To Be Together

I'm Sorry

The next day all three get an early start to the day, to get ready for their long journey back home. All three excited to get out of the cold weather. Shisheng peak gets cold too but not this early. At least certain areas aren't covered in snow yet. They want to get home quickly. Not realising how much they miss home after so long gone, more so now that Wanning is back.

Mo Ran looks at his cousin as he grumbles about the long journey they have ahead of them. Mo Ran tunes him out as he turns towards the mansions front door. They stand at the gate. Waiting for Wanning, for some reason he's taking forever to come out. Mo Ran still hasn't gotten a chance to talk in private. He's worried at this rate it won't happen. Of course he can wait until they get back home but the sooner the better. He's waited long enough as it is.

"Shizun!" Xue Meng shouts happily. Mo Ran looks up to see Wanning dressed warmly walking out the door. He takes a few steps towards them, until he pauses, turning to Qing Su.

Wanning tells her something causing her to turn shocked by it. With wide eyes she asks Wanning something. Wanning only nods. Then he turns and continues to walk towards them. In the background Qing Su falls to her knees crying one of the female servants gets down to her knees to comfort the lady, fussing over the now hysterically crying woman. Wanning continues to walk towards them, face passive.

Once close, Xue Meng asks, "what did you tell her?" A small part of him worried if Wanning had been to blunt and upset her.

"When I was captured, I summoned the ghosts of all the victim. I told them who send me. All were shocked but none stepped forward." Wanning explains though it goes over Xue Meng head. He tilts his head. Mo Ran seem to think about it but they both don't seem to get it. "Her sister wasn't amongst the ghosts." Wanning tells them plainly.

"If she was she would have stepped up." Mo Ran says. Wanning nods.

"So is she still alive?" Xue Meng wonders.

"Until there's proof she's not." Wanning answers, walking forward towards the gate. Also ready to get out of this place. He feels as if he's been here too long.

"Princess! Wait!" The three pause in the street, a servant rushing towards them. "H-here." She hands them a large token. Xue Meng takes it, giving it a look over. It's not money, and there's nothing carved in it.

"What is it?" He asks.

"A token for a carriage ride home. Give it to the ranch owner in the next town and he'll have a carriage for you three to ride all the way back home. As a thank you for finding the truth even though... as a thank you for completing your job." she explains with a deep bow.

"Really? We don't have to walk all the way home!" Xue Meng shouts happily staring starry eyed at the token.

"Thank you." Wanning says.

"It's our pleasure. Get home safely." she bows with a smile. Then she turns around to return.

The three also turn, continuing towards the gate out of the city. Xue Meng happily skipping forward at the idea of not having to walk the whole way. Having walked to the city themselves all three can see why Qing Su was in a rather harsh state. Especially since her initial carriage ride was to the closest sect, and when they rejected her she went to another. Then another. Until they found her. She must not have brought enough money. She didn't think she would be turned down so many times. But she didn't give up.

Seeing the gates Mo Ran remembers something. Quickly he searches his robes. Finding two small blue pins. He looks down at his hand, dwarfing the pins. He takes a pensive look at Wanning. Then looks at his cousin who has skip further ahead. Mo Ran swallows the lump in his throat. He might not get a better chance than now. He also doesn't want to waste his chance. Five years ago Mo Ran learned first hand how short life is and unpredictable it truly is.

"Shizun... um..." Mo Ran starts not sure what to start with first. Ultimately he decides on the pins, "there were two young boys who wanted to repay your kindness and asked I give you these." He shows Wanning the hair pins. Wanning stares at them stopping in their tracks, eyes widening just a fraction. Mo Ran of course notices, not wanting to misunderstand again.

"For... me?" Wanning asks, just to make sure.

"Yes," Mo Ran says with a smile, wanting to tease he says "don't be too surprised it's not like you never get gifts?" His smile is gone when he spots Wanning shake his head a small inch to the side. Wanning takes them from Mo Ran warm hands. The small pins warm too.

Wanning continue to stare at them. Mo Ran can see the way the corner of Wanning lips twitch up. Wanting to smile. Mo Ran frowns, that was insensitive of him. Everyone is to afraid to get close to him. Who'd give him gifts? He knows it's neither of them, his three disciples, surely his uncle might but the man is generous and a bit of a show off so it might not have been from the heart. Those cheap pins are. A deep heartfelt thank you. How many more generous things has Wanning done and not received a thank you in return? Mo Ran knows he's never thanked Wanning. Coming out of his daze he spots Wanning touching his updo that the servants must have done before leaving.

"Do you want to put them on?" He wonders. Wanning looks at him. He gives a curt nod. "Then let me." He holds his hand out for Wanning to place the pins on his palm again.

"T-thank y-you." Wanning stutters, ears and cheeks flushing as he avoids eye contact but places the pins in his hand. Mo Ran smiles. Cute. He gets behind Wanning. Even with his hair up he doesn't reach far, Mo Ran still has to lean forward.

As Mo Ran thinks of where to place the pins so the boys can see them he decides to say his piece. "I'm sorry shizun." He says softly for only them. He can see Wanning whole body freeze.  He continues, "I'm sorry for my harsh attitude. I... wasn't an easy disciple. I know now how patient you truly were." Mo Ran sticks one pin in. "I was the problem. I didn't want to understand. But I was selfish and hateful. I took it out on you, so I'm sorry. I'm so sorry shizun. Plea-" Mo Ran bites his tongue, shaking his head. He doesn't deserve to ask for forgiveness. "I'm sorry. I'll try to be better." He says instead. With both pins in his hair Mo Ran takes a step back and lowers his head. Ready for any lashing or punishment. Knowing he more than deserves it.

"You've grown." Wanning almost whispers. Mo Ran hears it, raising his head at how sweet it sounds from Wanning. Those purple eyes widen at Wanning face, a small smile to those pink lush lips, phoenix eyes soft around the edge, honey eyes bright. His face softens out back to the usual deadpan, so fast Mo Ran thinks he imagined it. "There is no need to apologize. I am aware I wasn't the shizun I should have been. I'm not anyone's first choice, but it was too late. I was not easy as a shizun, your shizun. For that I apologize." Wanning tilts his head down as a bow.  "The one at fault is me."

"I'll try to be better." Mo Ran announces, mind blank at the fact Wanning apologized to him. Him!

"Mm." Wanning nods turning to leave. Mo Ran follows.

Mo Ran watches Wanning, wanting to continue, tell the other there's no need to apologize to him but the moment has long passed.

They walk past the street vendor. The two boys helping her. They pause at the sight of Wanning, who tilts his head a bit to show off his hair. They stare as he walks by them. Both Wanning and Mo Ran see from the corner of their eye the way they celebrate seeing their pins in Wanning hair. Mo Ran had put it on the side, easily seen but not distracting from the overall look. Mo Ran takes a look at Wanning to see him smiling. Not the small smile from just a moment ago, but equally sweet and happy. Mo Ran heart tightens in his chest, he did it on purpose.

Wanning has always been kind. Even five years ago he's been shown over and over again with the way he took hit after bloody hit in order to save his disciple. Mo Ran was just too stubborn to see it.

Wanning looks a head. He too is ready to start anew. Having been given a second chance he's not going to squander it.

He will be better.

He'll try. He knows it won't be easy. But that's his fault for trying to hard this late.