so upset?"

"Just drop it, Marco," Kenna huffed as she continued her march.

"Kenna, don't walk away angry like this," Marco said as he stood in front of her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong?" Kenna asked with a raised eyebrow. "What's wrong? You're seriously asking me that question. You just told me that my friends are making my personal life a bet amongst themselves. You and the others have no right to gossip about what's happening in terms of my romantic life or lack thereof." Kenna clenched her jaw. "So, let's get a two things straight. One, who I do or do not like is not something that needs to be discussed with the world. That's for me and me alone to know. Two, Reiner doesn't like me like that. He sees me as his friend and nothing more."

"Why are you so dead set on believing he doesn't like you, Kenna?" Marco asked.

"Because no one likes me like that," Kenna snapped. "And I don't want anyone to like me like that." Kenna closed her eyes and sighed. "You don't get it, Marco. You just don't. The more people you care about, the more likely you are to get hurt." She opened her eyes again. "I didn't plan on making so many friends while I was here, but I did and that's scary to me. Because after what I saw, after what I lost, the thought of losing another person close to me really fucking sucks, okay. I'm stuck with my friends, and I'm glad about it, but I'm not opening myself up to get hurt anymore than I have to."

"Kenna..." Marco tried to get a word in.

"No, Marco," Kenna said. "I'm not going to listen to anything you have to say. Besides, like I said, it doesn't matter. Reiner doesn't like me. Reiner and I are just friends. That's all we'll ever be to each other."

"You do realize that you haven't said you don't like him this entire time," Marco said. "What's the point of living if you don't admit when someone makes you happy, Kenna? You can't hide from your feelings forever."

"I'm not hiding from anything," Kenna snapped at Marco. "Now, I'm going to take a shower and I will see you later."

Kenna walked off and didn't let Marco get in another word. Kenna showered and went about the rest of her day. Kenna went straight to bed after dinner. She didn't feel like dealing with Marco any more today. Kenna sat in her bed and just sketched. She just shut off her brain and drew. She hummed as the drawing began to take shape. She stopped when she realized what, or rather, who she was starting to draw. Kenna shut her notebook and laid down. She started at the bottom of the bed above hers. Kenna reached under her people and took out the note that Reiner had written her so long ago.

She sighed and held the note close to her chest. It wasn't fair. Why did Reiner have to be so nice to her. Why did he always know exactly what to say to make Kenna feel a little less alone. Why did Reiner have to be so frustratingly handsome and confident in himself.

Kenna hated that Reiner always made her blush and smile and her heart skip a beat. Why did he have to be so annoyingly always there and know the right things to say. Kenna put the note back under her pillow and tried to push down what she was feeling. It's like she told Marco; Reiner didn't like her. They were just friends. That was what Kenna wanted. Why would she ever want to be anything more? It's like she said, that was just opening herself up for more heartbreak. Besides, the friendship she had with Reiner and Bertolt was one of the best things about her life right now. Nothing needed to change about it.

Kenna groaned as she ran her fingers through her hair. It did nothing to calm the thoughts that were racing through her mind. Kenna was pretty sure the thing that she hated the most was the fact that Marco was right. She liked Reiner and there was nothing she could do to change her feelings.

Reader,

Thank you so much for the support you have shown this story. Right now, I am in the midst of studying for exams, so updates will probably be slower. Thank you for being understanding and patient.

-Queen of the Nerds