repulsion | bl | jjk | ✓

13: saudade

13: saudade

Dawn had come and a figure stood underneath the lone tree in the garden. Unlike the robes he previously wore, the ones hanging on his body were clothes that his elder sister had sown for him.

Clothes that he would wear to his wedding.

They were of blazing red color, bold and passionate and filled with love. It used to be sealed in one of his talismans. In the past, he only took it with him because his elder sister worked hard on it. Now, Long Shen wore it because he wanted to remember his sister who tried to love him till the end.

He remembered when they just lost their family. His elder sister raised him on her own, and remarried she did not. The husband she loved died along with everyone else, leaving only the two of them. In this world, this pair of brother and sister only had each other.

The woman who was cherished and treated like a treasure worked until callouses formed on her hands. She would smile and cook dishes worthy enough to be called Imperial Cuisines. Although she married into the Empress' family, everyone cared for her, especially her husband. She was of weak heart and couldn't bear to hear any war stories.

For someone like that to experience such hardship, Long Shen thought that it was unforgivable. His dearest sister should have lived like a princess, but that spirit ruined everything.

And so, when he was young, Long Shen vowed to get rid of that spirit responsible for everything.

But he was overconfident.

The shaman thought he only needed a couple of weeks to deal with the spirit yet it took him two whole years. Even then, he couldn't exorcise the spirit fully. Instead, that spirit entered his body. Due to its strength, it slowly assimilated with his soul.

Thus, his current situation.

From the tip of his fingers down to his toes, Long Shen had this feeling that this wasn't his body. There was a sense of alienation from his own person. He was Long Shen and at the same time, he was not. This wedding robe served to remind him who he was and to keep him grounded in reality.

The shaman refused to forget but it was imminent, so Long Shen could only try to prolong time. He stood there, barefooted, and felt the snow fall softly. Even when the chill bit into his skin, Long Shen stayed. For the past few years, he began doing this because it felt... peaceful.

So quiet.

Only for something to block the snow. Long Shen opened his eyes and met two pairs staring back. A blanket soon hung upon his shoulders, and two arms embracing him close. "Shen, I told you not to do this anymore."

Sukuna grumbled and picked up the shaman. "You often fall ill for a few days when you do this too frequently." Fortunately, this was the first day of snow and he caught this lunatic early.

Long Shen laughed and snuggled close to the curse, leaning comfortably against the other's chest. "It's just a small illness. You're too fussy about it." But one could hear the joy in his voice, making one's annoyance melt away. The curse couldn't help but helplessly sigh at this lunatic's stubbornness.

"So what if I'm fussy about it?! Just stay inside and keep out of the snow."

"Alright, alright, don't be fussy. Let this Excellency kiss you so don't scowl so ugly like that."

Sukuna's scowl became deeper but it soon vanished as he sat on the engawa, Long Shen on his lap. A pair of smaller hands cupped his face, forcing him to bend down. He met the shaman's eyes up close. They were like a fox's, sharp and filled with mischief. One could never know what goes through his mind unless he purposely lets the other party know.