Stolen Innocence (Evergreen) [Student/Teacher Love Story]

thirty seven

The next day, Hayden's mom takes all of us to get Starbucks in the morning before school and I fight the urge to throw up as we walk through the front gates. Bianca clutches my arm as we walk through the masses to first period and my breath hitches in my throat when I see Ethan seated in his usual seat.

I debate between sitting somewhere else or sucking it up and doing my best to ignore him, but I run out of time when he turns around, our eyes locking. The smile that was just on his face disappears and I end up just sitting next to him, keeping my eyes facing forward.

"Iris, can we please talk?" He tries to get me to look at him but I physically don't know if I can. I know I'll burst into tears if I look at him for long enough.

I wait patiently for the warning bell to ring and the substitute to enter but I'm slowly losing the ability to ignore him. After what feels like the fiftieth time of him calling for me, the girl behind me nudges me on the shoulder. Sighing, I turn to him, and I do feel like bursting into tears as I look at him.

He looks so much older since the last time I saw him. He, too, looks haggard, tired and sad.

"Talk about what?" He looks taken aback that I even responded to him, and he just nods, saying nothing in response.

The sub finally walks in and all conversation peters out, everyone doing their best not to focus on the elephant in the room, aka: me.

The rest of that hour is long and difficult to get through, with Ethan's presence being right next to me and his eyes burning holes into the side of my head the entire time.

As soon as the bell rings, I'm the first one out the door again, rushing away from him and my friends. A small voice inside of me wonders if I'll ever be able to talk to him again. I know my friends were joking when they said he loved me, but I do often wonder if they were right.

And then, the horrible thought that almost always immediately follows that up, is if I loved him, too. Is it possible to love two people at once for entirely different reasons?

As I stand outside our second period science class, I watch the cascading rain pour down outside, feeling like I want to walk out in it and get lost in it.

When my friends find me, they wrap their arms around me, breaking me out of my thoughts and bringing me back to the present. The horrible, real, painful present.

"What's up?" Hayden asks, rubbing calming circles into my back. I do my best to not glance around at all the students milling by as they try - and fail - to make their staring less obvious.

"I can't do this..." I whisper, a single tear trailing down my cheek. Hayden and Bianca watch me warily before reaching out to grab my hands.

"Do what?"

"I can't...I can't be here. Not after everything that's happened," I murmur, trying to hastily wipe the tears away. B shakes her head, glaring at some guy whose pointing me out to his friends.

"You have as much right to be here as anyone," B states immediately, and I'm reminded of what Mrs. Myers said just last night.

"Yeah," Hayden adds, "Fuck 'em. If they wanna say anythig, they'll have to come through us first," I can't help but smile at their words.

"Oh...okay," I sniffle as we all share a forlorn smile before they lead me to our usual desk and they attempt to shield me from all the stupid onlookers.

—-

I only saw Ethan once for the rest of the day and that was at lunch when he sauntered up to his friends who were milling around Hayden, B and I. When he saw me, he looked away quickly and I left the scene before any words could be exchanged.