Raised Among Alphas

36 - Time

Alora POV

Answers, all I want are honest answers. Even if the truth hurts.

"It's complicated," Becker grumbled through his teeth now bringing his fingers up to my shoulder tracing the scared marks on my skin.

"It's not that I don't want to accept you. From the moment I first saw you I knew I was doomed to love you. But there are things I need to sort out before completing the bond."

"Things?... such as Sophie?" I asked him almost defeated.

I'm not sure if I am being irrational, but as much as I know I love Kasthor, my connection to Becker trumps that feeling. Am I wrong for thinking Becker should feel the same way about Sophie? Shouldn't he be feeling like our bond comes first?

"That's one of them...I need to make sure your wolf is not a threat to my pup or Sophie."

If it wasn't for the soothing feeling of his touch on my skin which seemed to have me under a Zen spell, I would've felt deeply offended and low-key resentful.

"Can't you just trust my words? I am confident when I say this, I will never hurt them." I felt the need to turn around to stare into his eyes so he could see the truth in them.

As I giggled my way to turn around, my back immediately missed the contact with his skin. I suddenly became aware of how naked I felt without his touch.

"Do you know what would happen if I marked you right now kid?" Becker moved the string of hair that was hanging over my face out of the way as he clung on to that godforsaken awful nickname again.

I held back the urgent need to roll my eyes at him, only because I didn't want to deviate from the topic.

"I know it would strengthen our bond. We would feel each other even if we were miles apart. I will be able to mind-link you..." I had to stop myself from talking as I started to realize the actual consequences of being Becker's mate.

I would be able to mind-link him and his pack members because I will no longer be a member of the Grasslands pack. I will lose my mind contact with my squad, my Alpha, my pack... my family.  No more Desert for me. Not just that... I would be Becker's Luna.

What if resisting me is more than just protecting his pup and Sophie? Maybe is about protecting his whole pack. He doesn't trust me to be his Luna, not just his mate.

"Marking me now would make me your Luna" Who would've thought saying those words out loud would sound that miserable?

"You don't have to make it sound like a tragedy kid." Becker wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him

We were seeing each other eye to eye. With his pull, my knees crashed against him entangling with his legs. My bare breasts resting on his chest, my abs glued to his. There was little to no distance between us, I could feel him everywhere over my skin. All of him... the obvious height difference between us meant our centers didn't quite align in this position. I could feel Becker's bulk in my upper thigh as my groin rubbed against his lower abs.

All the sparks I felt in my back before, returned, now taking over my front. It seemed that our bodies were speaking to each other disregarding the meaning of our actual conversation.

How am I supposed to focus on my depressive thoughts when my whole body seems to be overjoyed?

"Well, sorry if I am not bouncing ecstatic at the idea of not being good enough to be your Luna" I had one of my hands placed on his chest trying to put at least one inch of distance between us.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I turned mine down to my fingers as they played with the fine strands of chest hair covering him.

"You couldn't be more wrong." He pulled my chin up forcing my eyes to meet his.

"If I marked you tonight, everything I am will be yours to access, there won't be any secrets. That's how the bond strengthens. Usually mates are only able to feel each other's emotions, but I have a theory that because of your gift, you'll be able to see them. Pictures of my life for you to access, you'll see everything that lives in my brain. I don't know if I'm ready for that. On a bad day, you could see something that might trigger your wolf that can put Sophie and my pup in danger. If I mark you, your wolf will never allow me to stay with Sophie, and as long as she is pregnant I must be by her side. All we need is time to figure out a way for all of us to be safe together. As much as I love you, I will never be able to stay away from my pup."

I don't know if it was his voice, the way his eyes trapped me, or the meaning of his words but tears fell down my face. Becker's words reached my heart so swiftly and squished it so eloquently that I didn't feel the pain until he was done and silence ruled the room.

"Leave" I asked him heartbroken, I don't even know why.

"Is that what you want me to do?" He asked me very seriously, looking into my eyes for any sign of regret.

"You said you need time to find a way for things to work. Well, I need time to figure out how I feel. So please, leave." with the last bit of willpower that I had, I forced my body away from him and turned away facing the window of my room, where all the grey tones came from the moon and not from Becker's eyes.

I felt the void in my bed as he stood up. I hid my face in the pillow failing miserably to make my tears stop.

"Good night Alora," Becker said as he closed the door behind him, leaving me all alone.

Needless to say, I cried myself to sleep.