His Wife

14. Let's just not fight again

Shivanya's pov

After ru left , i locked the room's door and entered the closet. I took out a box ,hidden deep down in my cupboard.

I looked at the box with a different kinda emotions and walked in the bathroom. I sat down leaning against the wall , switched on the shower drenching myself with the cold water.

⚠️Mentions of  Self- harm ahead ⚠️

I opened the box and started at its contains. I have never needed them after my marriage but here i am now.

I took the blade in my hand and looked at it for a minute before lifting down my pyajama pant till my knees. I began to cut long lines on my thighs.

There were many old scars and marks present already. Well , I hate looking at it but it's the only thing which distracts me from my inner pain.

The shower's cold running water wipes off the blood oozing from the numerous cuts I have made. I wash the blade and keep it safely in the box.

I stand up , close the shower and leave the bathroom. I hide the box in my closet. I sit on the closet floor trying to dry myself as I have no intentions nor any energy to change my clothes.  

⚠️ The scene ends⚠️

2 days passed since that incident. I am half lying on the bed , thinking about everything that happened that day. I never thought things would take such an ugly turn.

Ansh hasn't been home yet. His pa rayn told me ansh has been juggling between office and dungeon work.

He didn't eat his meals properly. I am worried about his health. Please god , keep him healthy. I don't have any idea about Arjun Bhai, I am worried for him too.

Maa and dadi will come home tomorrow. Aman and dad will be back in 2 days. They got delayed due to some issues there. Ru will be back by evening I guess.

Thinking about ansh and his words still makes me cry. I thought he atleast cared for me but no he doesn't even consider me as his family. It hurts everytime knowing i have no one in this world to call mine.

I have not left my room let alone the bed in this 2 days , I just couldn't leave from my place. I bet I look even worse than a zombie. I might be dehydrated but I just don't have any energy to move.

I have thought to end myself so many times but i couldn't. I just can't bring myself to do it. I just hate my coward self. I have been doing self harm in this 2 days. I had stopped doing this since I got married to him.

I was brought out of my thoughts with my phone ringing. Looking at the caller id I frowned. Why is aman calling me ? Nevertheless I recieved the call.

"Hello ?"

"Bhabhi I want a help from you." Hearing him it triggered the incident since ru had said the same.

"I can't." I said panicking.

"Bhabhi only you can , bhai is not receiving my call. I need to ask him about a document."

"Call his pa , aman. He isn't receiving my calls too. He is really busy."

"Bhabhi stop lying. It is not possible for bhai not to pick up your phone."

"He is really busy aman please call rayn. I am hanging up now , I don't feel well." I said and hurriedly disconnected the call.

I properly lay down and do the thing which helps me cope up after self harming that is sleeping. I quickly drift off to sleep.

Next time I woke up was due to my phone ringing. I saw the time , it's been three hours since I slept. I accepted the call without seeing the caller id.