Where my Heart Lies

Hatred

Jessica woke up still unsure if last night truly happened and was not just a bad dream of hers. She found herself wrapped in a bedsheet, comfortable on the bed, with Liam nowhere in sight, for which she was thankful. It would make her more embarrassed to see him again, and her thoughts were all over the place just then.

It was seven in the morning when she had woken up, and headed over to cook herself breakfast. Then, she did what she would usually do on a weekend- cooking, cleaning, binging shows, doing some office work. By the time she finished all of that, it was already 3pm. Yet Liam was not anywhere in sight. She knew he could not have gone back without informing her. At least, that was what she hoped. It would sting worse than a bee sting if he had actually left without any words or explanation. Besides, she was pretty sure the man she was with was not the kind of coward who'd does not face his fears.

Jessica, however, could not be more cowardly.

She dreaded the moment he'd see her again. She hated the way he had treated her last night, even though he was drunk. She hated being scared of the place she loved. 

But no matter how much she wanted to delay things and not face them, it would only make the situation worse if not sorted quick enough.

She finally gambled and picked up her phone, fidgeting her fingers over the keyboard trying to form words that'd make the least of sense and convey what she wanted to.

"Where are you? When are you coming back..."

She quickly deleted the last part and rephrased it.

"...Please come back home."

The strong woman inside her debated on whether to beg him to come back or not. But that was how love worked. That was how being with someone worked. You had to take a step back, sometimes multiple steps back, sometimes you had to trample all over your own selfish needs, your own ego? She did it now, because Liam had done so, uncountable times in the past.

She sat in front of the TV in the bedroom, her legs covered with the quilt and stared at nothing on the screen. The movie played and the characters worked, but her mind kept going back to Liam and his impending reply to the texts she sent him, hours ago.

It was nine pm at night now, and her eyelids became droopy, struggling to keep awake. A light wave of sleep even passed over her, but she stirred awake when the doorknob unlocked and the man she had been waiting for, finally came back.

She smiled lightly at him, whereas he could not bring himself to look at her.

"We need to talk." Jessica stated the fact.

Liam looked at her for a second, and then nodded fervently. He climbed into the bed and sat next to her.

"What happened last night?" He had opened his mouth to speak something when the first in a long list of questions came crashing down at him.

"I-"

"Apologize." It was not a request, a pleading or some begging. It was a stern command.

Jessica let her eyes express the anger she had been holding in. One thing she had learned in all these years together with Liam was to never ever compromise on your dignity. Never, not to anyone. She could be vulnerable; she could be weak- but never would she throw the one thing that mattered to her the most.

"I am sorry. Jessica, I am sorry for my actions."

She bit her lip and nodded once in acceptance of his apology. Had he not known the man, she would never believe those words to be sincere, but right then- she could see through his orbs and tell the truth. Liam truly meant each word he said.