Deadpool and Ash: Hail to The King

Chapter III - Can I Pet It?

Deadpool wakes up in a hospital bed in the Council. He hears a heart monitor beeping next to him. He looks over and sees Ash Williams sitting next to him.

DEADPOOL: What happened?

ASH: You had a fucking stroke.

DEADPOOL: Ash Williams telling me that I had a stroke might be the coolest thing that's ever happened to me.

Larry walks into the room.

LARRY: A blood vessel in your brain just exploded but thanks to your healing factor, you recovered in a matter of 24 hours.

ASH: His what now?

LARRY: His healing factor. He's practically invincible.

DEADPOOL: I can still feel everything though.

ASH: Oh I definitely made the right choice here.

LARRY: Let me take you both to the briefing room.

Deadpool, Ash, and Larry arrive to the briefing room. Mia and Uni are already waiting.

DEADPOOL: Can I pet it?

MIA: Go ahead.

Deadpool walks over to Uni with his hand reached out. Right before he reaches him, Uni disappears and teleports away.

DEADPOOL: What the fuck just happened?

ASH: What the hell did you do to him?!

DEADPOOL: I don't know, I don't know, it was an accident.

Deadpool falls to his knees and begins to sob.

MIA: You fucking killed him!!!

Deadpool begins sobbing even harder.

DEADPOOL: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

LARRY: Uni isn't dead. He just zorped to another room.

Mia and Ash burst into laughter.

DEADPOOL: He what?

LARRY: Zorped. It's what we call it when Uni travels the omniverse.

DEADPOOL: What a shitty name.

Deadpool, Ash, Mia, and Uni are all sitting in the briefing room while Larry explains the plan.

LARRY: 24 hours ago, an entire universe was destroyed. We still don't know who or what did this, all we know is that it wasn't an accident. With the little amount of details that we know, we're pretty much just going to send you two on a wild goose chase across the omniverse. Find as many details as possible, no matter how many multiverses you have to go to.

DEADPOOL: What's my reward?

Everyone turns to face Deadpool with a disgusted face.

DEADPOOL: What??

ASH: Your reward is being a hero to the people of the omniverse, your reward is being able to go to bed at night and know that you've done something for someone else... and maybe a little somethin' else for your efforts.

DEADPOOL: Sounds good to me, Ashley.

ASH: The last person who called me that was an anthropomorphic lion who's guts I ripped out with my chainsaw, I don't think you wanna call me that.

Deadpool chuckles to himself.

DEADPOOL: So... why me?

ASH: A couple years ago I saw you traveling

LARRY: Deadpool, only Ash and Uni will be going with you. Mia and I will stay back to guard the Council Room. You guys better get ready, we're running out of time.

DEADPOOL: So how does the traveling work?

LARRY: You see that device strapped to Uni's back? That's where you set your destination and see your map of the omniverse.

DEADPOOL: That is so cool.

Deadpool and Ash board Uni, preparing to zorp.

ASH: Maximum Effort.

DEADPOOL: No fucking way.