Vent Book ➳☙

Why tho?

I always feel like starting fires or doing something incredibly drastic or illegal. Committing crimes and breaking the rules. And goddamnit idk why. I always feel so tempted when I have a lighter, I love playing with fire and I just wanna set like a house on fire. Once me and my bff made a homemade flamethrower and used it at night outside (with hairspray and a lighter we had so much fun) I love the rush when I do something dangerous. I love heights and whatever makes me feel like my life is on the line. And horror movies aren't working anymore. 

Risks are very much my thing. I will often just laugh a lot of things off. I could be chased by Jack the Ripper, and I'd be crying laughing. I think it's fun and addicting with the adrenaline of certain actions. I don't see the seriousness in arson and homicide. I think always how fun it would be if I did commit arson.

I know the consequences of my actions and I resist, but it's starting to become harder to even tell myself not to do it. I often think what would happen if I did. If anyone would find out if it was me or not. Whenever I'm home alone I put some paper in the sink and burn it, watching it burn to ash. Then my mom comes home and wonders why it smells like smoke in the house, and I tell her I was lighting candles.

It's just so goddamn fun. I've always loved breaking the rules and I've never really cared about getting caught. Not too long ago I was bored, so I locked myself in the bathroom and rolled up a piece of paper, lit the end of it and made sure it wasn't on fire, and pretended I smoked.

GOD don't do that, I fucking got asthma or smh 💀💀 if you're gonna do it at least get real cigarettes 🤐

I'm done, 👋