Vent Book ➳☙

mom again 😨

...OUR HOUSE. COULD BURN DOWN. THE FIRST ONE, MY MOTHER, WOULD SUSPECT, IS ME, HER DAUGHTER.

SOMEONE, PUT A STICKER, FROM A GODDAMN APPLE, ON THE FURNITURE. THE FIRST ONE TO BLAME, IS ME. ME. BECAUSE THAT IS SUCH A CRIME.

Mom, I know I'm a demon child, and that I'm the one of your kids that would most likely commit homicide, but really, that doesn't mean 99% of the time, I AM THE CAUSE. BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES SHE HAS COMPLAINED ABOUT ME DOING SOMETHING THAT IS BAD, WHEN I HAVEN'T, IS BREATHTAKING. OH. MY. GOD.

I seriously feel like she is different to me and my brother.

Bc he can annoy
the living SHIT outta me, but oh no, no no no, she can sit right beside us, witnessing it, answering her damn emails, not giving a fuck that he annoys me.

BUT WHEN I ANNOY MY BROTHER IN THE SLIGHTLEST, SHE GOES "lEaVe YoUr BrOtHeR aLoNe"

...

NO.

"Of CoUrSe I'm DiFfErEnT tOwArDs YoU YoU bOtH aRe DifFeReNt So I tReAt YoU dIfFeReNtLy"

Okay? Yeah we work differently and I cross the line, but he does too, and I get annoyed as hell when he does shit. When I tried to tell my brother that his fucking breathing annoys me, and all sorts of things he does, she starts going off on about how rude I am, and gets mad at me. Just shut up and let me tell him what he maybe can do differently so that we don't fight that much.

Because literally, my brother can't go a second being himself and I will go insane, because his behavior, the way he talks, breaths, looks, acts, annoys me so much, and then my first instinct is to punch or slap him. The fact we are related drives me nuts. I don't even wanna think about being in the same room as him, oh god. So you little old bitch, let me at least shoot him for fucks sake.

My mother can start yelling because she gets stressed, or mad or angry, or sad. But when I start yelling because I'm maybe stressed sad or angry, then it's a: "STOP YELLING YOU DONT YELL AT ME" or something like that. What. The. Fuck.

I scream and yell a lot at school or outside of the house, because frustration and other things often get to me, so I just scream like fuck for maybe three seconds to calm tf down. And when I'm IN the house, I gotta bottle up and shut up so my mom doesn't get all riled up.

And the fact she dares to- even think she knows what it is when I'm maybe not telling her something. "I know you so I know when you're not telling the truth" No you don't know a fraction about me. She doesn't even believe me anymore, And of course I know why, but it's so annoying when I'm honest and she doesn't believe me. But y'know what, I think it's fine unless I get punished for it in some way. If I don't get punished, I'll just sit back, relax, and tell her; "I don't care if you don't believe me, because I KNOW that I'm innocent. Take me to court, I don't mind because I'm aware that I didn't do anything."

I can't wait until I get to live alone, from my mom's boundaries. I can't even make a sandwich for breakfast. I want to get out of there, and be fucking free. It feels like when I'm with her, I'm chained from being myself. Be carefree like I want to, simple and easy, not her... Dumb beliefs that you should buy a damn toothbrush for double the price, when I bought one for half the price, same quality. (I had to buy a new one cuz she used mine to clean the shower.)

I can probably remember tons of times she's pissed me off, but she apparently doesn't acknowledge them, like those moments don't exist. She FORCED me to play soccer in preschool and first grade, and when I brought it up she got mad and said that that "I liked it and I wanted to play" when I damn hated every second of it, and I remember fighting with her COUNTLESS times because I wanted to quit.

But I don't really like her opinion on my dad. Y'know what? I'm not gonna bring that up.

Bye. I can't get the my little pony intro song out of my head.

MY LITTLE PONYYYY MY LITTLE PONYYYY 🐴🐴🐴🐴😫😫😫😩😩😩